#they just are so important to me and i could scream about it all day

[scribblesofagoonerr]

we are the champions! | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

summary: arsenal win the champions league final which is the best birthday present that monkey could wish for.

double the trouble masterlist

“Come on, Monkey. You need to eat up,” Leah gently nudged the bowl of cereal in your direction, her voice was gentle and patient despite the stress of the morning, “If you leave your breakfast any longer then the cereal will go soggy.”

You stared across the table at the bowl like it had personally offended you, “I don’t care. I’m not eating it,” You were adamant on your decision, sure you did love Coco Pops and Leah had made sure to bring a box out to Lisbon so you had them, but you weren’t going to eat them. 

Not today, at least.

“Why not?” Leah arched an eyebrow, “You know it’s important to eat, Monkey.”

You couldn’t—You didn’t want to eat. You didn’t really know how to describe how you felt, but there’s so much noise around you that you can’t handle it.

It was the Champions League Final today. Sure, you were probably going to end up on the bench, but you still couldn’t help the anxiety bubbling up inside of you.

Arsenal were against Barcelona. An incredible team that were reigning champions three years in a row. 

The best of the best.

There felt like there was so much pressure riding on this game.

You snapped your arms tight across your chest and glared at the bowl in front of you, “No I don’t hafta. Breakfast is stupid!”

“Baby, it’s Coco Pops,” Leah tried the soft route, considering you weren’t about to budge any time soon, “They’re your favourite breakfast cereal. I made sure that we brought some with us to Lisbon so you wouldn’t be without.”

“Don’t wanna eat,” You mumbled, remaining stubborn as ever.

“Monkey, you have to eat,” Leah’s tone turned more firm, “You can’t skip breakfast—Look, we can even load the iPad up and you can watch cartoons?” She offered, hoping for a win.

“Nooo!” You whined, shaking your head in firm disagreement, “M’ not eating them and you can't make me!”

Leah exhaled a sigh and raked her free hand through your hair, “It’s going to be a big day today, sweetheart. It’s really important that you eat, or you’ll be no use when you get subbed on in the game, will it?”

“I don’t want to eat ‘em, Muuuuum!” You yelled, voice breaking as your breath came short and quick.

Everything felt hot.

You’re too hot.

“Hey, hey, settle down,” Leah said in a gentle tone of voice, placing a gentle hand on your back, “No shouting, please. What’s the matter? Are you nervous? That’s pretty normal to feel like that. I think we’re all feeling a bit nervous.”

You wanted to just… You wanted to scream—It was everything, and more.

Your skin didn’t feel like it even fit right.

There was just so much more that you couldn’t even put into words right now.

You just knew that right now you didn’t want to eat your breakfast.

Even if it was your favourite.

You let out a small sob and buried your face in Leah’s shoulder in an attempt to hide from the outside world around you, “N… No! I don’t wanna!”

Leah shifted in her chair to wrap both of her arms around you, “Okay, alright, it’s all okay,” She held you close, rubbing circles on your back, “Do you remember what we were talking to Auntie Al and the rest of them the other day at lunch?”

You sniffled, trying to listen.

“They were telling us about when they won the Champions League, remember that?” Leah continued to speak in a gentle tone of voice, “It was eighteen years ago, and they were so proud. Auntie Al still speaks of it being one of the best days of her life.”

You didn’t give a real response, other than a shaky breath.

“I have a good feeling about today, my girl,” Leah whispered against your hair, “It’s gonna happen. Do you believe in magic?” She pulled back just enough to tilt your chin up, “I do. And I think it would be a pretty amazing birthday present for you if we win, wouldn’t it?”

Before you could respond, Katie strode into the hotel dining room with her usual cocky grin plastered on her face, “Oi, oi, what’s going on in here then, little lady?”

You glanced up and scowled at the familiar brunette unimpressed, proceeding to curl further into Leah like she was able to just shield you from everything.

“Someone doesn’t want to eat her breakfast,” Leah said, a knowing glance to peer down at you all but practically clinging to her, refusing to sit in your own seat.

Katie crouched beside the table, eyeing you playfully, “Yer not wanting to eat yer brekkie, aye? That’s not like yer.”

“I’ve tried with her,” Leah exhaled a sigh, dropping the spoon back in the abandoned bowl, “I’m havin’ no luck. I think she’s feeling overwhelmed.”

“Here, let me have a go,” Katie reached for the cereal bowl, “Come on, yer’ve gotta keep yer strength up all for when we lift that trophy, yeah?”

There was still no response from you.

“Alright, time to bring out the big guns then,” Katie shared a grin with Leah, lifting the spoon, “Here comes to choo-choo train—”

You turned your head in a dramatic fashion.

“Geesh, tough crowd,” Katie muttered, dropping the spoon back in the bowl, “Alright, listen lady. Even if yer being a stubborn little… Right, yer’ve gotta eat, like it or not.”

Once more, you didn’t budge.

Katie tried again, relentlessly attempting to try and achieve getting you to even eat a single bite, “Open up…” 

You weren’t having any of it. 

You squirmed. 

And then, without further warning, you snapped, “I’m not fuckin’ Buddy!” You didn’t even think twice before flinging the bowl with force, the milk and Coco Pops flying through the air, until the entire thing landed on Kim.

“Logan Reece!” Leah exclaimed in outrage, “That is not okay to do! What has gotten into you today, young lady?!”

The moment should have been comical. It was déjà vu all over again. ��

Twice.

Most of the girls remembered you doing the same thing eight years ago, with a chocolate cupcake to the poor Scottish woman.

Not to mention when you flung your breakfast at Caitlin in Melbourne last year.

There was a stunned silence for a brief second.

Kim just stood there, frozen and in complete disbelief.

“Oh my God,” Kyra burst into a fit of laughter and breaking the initial silence in the room, “No way did that just happen… again!”

“Seriously?” Kim murmured, deadpan as she glanced down at herself where the milk and cereal was dripping off her now, “Again?!”

“I’m so sorry, Kim,” Leah was quick to apologise, spluttering and reaching for napkins to frantically dab at Kim’s shirt, “I’m so sorry—she’s just… she’s pretty overwhelmed right now.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Kim muttered, the napkin in her hand doing little effort to soak the spilled milk, “Why is it always me?”

“Don’t forget it’s happened to me as well,” Caitlin chimed in at the perfect opportunity, “The little menace just loves to throw her food at people.”

Kim barely spared a single glance at Leah, “She needs a timeout. Now.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Leah muttered, already untangling you from her side and was now standing up, “I’m already on it now. Don’t worry.”

“I cannot believe that just happened,” Kyra snickered, “Should’ve worn your raincoat to breakfast today, Cap.”

“Don’t rile her up, pest,” Steph nudged Kyra, giving her a knowing look.

Kim slowly turned to her with a sharp look, “Do you want to join your counterpart in timeout as well?” She questioned, not even waiting for a response from the young Australian girl, “Zip it, Kyra.”

Kyra did as she was told and shut her mouth immediately.

“This isn’t fair,” You whined, not having a whole lot of choice but to be tugged away from the table and led back upstairs to the hotel room you had this misfortune of sharing with Leah, once again—After the whole fiasco in Melbourne last year, you never had the opportunity to have your own hotel room.

It wasn’t even you sneaking into your room, and that was all on Kyra right there.

“Muuuuuum, s’ not fair. I don’t wanna,” You whined, in full sulk mode, “I’m twenty now. Timeouts dumb, and stupid… and I don’t need one!”

Leah stopped abruptly, turning to crouch so she was level with you, “Are you  sure about that?” Her tone was steady, “Because throwing your breakfast across the room doesn’t exactly scream ‘mature adult’, does it, Logan Reece?”

You scowled. You hated hearing your first name—especially from her. It always meant you were in trouble.

“Go,” Leah said firmly, pointing towards the designated timeout spot she’d set up in the corner of the hotel room, “Five minutes. Sit, calm down, and think about your choices. Then we’ll talk, okay?”

“S’ not fair,” You grumbled, slumping into the chair with exaggerated reluctance, arms crossed over your chest, “Don’t like this,” You mumbled, kicking the carpet.

“Actions have consequences, Monkey,” Leah reminded you gently as she settled down on the edge of the bed, pulling out her phone but keeping an eye on you, “No talking. Just think.”

Timeout felt like torture.

You continued to shift around on the chair for what felt like the millionth time. You fidgeted, crossing and uncrossing your arms all while you kicked your legs grumpily against the carpet in the hotel room.

Five whole minutes to you felt like the longest time in the world.

That was like, forever.

You even tried glaring at Leah every couple of seconds in a silent plea for mercy, hoping that she’d maybe forget the rules for this once and let you off.

But no… apparently not.

Instead, she sat on the edge of the bed carelessly scrolling through her phone in her hand.

“Mum,” You whined, trying to get her attention.

There was no answer from the blonde.

You flopped back in your chair in a dramatic fashion only you could handle, “Muuuuuum. M’ bored sittin’ here!”

Still, nothing at all.

“This is so dumb,” You muttered to yourself, “I’m twenty now. S’ not fair!”

“I know exactly how old you are, Logan Reece,” Leah said without missing a single beat, her tone was calm but firm, “But you weren’t acting twenty when you launched your cereal.”

You shrank back instantly at the mention of your full name again, scrunching up your nose, “I didn’t mean it… Was an accident.”

“Oh, really?” Leah finally looked up, her eyebrow raised, “You shouted, swore and then threw your cereal across the table. Which part of that exactly was the accident?”

You didn’t answer, instead you just continued to stare down at your lap.

Eventually, the timer went off on her phone and without any hesitation, you bolted from the chair and threw yourself into Leah’s arms like nothing had happened.

“I… I’m sorry!” You cried, burying your face into her shoulder, “I… I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it. I promise, I… I didn’t!”

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Leah soothed, holding you tightly, “Take a few deep breaths, yeah?”

You did what you were told, inhaling and exhaling. Just enough to help.

“Better?” Leah asked, tucking a loose stray of hand behind your ear.

You gave a wobbly nod, “Uh-huh.”

“You’re not a bad girl, Monkey,” Leah murmured, brushing a hand down your back, “But you need to learn how to use your words instead of throwing things. Especially when you’re overwhelmed.”

You sniffled, nodding into her shoulder while your fingers curled into the fabric of her training top, “I’m sorry, Mum.”

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Leah reassured you quickly, rubbing your back, “You made a mistake but it’s okay now. I know you felt overwhelmed in there, and I should’ve removed you from the situation before it escalated in the way it did. I know you’re having a bit of a tough morning, aren’t you?”

“Uh-huh,” You murmured, remaining to cing to Leah, “Didn’t… I didn’t mean it to throw my breakfast at Auntie Kimmy. M’ sorry.”

Leah brushed a strand of hair out of your face, “I know, sweetheart. That’s why I thought it was best to have a timeout, so you could get the chance to stop and breathe, yeah?”

“Didn’t like everyone bein’ in there,” You admitted, reluctant to let go of Leah, “Too loud… And everything felt itchy.”

Leah hummed, rocking you slightly in her arms, “I know, baby. I know. You’re allowed to feel all of that,” She paused, “But throwing cereal? It’s not the answer, is it?”

You gave the tiniest shake of your head.

“So, what are you going to do next time that everything gets too much?” Leah questioned, thoughtfully.

You hesitated, sniffling into her shoulder, “Tell you?”

“Exactly,” Leah kissed your temple, “You come to me, and let me help you. I’m your Mum. That’s my job to take care of you, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” You whispered, melting into her arms the moment she pulled you up and into her lap, “I don’t like bein’ in trouble anymore.”

“You’re not in trouble anymore, Monkey,” Leah promised, rocking you gently against her chest, “You’re having a hard morning. You just need to reset and try again now, alright?”

You nodded, letting yourself sink into her completely, “M’ sorry for throwing breakfast at Auntie Kimmy,” You repeated your apology, “I… I don’t want her to be mad with me.”

“Oh I know that you are, Monkey,” Leah hugged you tighter, her chin resting on top of your head, “Auntie Kimmy will understand, she won’t be mad. You know she loves you to pieces and can see you were having a tough time as well. I’m sure it’s nothing that a big hug can’t fix, is it?”

“I can do that,” You mumbled, a faint smile appearing on your face, “Can I still play in the game today?”

Leah’s smile faltered, “I don’t think that’s quite a good idea, Monkey. It’s clear you’ve been having a hard morning, maybe it’s better to sit on the bench for this game?”

“What? Nooo!” You whined, immediately protesting against the idea, “That’s… That’s not fair! You can’t do that—It’s the Champions League Final!”

“I know, and I know you’re not pleased with the idea of it,” Leah said, pulling back just enough to look at you, “But even if you sit on the bench, you’re still a part of the team, sweetheart. And you’ll have Auntie Wally there to keep an eye on you.”

“S’ not fair!” You huffed, definitely not happy with the decision, “I… I promise I’m fine. I want to play, Mum.”

“I know you do, Monkey, but I think this is for the best. You’re not fit to play, regardless of what happened this morning. You’re still recovering after giving birth,” Leah explained, while you stiffened at the sudden mention of the one thing you were trying your hardest to forget, “Right now, we just need to focus on getting you back to a good place. You… You can’t play like this, you’d only be hurting yourself more than helping the team.”

“N… No, you can’t take football from me!” You whispered, tears returning to your eyes, “Mum, it’s the final—Everyone will be watching! I…. I wanna be on the pitch! I wanna… I wanna make you proud…”

“Oh, my girl,” Leah’s heart cracked right down the middle, “You’re already making me so proud of you,every day you make me so, so proud of you! I know how much you want too, but you need to take the time to focus on yourself, yeah? Regardless of what happens today, win or lose, I’m proud of you.”

You gave a faint soft nod and buried your face in Leah’s chest.

“And you know what? Bench or not, you’re still a part of this team,” Leah murmured, lowering her voice to be more gentler now as she slowly rocked you in her arm, “You’ll still be right there with us, but you need to be sensible about this.”

You sniffled once more, peeking up as your voice remained hesitant, “I… I know.”

Leah smiled, scooping you further into her lap as she shifted properly on the bed, “You’ll come back even stronger next season,” She kept her arms wrapped firmly around you, “I know it, my girl.”

“This isn’t fair! This is ridiculous! I’m fine! I could be helping!” You huffed, fidgeting in your seat on the bench as you watched the game pan out, the nerves coiling tight in your chest.

You sat beside Lia, who had been tasked with watching over you—not exactly your idea of a good time, all things considered. 

Arsenal tried to carve out an opening within the 22nd minute and forcing an own goal from Irene Paredes when Frida delivered a dangerous cross into the box.

You jumped up high in the air, excited to think that Arsenal had taken the lead—only for VAR to rule it out and declare Frida offside when she recovered possession of the ball.

The injustice of it stung just a bit.

The 67th minute had just ticked past and the tension was so thick in the air. Your knees bounced wildly. Your sleeves were taking a beating from how much you were tugging at them—Your mood soured even more when you saw the sub’s board lighting up.

“S’ not fair!” You grumbled once again, seeing Beth’s number going on to replace Chloe and Stina coming on for Frida, “I should be goin’ on! S’ not fair!”

That should have been you.

But no… Instead, you were forced to sit on the bench and watch in absolute despair.

“This ain’t fair! Why am I not allowed to be subbed on and they are?!” You scowled, huffing and crossing your arms over your chest. 

Of course you weren’t annoyed with either of them, they deserved it but you were annoyed with the situation.

It really wasn’t fair.

“Monkey,” Lia gave you a firm look, “Knock it off.”

“No, like actually, I don’t get it! Everyone’s out there grafting and I’m stuck ‘ere watching this… And I can’t do nuffin’ to help!” You fumed, tugging at your sleeves anxiously while your heart raced every time a player from Barca got near the box.

“Hey,” Lia pulled you in close, wrapping an arm around you, “It’s okay. You’re still part of the team, remember?”

“Pft, as if! I don’t feel like it!” You exclaimed, pulling away as you scrunch your face up in protest, “This… This is supposed to be my game too!”

“Calm down, little one,” Lia warned in a gentle tone of voice but it still held an edge of firmness, “You might not like it. But there’s no point in throwing a strop in front of everyone here.”

“I’m… I’m not throwing a hissy fit!” You protested, crossing your arms over your chest, “S’ not fair. I just… I wanna be on the pitch. Not sitting here, not bein’ able to doin’ nuffin! I feel… I just feel useless!”

“Let’s go!” Emily screamed off camera after a good clearance.

You flinched as you watched Emily scramble back to recover from a Barca break, “I could’ve been there, doin’ something… and instead—instead i’m being fuckin’ forced to sit here—”

“Aye! Language!” Lia chastised.

“English,” You muttered cheekily, barely caring anymore.

“Don’t get cocky, little one,” Lia warned, but you were too fired up to flinch.

At one point, Leah caught your eye during a water break, “Stop it,” Even then she was able to remain stern, causing you to shrink down in your seat while your face was hot with frustration and embarrassment.

You had no choice but sit there and watch with disappointment seeping through you as the minutes passed.

It was the 74th minute of the game when the breakthrough came, Beth slid a reverse pass through to Stina, who managed to tuck it into the bottom left corner.

“O… Oh my God!” You shot up from your seat, the strop forgotten in an instant as you screamed loud enough to make half the bench jump, “YES! G’WAN STINA BALLERINA!”

You were high on energy and bouncing on the spot, your arms flailing in the air and shrieking in delight.

“Stina… She was actually on side for once!” You shouted as Lia grabbed the back of your shirt instinctively to stop you from running over into the tactical box in your excitement, “She was bloody onside!”

“Sit down, Monkey,” Lia laughed, yanking you back but you couldn’t stop grinning with wide eyes,your hands rested on your head not actually believing what had just happened.

“I knew it! I bloody knew it!” You exclaimed, vibrant energy as you yelled to nobody in particular.

“Calm down, Monkey,” Lotte laughed, shaking her head.

You scoffed, looking at the brunette in question, “Calm down? This is big! Stina just scored!” You shouted just before you turned to Kyra, your counterpart, “Ky! Ky! Stina fuckin’ scored! Stina Ballerina went and put it in the back of the net! G’wan girl! Pop off!”

“She was onside! She was onside!” Kyra grinned, leaning over and putting you in a headlock, “Stina Stina Stina Stina Stina Blacksteniuuuuuuuus!” She shouted at the top of her voice, excitement bubbling up.

Even Renee cracked a smile at the noise that the pair of you were making from where she stood on the sidelines of the pitch.

But that still didn’t stop you itching to get on the pitch yourself.

By the 80th minute you were starting to become insufferable to deal with.

“When can it be my turn to go on?” You questioned, very much near breaking point, “I’m bored sittin’ here!”

“Monkey,” Lia fixed you with a firm warning look, “Reign it in a bit.”

You huffed, slumping down and crossing your arms over your chest—You have no doubt the camera’s probably already cut you mid-sulk on the bench and it was now displayed on the big 4k screen.

“Aye, look, Monkey!” Kyra grinned, not so gently nudging your shoulder before pointing to the said screen, “You’re on the big screen! Give everyone a big smile!”

“No,” You scowled, trying to look away because you have no single doubt that everyone watching would mention this to you—including your family up in the stands, and extended family such as Alex and her girlfriend, Jess Glynn, who also happened to be one of your favourite singers.

Not to mention Jacob would absolutely tease you over this.

Yeah. Just brilliant.

“Relax, Monkey. It’ll happen,” Lotte murmured, beside you as she nudged your arm and grinned, although she hadn’t clocked the full story—she had no idea you’d already been told no, “You just gotta be patient, yeah? You’ll get your moment.”

You really did want to believe her.

However, it was difficult when the minutes were nearing until the full time whistle blew.

“I hope you do, otherwise I’ll chuck you on there myself,” Kyra leaned forward from her seat beside you, “You’re fidgeting like mad right now—Come on, Gaffa. Give ‘er a chance, eh? She deserves this!”

“Give the kid a shot,” Vic piped in from the bench.

Renee hesitated for a brief second before exhaling a sigh, “Alright, fine. Go and start warming up. You’ll be subbed in during the added time.”

“YES!” You bolted upright from your seat and wasted no time in starting to warm up on the sidelines—You were going to be ready.

This was your moment now.

Even if others wouldn’t agree with that decision.

With a quick warmup on the sidelines, the added time was announced before you and Lotte both stepped onto the pitch, subbed in at 90+1.

Lifelong childhood Gooners.

On the pitch.

In the Champions League final.

It felt like fate.

As you stepped onto the turf, your heart thudded with excitement and there was a faint buzzing in your ears as your name was called out to be subbed in for Mariona. 

Across the pitch, Leah’s head snapped towards the board with a mixture of shock and confusion spread across her face.

Your number was lit up to place Mariona’s.

That wasn’t the plan.

Surely it was too soon for you to be returning to the pitch?

You waited for the Spaniard to make her way over to you, allowing her to pull you into a hug, “Make the most of this moment, sweetheart,” Her voice warm and gentle, You’ve earned it.”

“Go on, Monkey,” Alessia encouraged warmly, embracing you and squeezing you tightly. 

You raced onto the pitch and began to make an immediate impact in the game.

This was your moment. Like Mariona said. 

You weren’t about to waste it. 

Not for one single second.

With an extra seven minutes of added time, you ran harder than what you had in months. The passion burning deep inside your core—-every touch on the ball, every sprint, nothing was going to matter now, but you just wanted to make sure you were present in the game. 

You wanted to live in the moment. 

And then—-the full time whistle blew. 

The stadium erupted.

“YEEEEAAAAHHHH!” You screamed at the top of your voice, fist pumping and jumping in the air as triumph took over your face, “WE FUCKIN’ DID IT! C’MONNNN!”

You didn’t spare another single thought other than turning around and sprinting full-tilt towards Leah, the adrenaline was still screaming through your veins. 

“Muuuum!” You screamed, barely allowing Leah to have any chance to react in time before you barrelled into her, both of you crashing to the ground in a tangle of limbs, noise and pure, unfiltered emotion.

You were crying before your knees even hit the grass.

You continued to cling to her like a lifeline and sob into her shoulder, your arms wrapped around her as if letting go would undo the whole thing.

You wanted to remember this moment forever.

“Oh my girl… We did it,” Leah whispered, tears streaking her cheeks as her hand cradled the back of your head, “We fuckin’ did it, my girl!”

If you weren’t so shocked and emotional you definitely would have called her out on her use of colourful language, never to miss the opportunity to wind her up. 

Even today.

“We… We are the fuckin’ champions!” You choked out between ragged breaths, your voice cracking with disbelief, “We… We actually won!”

“We did indeed, baby girl,” Leah murmured, her voice trembling softly and thick with pride and love, there was so much that she wanted to say but she just couldn’t find the words as she just held onto you tightly, “You… You were on the pitch with me, remember this moment, my girl. We did it together.”

“I barely even touched the ball,” You murmured, 

You couldn’t even speak anymore. You just buried your face in her neck while your body shook with laughter and sobs as you lay tangled up with her on the pitch amidst the rest of the chaos.

It wasn’t long before you were piled on by Kim, Lia, Manu, Lotte and Naomi joining your post-match celebrations with screams, hugs and bodies flopping over yours.

Any other day you’d have hated it—the weight, the noise, the touching—you’d have shrieked for everyone to get off, to let you move and breathe.

But today?

Today was so much different.

Because today, you were officially Champions of Europe.

Eventually the dogpile untangled itself, bit by bit until you were helped to your feet by Beth and tossed straight into another tight embrace by none other than Katie, who spun you in a circle in happiness.

“We fuckin’ did it, little lady!” Katie shouted, cupping your face between her hands, “We fuckin’ did it!”

“Language, Auntie Katie!” You giggled infectiously, allowing her to lift you up and throw you up on her shoulders—for old times sake, you know?

“Katie! Put her down before you drop her!” Leah panicked, back in full-mum mode as she saw an accident waiting to happen, marching over with her eyebrows already halfway to her hairline.

Katie just chuckled, “Ah, don’t worry, Le. She’s fine—I’ve not even had a drink yet,” She joked, spinning in a slow circle.

“Leave her be, Mama Bear, we’re celebrating!” Beth teasingly grinned as she jogged up beside Leah, throwing an arm around her shoulder, “Let her have her moment. Champions of Europe. First time in Eighteen years!”

“CHAMPIONS OF EUROPE!” You screamed at the top of your lungs, throwing your hands in the air from your perch on Katie’s shoulders—the words still didn’t feel real right, as if they never actually would.

“Yeeeeah baby!” Katie grinned, bouncing slightly and making you shriek with laughter, “This is the celebration of a bloody lifetime!”

You didn’t care, you were having the time of your life right now. Your face was streaked with happy tears and your hair was a wild mess in comparison to how it started, and you were so high on life after the win.

Arsenal were Champions of Europe.

That name had never sounded so good to you right now.

“Oi! Oi! Oi! British Menace!” Kyra yelled, grinning like a devil, “Planning to get down and celebrate together any time soon?”

“Nahhhhh, Aussie Pest!” You grinned, trying to kick your leg out at her from Katie’s shoulders but nearly overbalancing in the process, “I’m livin’ the life, Ky! I’m absolutely livin’ the life right up here!”

“Aye, little lady! Stop flailing about or I’m gonna drop yer,” Katie held onto you tightly as she felt you start to wobble, “I’ll have yer Ma’s on my case if yer not careful.”

Leah was instantly at your side again, “Katie, man, put my daughter down before she breaks her neck and I have to take her to the hospital instead of the podium!”

“Alright, alright,” Katie groaned theatrically, crouching to let you slide safely to the ground, “Fun police are out in full force tonight.”

Your legs wobbled when you hit the grass, but Kyra was already there to steady you while laughing, “I can’t believe we did it!”

“Me neither! It feels… surreal!” You shrieked, grabbing her hand in an attempt to run towards the crowd of Arsenal fans in Lisbon, “We fuckin’ did it, Gooners! We fuckin’ did it! C’mon!”

“Yeah baby! Best believe we did!” Kyra whooped before promptly tackling you to the ground.

“Ah, Kyra!” You squealed in surprise, landing in a heap with a breathless laugh, “Nooo! Ky! Nooo!”

“Careful, Monkey,” Kim said in a warm tone of voice that still held a sense of sterness to it, “We don’t need you injuring yourself before the celebrations even start.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, Auntie Kimmy!” You called, grinning up from the grass, “We’re only messin’ about and havin’ a good time!”

“C’mere, you,” Kim attempted to pull you into a tight hug as you stood up, “I want to talk to you.”

“Agh, no!” You groaned, tilting your head back in a dramatic fashion, “Seriously! You’re not gonna start to get all soppy on me now, are you?”

“I’ll pretend like you didn’t just say that,” Kim remarked in a playful tone, “I just wanted to say that I’m proud of you, Monkey.”

You shrugged, feeling instantly uncomfortable, “Why? I hardly did anythin’ at all,” You mumbled, “It was all you and everyone else!”

 Kim could see your facade, pulling you closer to her, “Stop being cheeky for once and just… listen.”

“Okay, okay, alright. I’m listenin’ to you!” You went quiet, nodding in agreement.

“I’m proud of you, sweetheart,” Kim spoke up again, leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your temple, “After everything you’ve been through… You’re still standing, and still fighting. You still love the game. And now… Look where we are!” She gestured around you, to the cheering team and the flashing cameras, “We’re standing here as Champions of Europe!”

You swallowed hard, your throat suddenly feeling tighter, “... Yeah.”

Leah joined you properly, wrapping her arms around your shoulder protectively, “We did it, my girl,” She whispered, her lips brushing your hair, “If only your Grandma Jean could see this moment now. She’d be so proud of you, Monkey!”

Your grin faded into a trembling smile, “You… You really think so?”

“I know so,” Leah said softly, brushing a tear from your cheek, “She’d be standing up there with the rest of the family and shouting louder than all of us combined. She would be so proud of you right now!”

“I… I miss her,” You quietly admitted, tilting your head up to look at the sky, “I did this for you, Grandma. I love you.”

“And she loves you too,” Leah protectively wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pointed up into the crowd, “Look over there, your little sister is waving!” 

You followed her line of sight to where you could make out a small figure—Buddy, donned head to toe in her own Mini Arsenal kit while on David’s shoulders, beaming from ear to ear.

“I see her!” You beamed a matching smile, just about able to make out the high-pitched squeal that she was no doubt shouting at the top of her lungs from the stands, “When can she come down onto the pitch? She’ll love this!”

“You bet she will,” Leah chuckled, a fond smile plastered on her lips as she waved and blew a great big kiss into the crowd—no doubt something that fans would have easily captured, “Soon enough. We have to lift the trophy first, though.”

To the left, you caught Elle and Jacob—the two of them with their arms wrapped around one another, both grinning wide and proud. Absolutely buzzing and overwhelmed with pride and emotion.

Then, your eyes found Amanda.

There she was, swaying Rugrat gently to her chest. The infant’s tiny frame bundled up, her face tucked against Amanda’s neck with a pair of tiny pink ear defenders bobbed gently with each step. You noted the way that one of Rugrat's hands was curled around the fabric of Amanda’s shirt while the other rested limply against her chest.

Your breath caught for just a second.

It was too much.

Leah felt it in an instant.

“Hey,” Leah murmured, her grip tightening protectively around your shoulders as she pulled you in close, “You’re okay. You’re safe, right here. I’ve got you.”

You nodded, a bit too quickly, “I know… I just…” You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat, your eyes were locked on the tiny pink ear defenders that bobbed gently as Amanda swayed. 

You had to look away—right now… right now it hurt too much to even think about.

You didn’t want to dwell on anything today. Today was supposed to be a happy day.

Today your team won.

And today? You were Arsenal. You were Champions of Europe.

Leah didn’t push you to speak, she knew you weren’t ready as she kept her arms firmly around your shoulder, she just leaned in and pressed a kiss to the side of your head, right above your temple, “It’s okay. I’ve got you. Everything is fine, yeah?”

You nodded in agreement, this time slower as you finally allowed yourself to let the tears fall freely, burying your face in her shoulder in an attempt to look away and block out any emotions that you didn’t want to feel right now—right now, you wanted to live in the moment and be happy.

Looking at Rugrat—your baby… It was agony. Pure, raw agony.

It reminded you of everything that happened, everything that you didn’t want to relive again.

Your whole body trembled and the sobs that left you were quiet but full of ache.

“Come on,” Leah gently guided you forwards with her arms wrapped around you, “Let’s go and join everyone else. We’ve gotta clap for the Barca girls, yeah? Then we’ll get our medals and do the trophy lift.”

That’s when Alessia appeared on the other side of you and looped her arm around your shoulder.

“Hey, Monkey,” Alessia whispered gently as she glanced at you, “Hey, are you okay? What’s wrong? What’s the matter?”

You didn’t know what to say—the words just weren’t coming out.

Your mouth opened, but nothing came out. Nothing more than a strangled breath and followed by a broken sob, and suddenly it felt like your legs didn’t quite feel so steady anymore.

“She’s okay,” Leah tightened her hold, rubbing soothing circles on your back, “She just… She saw the baby. My mum’s got her at the minute, it’s all a bit too much.”

Understanding dawned across Alessia’s face in an instant as she softened her expression, giving you a small, knowing nod.

“Leah!” Lia called her over, waving her hand frantically.

Leah turned at the sound of someone shouting her name, “One sec!”

“Go on,” Alessia gently squeezed your shoulder, “I’ve got her. She’s safe with me.”

“Thanks, Less,” Leah shared a grateful smile with Alessia and headed over to Kim.

“C’mere you,” Alessia tucked you close to her, wiping a stray tear from your cheek before turning to wave up at the stands—right where Buddy was still bouncing and waving her arms excitedly, “You’re so brave, you know? So strong. You deserve this day. Every single moment we’re about to make.”

You couldn’t muster the right words—You didn’t know what to say. You just leaned into Alessia’s side and clung to her while your teammates were all just dotted around, buzzing in the atmosphere of the win.

“Come on, my girl. It’s time to collect our medals now,” Leah murmured, her voice soft as her fingers curled around yours.

You didn’t want to let go of Leah’s hand.

Not even for a second.

Everything felt so loud. Your heart hurt and the flashing lights were too much to handle as you stood in the line to receive your medal. The noise pressed in from every single side of the stadium—You weren’t a fan of the cheering, the shouting nor the booming volume from the large speakers.

It felt like the ground was moving under your boots as you tightened your grip on Leah, there was an attempt to cling onto her as if you were almost afraid that she would disappear if you even let go for a single second.

Your chest felt squashed. The heat felt unbearable. Like everything going on around you was too fast. You didn’t know what to do, other than duck your head and keep it pressed against Leah’s arm in hopes to try and block out some of the noise and flashes that were making your eyes sting.

“You’re okay, my girl. You’re okay,” Leah whispered, rubbing gentle circles on your back as her voice tried to keep you anchored, “I’ve got you, right now.”

“H… How much longer?” You questioned, though your voice was barely louder than a whisper.

“Not that much longer,” Leah promised, brushing her lips against your hair, “We’ll get our medals. Then we’re going to lift the trophy, yeah? We’ll keep it simple, Monkey.”

You weren’t very keen with that answer, overall.

It didn’t feel simple to you.

None of this was simple.

“What’s wrong?” Kim questioned, concerned as she caught the tail end of the conversation.

“She’s just feeling a bit overwhelmed,” Leah explained in a gentle tone of voice, “She’ll be okay, though.”

“Not long now, sweetheart,” Kim sent you a reassuring smile, understanding the overwhelming feeling of everything, “Before we know it, we’ll be celebrating our win, yeah? You’re doing an amazing job, right now, darling.”

You didn’t say anything. You couldn’t—You just pressed yourself further into Leah’s side as your whole body vibrated with the effort of trying to hold it all together.

Before you know it, your free thumb is making its way into your mouth and sucking hard, you couldn’t have cared less about people seeing though—you were just trying to not cry in front of everyone.

Leah could feel you trembling and leaned down, “You’re doing brilliant, baby,” She murmured, gently prising your thumb out of your mouth, “But let’s try to not put your thumb in your mouth though, yeah?”

You whimpered softly as your bottom lip wobbled and the line inched forward. Every step closer made your legs feel heavier—The lights were bright. The clapping was becoming louder. Your ears rang and your stomach flipped as you clung onto Leah tighter while your hands became increasingly sweaty and shaking inside of hers.

You didn’t want to go up there.

Did you even deserve a medal?

It wasn’t like you’d even played in the match. It was just seven measly minutes.

You hadn’t done enough to deserve one.

Leah gave your hand a squeeze, “Just one step at a time, okay? It’s going to be fine,” She told you in a soft tone of voice, moving closer towards the podium to step up and receive your medal.

It didn’t feel like one step, though. It felt like a mountain.

“Mum,” You faltered in your step as you moved that slightest bit forward, you wanted to keep your body pressed right up against Leah’s side and not say a single word, “I… I don’t want to do it.”

“I’m right here, my girl,” Leah murmured, pulling you close to her and rubbing her hand up and down your back, “I’m right here. You’re safe. You’re doing so well today.”

But even her calm voice didn’t stop the panic flooding through your entire body.

“I… I don’t wanna,” You clung to her arm tighter, then tried to clamber upwards, tugging at Leah’s top as you tried to scramble into her arms, desperate to be held.

“I know, sweetheart,” Leah murmured, her own voice cracked with heartbreak as she held you close, “Monkey, I can’t pick you up right now. I know that it’s hard. You’re being so brave, and it’s just a little bit longer, okay?”

You let out a high, whiny sound which almost sounded like a sob. Your whole body felt incredibly tense, but you didn’t care how ridiculous you currently looked—You just wanted her.

You just wanted your Mum.

“I’m right here, I’m not letting go,” Leah leaned in closer, pressing her forehead against your own, “I’m not leaving you. You’re okay.”

You didn’t want to stand in the line anymore to receive your medal.

By the time that you were about to collect your medal, you were very reluctant to let go of Leah’s hand so it happened that you collected both of them together—You didn’t care about the thoughts or comments. 

You didn’t want to let go of her hand.

You stepped up, barely as you clung to Leah and trembled.

The medal went over your head and straight into your mouth, your teeth clamping around the cool metal like you thought it could help you and anchor you to something real… something safe.

It didn’t.

“Right then,” Leah said gently, keeping her voice soft against the roar of the crowd in the background, “Auntie Kimmy is going to need my help to lift the trophy now…”

“No, no, no… Don’t go!” You cried, fingers tightening around hers in a panic.

“I know you want to hold my hand still, baby,” Leah murmured, crouching a little closer, “But it’ll just be for a minute—”

“Noooo!” You whined, not caring less about causing a scene at this very moment.

“Monkey,” Leah added more firmly, but you weren’t wanting to hear anything as you shook your head while your voice was high pitch in panic.

Leah paused, gazing around and fully aware of the cameras, of the fans in the crowd and the way that your distress might play out on screens and in the headlines, “Listen to me, yeah? Listen, sweetheart… It won’t be for long, I promise. You’ll still be able to see me.”

Before you could fall apart any further, Lia stepped in as she rested a steady hand landing gently on your back, “It’s alright, Le,” She said kindly, “I’ll stay with her while you lift it. She won’t be alone. You go ahead.”

“Thanks, Wally,” Leah gave a grateful smile, giving your hand a final squeeze before gently passing it over, “I won’t be long, Monkey. Don’t worry. You’ll be okay.”

“Me and you will be alright here, won’t we?” Lia spoke to you in a gentle tone of voice, “You can hold onto my hand and squeeze it as hard as you’d like.”

“Want Mum,” You whined pitifully, reluctantly holding onto Lia’s hand as she guided you over to the podium to join the rest of your teammates.

“She’s right there in front of us. You can see her,” Lia looped her arm around your waist and lifted you slightly so you were tall enough to peek over the shoulders of everyone, “Just one trophy lift, there’ll be some confetti and celebrations and then you can go straight back to her.”

“I… I see her,” You whispered, your eyes fixed on Leah the whole time.

“It won’t be long now,” Lia kept her tone of voice gentle which is exactly what you needed right now, “Any minute now your Mum and Auntie Kimmy are going to lift the trophy, and then you can go see her, okay?”

You gave the tiniest of nods in response, flailing in Lia’s grip as you anticipated the wait for Leah and Kim to lift the trophy, but that still didn't stop you wanting to be with Leah, "I want my Mum," Your voice was barely louder than a whisper.

"I know," Lia murmured, her hand resting gently on your back, "You can soon enough, sweetheart. You're doing so well right now."

Then it was time.

Leah moved towards Kim to grasp the other handle of the gleaming silver trophy. The stadium buzzed with electricity—The two of them lowered the trophy slowly, then lifted it high.

And then everything erupted.

Everyone was jumping up and down, and going mental.

The confetti cannons exploded, showering the air in shimmering gold.

The music pounded loud through your chest.

The bright lights were flashing directly in your eyes.

It was all too much to handle.

You flinched violently and your whole body tensed up, everything felt completely overwhelming to you right now.

“T… Too loud,” You cried, shaking your head desperately as your hands automatically flew to your ears, “Too loud. Too bright. I… I don’t like it, I don’t. Make it… Make it stop.”

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re alright, sweetheart,” Lia said swiftly, turning your body away from the stage and lowering you slightly, trying to shield you.

But you weren’t interested in any of that right now.

You wanted Leah.

Determined to reach her, you twisted free, and ignored the shouts of your name and hands trying to hold you back. You ducked under arms and wove through the crowd, “Mum!” You called aloud in a panic, your voice cracking as you got closer to her, “Mum!” You repeated, gripping onto Leah’s arm like it was your lifeline, tugging hard with both hands.

“Hey, my girl,” Leah said softly, dropping the trophy’s handle and bending down to scoop you into her arms without hesitation, “You’re okay. It’s alright, I’m here. I’ve got you now.”

“D… Don’t like it. Too… Too loud,” You crumpled your face up in protest, panic wild in your chest, “I… I don’t like it. Make… Make it stop, Mum, please!”

“You’re okay, I’ve got you now,” Leah whispered, pressing you close to her, “I know it seems a lot, but it’s okay. You’re going to be alright.”

“Mummy! Mummy! Monks!” You heard the familiar voice of your favourite little buddy running straight towards you and Leah, as Leah continued to have her arm wrapped around your shoulder, “Mummy! Monks!”

The post match celebrations were still in full swing as the players' families joined everyone on the pitch to continue the celebrations.

“Oh! Here comes trouble!” Leah teased in a light tone of voice, “Incoming!”

Buddy came sprinting onto the pitch as fast as her little legs could carry her while Jacob was hot on her heels, running after her slightly out of breath but grinning all the same. Amanda followed shortly after, cradling Rugrat against her chest once it was safe to step onto the pitch. Elle and David were also there—Elle was decked in an Arsenal 24/25 home top with Williamson on the back, and David…

You had to be a double take.

David was wearing an Arsenal top.

He was a lifelong Spurs fan in a rivals top.

Now that was pretty funny.

“Ooh, there’s my little Bubba,” Leah cooed, immediately bending down and scooping Buddy up into her arms and showering her face with kisses, “Hi! Did you enjoy the game?”

“Uh-huh! It was sooo fun!” Buddy insisted, her giggles infectious as she was in Leah’s arms.

“She barely sat still at all through the second half,” Jacob teased, leaning forward to ruffle Buddy’s hair, “Itching to get down here to you both, weren’t you, munchkin?”

Leah chuckled, adjusting her hold on Buddy on her hip, “Oh, I can imagine so. I thought you were sitting with your Mama, huh? Didn’t fancy staying put?”

“She was determined to make Jordan come and find us during half time,” Amanda filled her daughter in, using her free arm to wrap around Leah’s shoulder and congratulate her, “Well done, Bubba. We’re all so proud of you!”

“Thanks, Mum,” Leah beamed a wide smile.

“I think this little madam wants a cuddle,” Amanda motioned down to the baby in her arms, “You want to take her?”

“Course I do,” Leah murmured, carefully trading arms to easily take Rugrat from Amanda, “Ooh, hi baby girl. How’re you doin? Oh, I missed you!”

You stood there beside her with the medal heavy around your neck and your heart hurting a little heavier.

“Mummy! Mummy! Stina scored!” Buddy chirped, almost like she completely forgot that Leah was actually playing in the game herself, “She shooted! She scored! Everyone was screaming!”

“She did, didn’t she? It was very impressive,” Leah grinned, brushing back sweaty strands of Buddy’s hair from her forehead, “I’m glad you liked it!”

Buddy stared at the gold medal around Leah’s neck curiously, “Can I wear ‘our medal, Mummy?”

“Of course, Bubba,” Leah smiled, taking the gold medal from around her neck and gently settling it over Buddy’s head, “Be careful, though. It’s quite heavy!”

Buddy gasped loud and dramatically, “Woah!” She whispered reverently, clutching the medal in both hands like it was the most precious thing in the world she had ever held., “It so shiny! It mine?“

Leah let out a laugh, shaking her head, “No, Bubba, it’s mine but you can borrow it for now.”

Amanda turned to you, arms opening wide, “C’mere you,” She gave you a warm and kind smile, “I’m so proud of you as well, sweetheart!”

“Why?” You furrowed your eyebrows, “I didn’t barely do nuffin’!”

“You still played a part in your team though and that’s what matters,” Amanda told you honestly, pulling you tighter in her embrace, “You’re a Champion of Europe, sweetheart. At twenty years old. How does that feel?”

“Surreal,” You murmured, your eyes landing on your shiny gold medal, “It feels like a dream right now, Nana ‘Manda.”

“Then soak it up,” Amanda retorted, pressing a gentle kiss on the side of your temple, “This is one of those forever memories.”

“Aye! Look at you, superstar!” Jacob grinned, throwing his arm playfully around your shoulder, “That gold medal around your neck suits you, Monks’!”

“Thanks!” You beamed a smile, your fingers fumbling with the cool gold in her hands, “You’re not borrowing it, though. It’s mine!”

Jacob held up his hands in mock surrender, “Relax, I wouldn’t dare dream of taking it from you,” He paused, “Oi, take a look at this. What’d you make of this then?” He motioned to David wearing an Arsenal shirt with Williamson on the back.

“Grandad!” You exclaimed as you smirked, the sight of him in red and white was too good to ignore, “I can’t believe Mum actually made you wear that!”

David let out a hearty chuckle, pulling you into a side hug, “A bet’s a bet, sweetheart. Arsenal made it the final, didn’t they?”

“And we won it,” You added, smugly.

“And won it,” David echoed, giving your shoulder a squeeze, “I’m so proud of you. Even if wearing this shirt has ruined my reputation.”

Before you could reply, you heard a familiar voice shout your nickname from just behind, “Monkey!”

Your head snapped round in an instant, “Mama!” You ran towards her and throw yourself in her arms as she caught you with ease and held you close.

“Ooh, I am so, so proud of you, little one!” Jordan murmured, against your hair, swaying you  gently from side to side, “Look at you, with that gold medal wrapped around your neck! You’re a little baller!”

You buried your face into her shoulder and clung tighter, “Did you see me, Mama? I… I played. Just at the end, but I played!”

“I saw every second, little one. You were brilliant,” Jordan kissed your temple, “I knew you’d be amazing in the game. I just wish I could’ve—” She stopped herself, but you’d already heard the crack in her voice as her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes.

You pulled back slightly to peer at her face, “You’re sad?”

“No sweetheart,” Jordan blinked to try and keep the tears at bay, “I’m so proud of you today. And nothing else other than that matters!”

“No, Mama,” You interrupted, brushing your thumb against her cheek just like Leah or Jordan always did the same when you were upset, “I know how much you wanted to be a part of it too.”

Jordan didn’t reply straight away, she kept her hands steady around your waist but you could feel the slightest tremor in her breath and she nodded, “I… I did, but like I said, it’s your day. I’m just glad to be here, for you. You won, little one. You’re a European Champion. That’s incredibly special and I’m so proud of you!”

“I love you, Mama,” You mumbled, resting your forehead against hers, “I’m glad you were here as well!”

Jordan smiled, her eyes filled with tears as she hugged you tighter, “I love you so much, Monkey.”

“Oi!” You heard the unmistakable voice of Alex, “Don’t hog all the cuddles with our little superstar now, Jord!”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, Al,” Jordan chuckled, placing you back down on the ground and kissing the top of your head, “She’s all yours now.”

“Auntie Al!” You squealed, running straight over to her for a hug and jumping into her arms.

“Ooh! Ello’ there, stargirl!” Alex grinned as she caught you with ease, spinning you around just a bit, “How’re you doing?”

But your attention faltered as you clocked the woman standing beside her.

“Omg! You’re Jess Glynne!” Your jaw dropped in sudden starstruck, “Auntie Al, look… look, it’s Jess Glynne!”

Jess laughed, brushing her curls back with an easy grin, “That’d be me.”

“Ohmygodohmygodohmygod,” You mumbled, suddenly becoming shy and hiding your face in Alex’s shoulder.

 “Our Monkey here is a big fan,” Alex told her with a grin, “She absolutely loves your music.”

“You are?” Jess replied warmly, crouching a little to your level, “You alright, sweetheart?”

You're in a complete state of shock still as you peeked out and shyly nodded, “I… Wow! You’re amazing!”

Jess laughed gently, “So are you from what I can tell. Proper little wonderkid, aren’t you?”

“Wow,” You whispered, still in a state of shock, “I… I can’t believe you’re here! Wow… Auntie Al, look, look!”

“I know, pretty incredible isn’t it?” Alex laughed, ruffling your hair, “C’mon superstar, how about we go and see your Mum? I reckon we need to get a photo of you three all together.”

“Okay!” You exclaimed eagerly, your heart still thumping in your chest as Alex placed you back down on the floor with ease, so you could run over to Leah, “Mum! Mum! Look, it’s Jess… Jess Glynne! And she’s with Auntie Al!”

Leah turned at the sound of your voice with a wide, proud grin on her face before putting Buddy down and gently handing Rugrat to Amanda before jumping up and down a bit before throwing both of her arms around Alex, “Al!”

“Congratulations, girl!” Alex beamed, throwing both of her arms around Leah, “I am so bloody proud of you! Well done! You smashed it!”

“I told you… I told you I believed in magic,” Leah murmured, squeezing her best friend tight, “I told you, and we did it. We really did it!”

Alex let out a soft laugh, pulling back just enough to see her face, “You really did say that, didn’t you?”

Before Leah could answer, a little voice piped up behind them.

“Auntie Al! Auntie Al!” Buddy squealed, running over and wrapping her arms around Alex’s lower legs and peering up with an innocent smile, “Ou’ ‘ere!”

“Hello, little legs! How’re you doin’?” Alex leaned down to swoop Buddy up into her arms, “What’ve you got there then?”

“Mummy’s medal!” Buddy declared proudly, holding the medal high like a trophy, “Mummy said I could ‘ave it!”

Leah raised an eyebrow with an amused sigh, “No I didn’t, Bubba. I said you could borrow it to wear.”

“Nooo!” Buddy clutched it tighter, completely unfazed,  “I like it do. It mine now!”

“Oof, she’s definitely got your stubborn streak,” Alex laughed, pressing a kiss to Buddy’s cheek.

“Apparently so,” Leah replied with a smile, already reaching for her again, “Conned me out my own medal now as well.”

“Mum! Mum!” You burst in, practically bouncing with excitement, “Looky! It’s actually Jess Glynne! From the Jet2 advert!”

That comment had everyone laughing in hysterics.

You turned to the red-headed singer with wide, sparkling eyes, “Are you real?” You asked in awe before boldly reaching out and poking her arm, “You are real!”

“Oh, Monkey. Never change,” Jordan grinned, clearly entertained.

“You’ve met her before, sweetheart,” Leah reminded gently, “You know who she is.”

“Nah, I ain’t. I would’ve remembered!” You insisted, shaking your head furiously.

“Yeah? Are you sure about that?” Alex teased, grinning, “I seem to recall a certain photo of you snoozing on her shoulder after that late dinner we had.”

“No, no, no—Wait!” Your eyes went as wide as saucers, “That was you?! God, that’s so embarrassing! You’re like… So cool!”

Jess laughed, “It’s true. Your head was on my shoulder, out like a light. Proper little nap queen.”

“Noooo! No way! God, that’s… mortifying!” You threw your hands over your face and dragged your hands down, “Stop! Stop! I don’t wanna hear nuffin’ more ‘bout it!”

“Alright,” Amanda interrupted with a smile, “How about we take some pictures before our Monkey here actually combusts?”

“Sounds great, Mum!” Leah grinned, throwing her arm proudly over your shoulder.

“Fire one with Monkey in the middle, and Leah and Jordan on either side,” Amanda suggested, “Then one with Monkey and Leah, and Monkey and Jordan.”

“Perfect, and then we’ll get one with all the kiddies!” Alex added, already arranging people like a pro.

You posed between Leah and Jordan, both of them grinning proudly, arms around your waist while you hugged them both tightly. 

Followed by another one with just Leah behind you, arms wrapped around your middle, and another one with Jordan pulling you close and planting a kiss on your forehead right as the shutter clicked.

“Right, let’s get Buddy and Rugrat in the next one,” Alex instructed, “Leah, you take Rugrat, and Monkey… You stand in the middle. Leah to her left. Jordan to the right. Buddy, you stand in front of your Mama. Perfect. Everyone ready?”

“Can we just get it over with?” You grumbled, shifting your weight.

“Big smiles! Say cheese!” Jess called out carefully.

“CHEEEEESE!” Buddy shouted, flashing her toothy grin—complete with the missing ones—and still proudly wearing Leah’s medal.

“Ah, that’s lovely,” Alex smiled, taking the picture, “Okay I think we should have one with Buddy and Monkey.”

“Urgh, not another photo!” You groaned, tilting your head back dramatically.

“Just stand there and smile with your little sister,” Leah encouraged, chuckling, “It’ll be over soon enough!”

“Urgh, whatever,” You huffed, resisting the urge to roll your eyes.

“Ready? Big smiles, and say cheese!” Alex insisted, ready to take the photo, along with the rest of the adults capturing the photo.

“Crackers,” You joked, crouching beside Buddy and smiling at the camera, while Buddy clung her arms around your neck and toothy grinned.

“Oh, that one’s definitely becoming my new lock screen,” Jordan insisted.

“And mine,” Leah added, bouncing Rurgat gently on her chest while the tiny baby looked up at her with bright, curious eyes, “Hi, angel. You’re finally awake, huh? Didn’t want to miss out on the fun?”

“Right I think we should have one now with just the kiddies,” Alex suggested with a keen smile, “Monkey, if you can hold Rugrat—”

You tensed, and Leah automatically felt it.

“Al, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Leah interjected quickly.

“Right, right, no worries,” Alex pivoted smoothly, “Okay, grandparents next, step up! I reckon that we do one with the grandparents and grandkids, and then one with Monkey and the grandparents.”

“Dad, do you want to hold Rugrat?” Leah offered, gently transferring the alert six-week-old into David’s arms.

“Of course,” David agreed warmly, settling Rugrat against his chest, “Come here, little one. Come to Grandad. You’ve very wide awake, aren’t you? Don’t worry, you’re not missing much.”

“Amanda, you take Buddy, and Monkey can stand in the middle,” Alex directed, “Alright, everyone ready? Big smiles!”

“CHEEEESE!” Buddy squealed, while you offered the camera a much more reluctant smirk.

“Lovely,” Alex praised, “Now let’s grab one with just Monkey and the grandparents.”

“How many more photos?” You groaned, tilting your head back in exaggerated despair, “I’m so over this!”

“Don’t pretend you don’t love it,” Jordan teased, “Now go on, stand there and smile for a picture with your Nana and Grandad.”

After a few more reluctant photo with your family—Leah and Amanda proudly lifting the trophy, Leah and David laughing in the moment, you tucked under Alex’s arm, then you squeezed between her and Leah, another shot with Jess pulling faces beside Alex, and finally Jordan crouched beside Buddy and you as Buddy beamed and held up Leah’s medal—you were completely spent.

“Can we be done now?” You complained for what felt like the hundredth time in the span of the time you’d been taking photos, “I’m bored!”

“Yeah, we’re done,” Leah chuckled, looping her arm around your shoulder, “We’re going to go in now and join the rest of the team, yeah?”

“Finally,” You muttered, sagging against her side.

“Buddy, can Mummy have her medal back?” Leah asked gently.

“It mine,” Buddy declared firmly, clutching it tighter to her chest, “No ‘ours!”

“Bubba, Mummy needs it for now, okay?” Leah kept her voice gentle, crouching down the 4-year-old’s height, “You’ve done a really good job holding onto it for me though, and I’m so proud of you!”

“Fine,” Buddy huffed, reluctantly allowing Leah to take it from around her neck, “I come in der wif ‘ou?”

“I’m afraid you can’t, Bubba,” Leah told her honestly, “But we’re going to see you at the party. Okay? You just need to stay with Mama and everyone else for now, alright?”

Buddy wasn’t so keen on the idea of that, pouting and crossing her arms over her chest, “I come wif ‘ou, Mummy! I no wan’ stay wif Mama!”

“Hey, Buddy!” Jacob swooped in just at the right moment, crouching beside your favourite little buddy, “How about me and you kick a ball about on the pitch, yeah?”

“... Otay!” Buddy hesitated to agree.

“Thanks, J,” Leah thanked the lad, patting him on the shoulder before Jacob ran with Buddy to find the nearest football to kick, turning to face the rest of your family,“We’ll see you all at the party in a bit.”

“Peace out!” You stated, starting to head down into the tunnel.

Leah laughed, giving you a slight nudge, “Come on, my girl. Let’s go join the chaos in the changing room, yeah?”

The second you stepped through the doors of the changing room, the chaos hit you full force.

It was boiling, loud and completely unhinged. There were wet footprints streaking across the floor, half the squad was in various stages of kit and champagne-soaked victory shirts, and someone was already blaring music from a speaker someone had smuggled in.

You barely made it three steps before someone shoved a drink into your hand—something fizzy and most definitely dangerous and far too strong.

You blinked at it, sniffed it and took a cautious sip, “Oh… It’s strong,” You said, and then took another sip.

And then another.

And that was all it took.

You were an absolute lightweight when it came to drinking.

Within minutes, you were red-cheeked, starry-eyes and absolutely buzzing. A complete livewire. The shy kid from an hour ago was long gone. Replaced by something wild and gleeful and just a little bit dangerous.

Leah watched you guzzle half of your drink and raised a brow, “Steady on there, my girl.”

“Muuuum, leave it out. I’m havin’ fun!” You declared promptly, not wasting time to have another drink, “I’m buzzin’!”

Leah laughed, shaking her head and deciding to just let you have all the fun you wanted, “Alright then, baby. Just be careful not to break anything.”

You had no such intentions to do anything like that.

Kyra was the first one to rope you in and drag you by your wrist towards the crowded group screaming the lyrics to Stina’s chant, bouncing up and down fueled by the alcohol in everyone’s systems.

“Stina Stina Stina Stina Stina Blackstenius!” You screamed along with them, shrieking with laughter as Katie tackled you to the floor mid-chorus and slid with you across the champagne-soaked floor.

“Watch out!” You warned with barely any time before you crashed dramatically into Leah’s legs, grinning up at her innocently, “Hi, Muuuuuuum!”

“Hi, sweetheart,” Leah chuckled, patting your hair before proceeding to have another drink of her own, “Are you having fun?”

“Tons of it!” You insisted, grinning at her cheekily and breathless, scrambling up to get off the floor, “I don’t ever want this night to end!”

“Plenty of time still, kid!” Steph chimed in, ruffling your hair as she directly handed you a heineken bottle to swig, “Ave’ at it!”

You frowned while pouting at the bottle, “What am I supposed to do with it?”

“Shake it and spray it everywhere,” Beth encouraged, finally joining in on the chaos after she had the unfortunate luck of having to dope after the game instead of joining in on the celebration, “Go wild, Monkey!”

So you just did what anyone would do—pop open the cork and spray it everywhere.

You shrieked in delight as it foamed over your hands, pointing it upward like a fountain and soaking Alessia’s hair and earning a scandalised scream from her.

“Monkey!” The blonde exclaimed in shock-horror before proceeding to tackle you into a headlock, “I’ll get you back you little menace!”

“Right, girls! Picture! Picture!” One of the assistant coaches insisted, gesturing to you all to come together for a group photo, “Come on! Picture time!”

“Urgh! Not again!” You whined in complaint with an exaggerated eye roll, but you still dragged yourself into the clump of girls, tucking yourself neatly in front of Leah as everyone crowded around the trophy. You leaned back into her, your drink still sloshing in one hand, medal swinging from your cheek while your cheeks were pink from all the shouting and Heineken.

The phone was snapped just as you were mid-complaint.

“Hey! You got me bad side!” You grumbled, mock-scowling at the poor assistant holding the phone. You weren’t really mad honestly, and you didn’t have time to keep sulking because the opening notes of another iconic anthem suddenly boomed through the speaker.

Your whole face lit up in glee.

“ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY! EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY!” You shrieked at full volume, pointing in random directions with a whole lot of energy.

“Sing it, little lady!” Katie whooped, charging over and before you could even run, grabbing you around the waist and hoisting you clean off the floor.

You squealed as she spun you around in dizzy circles with your arms flailing and hair going wild in all different directions, your shrieks of laughter echoing off the wall as Leah took the opportunity to capture the whole thing on a video.

You didn’t care though, you were feeling high on life.

You didn’t ever want this moment to end, and you were going to make sure absolutely everybody knew about it.

“Let’s party it up, bitchessss!” You yelled, stumbling into the afterparty with Katie, who had the trophy held proudly above her head, “I’m ready t drink and have a good fuckin’ time!”

“Monkey,” Leah warned softly from behind, walking beside Laia as the room erupted into cheers, “Reign it in a bit, please.”

“What?” You grinned, head cocking to the side, arms flung out like you were embracing the world, “I’m livin’ my best life right now! Woohoo—Buddy! There you are!”

“Monks’!” Your favourite little buddy squealed in excitement, running straight to you.

“Missed you! Where’ve you been?” You wondered in a drunken state, wrapping both your arms around your little sister, “Are you ready to party? We’re gonna dance the night away!"

“Listen,” Leah said, easily taking Rugrat from Amanda, who was wide eyed and awake amongst the chaos in the room, “You can tonight Just be sensible, okay? Know your limits.”

You huffed, exaggerating an eye roll, “Don’t worry, Mum. I’ll be fine!” You insisted, sparing a glance at the six-week-old infant, “What’s she doin’ here? I don’t like her!”

You didn’t wait around for an answer before pulling Buddy towards the dance floor, trying to not think about the baby in Leah’s arms.

“Has she eaten much?” Alessia asked quietly, eyeing you with mild concern.

“If three bags of crisps and a jelly pot count, then sure,” Steph mumbled, shaking her head.

Alessia winced, “She’s a proper lightweight.”

“I fear it’s already gone to her head,” Beth chimed in, watching you start to bounce around the room high from the energy and alcohol.

“LET’S FUCKIN PAAAAAARTY!” You shrieked, vibrantly as you threw your free arm around Kyra while holding Buddy on your hip, ”Buddy! What’re we sayin’? North London Forever?”

“Uh-huh! I like dat one!” Buddy nodded excitedly in your arms.

“Let’s gooooo!” Kyra added, just as excited with alcohol in her system.

“Aye, Jess Glynne!” You spotted the red-hair in the distance of the room, walking over to her, “What’re you doin’ here? Ooo! Ooo! Can we sing a song?”

“Down, Monks’!” Buddy insisted, trying to wriggle free in your arms.

“Spoil sport,” You mumbled, reluctantly putting her down as she toddled over to Jordan.

“Hello again, troublemaker. You seem a bit drunk there,” Jess smiled, amused, “We can sing a song together if you would like that.”

“Auntie Al! Auntie Al!” You squealed, excitedly stumbling towards Alex, “I get to sing a song with Jess Glynne! So cool!”

“Oh good lord,” Alex muttered, catching your arm before you tripped, “That is pretty cool. How many have you had to drink now?”

“Eh, not a lot,” You carelessly shrugged your shoulders,” I’m only a bit tipsy. I can still walk in a straight line… kinda!”

“What’ve you even been drinking to get in this state?” Jordan wondered, watching in concern as she handed Buddy a cake bar.

You stumbled around, grinning like an idiot, “Lord I don’t know, but it was… pretty fuckin’ good, Mama!”

Jordan arched an eyebrow, turning to look at her ex girlfriend, “Leah, what have you been giving her to be in this state?”

“I had nothing to do with giving her anything,” Leah chimed in, swaying a wide awake Rugrat in her arms, “If anything then blame Katie for that.”

“Typical,” Jordan mumbled,  shaking her head.

“I want some more!” You exclaimed, swinging your arms about in the air, “Gimme! Gimme!”

“Oh my God,” Jordan mumbled, rubbing her temple, “I can’t believe she’s already in this state. I have a good piece of mind to go and have a word with Katie over this.”

You didn’t waste time lingering around as you heard the opening tune of one of Jess Glynne’s songs, “Oh my God, I loooooove this song!”

“Monkey, do you want to come up here and sing a song with me?” Jess called you over from the DJ booth, motioning you to join her.

“Can I?” Your eyes lit up in excitement, “Let’s fucking goooooo!”

“Monkey swore!” Buddy gasped in realisation, glancing between Leah and Jordan, “Dat not allowed!”

Leah hummed, brushing a strand of hair out of Buddy’s face, “She did, and you’re not to repeat it either, alright?”

“You got it dude,” Buddy responded with a thumbs up, “Can I go an’ dance wif Auntie Wally?”

“Go for it, little ‘un,” Jordan chuckled, waving her hand off in the direction of where Lia is dancing with Mario, “Have fun!”

You were having a wail of a time up on stage, performing with Jess Glynne as cameras were out and everyone was filming the performance.

“Thank you! Thank you!” You joked, staggering down off the stage as you searched for another alcoholic beverage, “Thank you very much!”

“What a performance that was, Monkey,” Elle let out a low whistle.

“I think you need to slow down on the drinks, sweetheart,” Amanda said in concern, noting the way you were stumbling all over the place, “Why don’t you drink some water?”

“Pft, I’m fine! I’ve only had… three,” You struggled to remember, trying to count on your fingers, “... I think?”

Jacob snickered, “You think?”

“I’ve told her to just be sensible, and I’m keeping an eye on her to make sure she doesn’t go too wild,” Leah informed her family, sitting down on a chair as she was mid-feeding Rugrat a bottle.

“Heh, check it out. I got a blue tongue!” You exclaimed, sticking your tongue out in front of your own phone, “I like that!”

“How’ve you managed to get a blue tongue?” Beth laughed, amused with your current antics as she now had a fast asleep Phoebe cradled to her chest, “What’ve you been drinking to get that?”

“I dunno, but it tastes like victory!” You exclaimed, bobbing up and down with your medal around your neck, “Yeeeehaw!”

“Oh, she’s pissed for sure,” Jacob grinned in amusement.

“Here, Monkey, have another one,” Katie encouraged, shoving a drink into your hand much to the disagreement of your family.

“Katie no,” Jordan eyed the drink in your hand but it was too late as you were already drinking it, “Remember to get her to drink some water, Monkey.”

“Oh looky out, the fun police have arrived!” You exclaimed, rolling your eyes as you neck back the rest of the drink that you were handed, “Boooo!”

“Logan,” Leah gave you a warning look, “Stop being rude and drink some water, please.”

You groaned, tilting your head back for dramatic effect, “I don’t want any water. I wanna drink more! We’re champions, baby!”

“Dance wif me, Monks’! Dance wif me!” Buddy insists, holding her arms out for you to take and spin her around, “Dance wif me! Spin me ‘round!”

You did as Buddy requested, taking her hands, dancing and spinning around with her as her giggles became infectious, “Ready for me to catch you, Buddy? Ready?” You picked her up and held her high in the air, trying your hardest not to stumble in your step.

“Logan Reece!” Leah’s voice cut in, sharp, “Don’t you bloody dare think about throwing your sister in the air!” She shouted across the room, quickly getting your attention.

You pouted while you placed Buddy gently back down on the dance floor, “But she likes it…”

“Absolutely not!” Leah was quick in her stride to pass Rugrat over to David now she was done burping her and storm over to where you was, “You don’t ever think about doing that, especially when your three sheets to the wind!”

“You’re overreacting a tad there, Mum,” You groaned, rolling your eyes in exaggeration as you proceeded to climb on top of a stray table and hold your arms out like you were in a scene from Titanic.

Leah was still not letting up, “Get down off the bloody table right now, young lady!”

“Ooo, young lady. You’re in trouble now!” Kyra teased, not realising the seriousness of it at all.

“Down,” Leah didn’t wait around for you to get down before proceeding to lift you off the table herself, “Come with me, you’re going to drink some water before you end up injuring yourself!”

“Do I hafta?” You huffed in protest, “M’ only havin’ a good time!” You swooped up a random drink from a table and took a swig.

Leah scoffed, “A good time? It’s a bit more than that,” She paused, taking the alcohol away from you, “No more drinking until you’ve drank some water, my girl.”

“Oi, that’s mine!” You scowled, not happy with that decision of Leah stealing your alcohol, “Give it back! Thief!”

Your words did little to phase Leah as she retrieved a bottle of water and handed it to you, “Here, water. Drink it now,” She instructed, “I’m your Mum, I care about you and I don’t mind you drinking tonight, we’re celebrating but I want you to be safe. At this rate you’re going to fall asleep on the floor by the DJ booth.”

“I don’t wanna drink water,” You grumbled, reluctant to crack open the bottle of water in your hands, “I wanna party!”

“You’re not drinking anymore alcohol until you’ve drunk some water first,” Leah stood form on her decision.

You groaned in disagreement, “Muuuuuum, I’m twenny now. You can’t just—”

“You live under my roof,” Leah swiftly cut you off with a firm look, “I can, and I will.”

“That’s fuckin’ bullshit!” You swore directly at her without even thinking twice about it.

“She swore! Monkey said the F word!” Buddy shouted mid-twirl as she danced with Rory.

“That’s naughty,” Rory added, gasping.

“She did, and she shouldn’t have,” Jordan said, exhaling a sigh, “No one’s saying the F word anymore tonight, alright?”

“Cept me!” You declared proudly, jumping back up on the table, “I’M A FOOKIN’ CHAMPION OF EUROPE! THE ONLY IN THE LAND!”

“Right. Off the table. Now!” Leah barked.

“Bah humbug,” You pouted, wobbling slightly, “I’m celebratin’! Leave me ‘lone!”

“Monkey, don’t think I won’t throw you over my shoulder,” Leah warned, resting her hands on her hips and giving that look that you were all too familiar with.

You scoffed, rolling your eyes and continuing to dance on the table, “Pft, whatever. I’m fine—”

“I don’t care if you’re fine or not, drink this water now,” Leah told you firmly, “Either you drink it, or you’re cut off for the rest of the night, alright?”

“Ugh, fine, whatever…. Captain Buzzkill,” You sloppily gulped it down, then shoved the bottle back, “There, done. Can I go back to drinking and partying now?”

 “Sure, just be careful, alright?” Leah stated firmly, exhaling a sigh with a feeling that she wasn’t getting through to you at all.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, buh-bye now!” You waved cheekily before continuing to dance and have the time of your life.

“God, she’s going to be an absolute pain to deal with tomorrow,” Alex winced, witnessing your antics for herself, “I wish you luck.”

“And she’s gonna have a horrific hangover,” Jordan added.

Elle frowned in sympathy, “She’s definitely going to feel it. Are you going to be alright dealing with her tomorrow, babe?”

“It’s not like I have a choice,” Leah laughed faintly, admiring Jordan coo over Rugrat in her arms, “At least we’ve got a good while until Buddy or Rugrat are like this, and it’s not every day that you’re a champion of Europe. Just let her have this one.”

You were having a time of your life living it high and dancing around on the dance floor with your teammates, “Oi, Buddy. C’mere!” You shouted over to your favourite little buddy.

“Monks! Monks!” Buddy shouted, running up to you with wild and sweaty curls while Rory continued to dance with Lia and Mariona, “Come dance wif us!”

You grinned, reaching forward to ruffle Buddy’s hair, “I will! I’m just having some… juice,” You weren’t sure how to word it.

Buddy scrunched her face up in disinterest, “Dat no’ like juice, dat smells funny an’ so strong! Ew!”

“Sure it is,” You waved your hand off, going to hand your little sister the drink over without even thinking twice about it, “Think of it like… apple juice, or summit.”

Before you can even properly hand the drink to Buddy, it’s quickly swept away by Steph, “Jesus! Monkey, what the hell are you doin’? Are you out of your mind right now?!”

You blinked, suddenly startled, “... I was only givin’ her a small sip.”

“She’s four, Monkey!” Steph shouted, “This isn’t a drink you can give to your sister!”

“You… You just told me off!” You mumbled, your bottom lip starting to wobble, “You can’t do that!”

“Yes, I did and I can when you’re putting your four year old sister in danger!” Steph shot back, furious that you even attempted to do such a thing like that.

“Muuuuum!” You barrelled into Leah, throwing your arms around her neck and plonking yourself on her lap, “Tell her she can’t shout at me!”

“Oof, Monkey,” Leah let out a groan, startled by your sudden appearance as she chatted with Elle, “What’s the matter, baby?”

“Auntie Stephy just shouted at me!” You proceed to shout, clinging your arms around her neck, “Tell her she can’t… Tell her she can’t do that!”

Leah’s brow was furrowed, “What? Why? What’s happened?”

“I… I don’t know,” You mumbled, burying your head in her neck to try and shelter from it. You weren’t that keen to tell Leah what happened knowing you’d definitely be in trouble for it.

“Steph?” Leah glanced at the Australian women, “Why did you shout at my kid? You have no right to do that!”

“Le, before you go off on one you need to understand that I found Monkey trying to give Buddy alcohol,” Steph explained, cautiously, “I think it might’ve been vodka.”

Leah’s eyes were high in alert, “Vodka?!” She  exclaimed, gazing at you disapprovingly.

“... I thought she might like it,” You told her, innocently and hopeful that Leah wouldn’t go absolutely nuts about it.

“Right,” Leah exhaled a dangerously calm breath, pinching her nose, “Bed. Now.”

“What? No!” You exclaimed in disbelief, quick to protest against the idea, “Nobody else is going to bed yet! S’ not fair!”

“I don’t care,” Leah shifted you on her lap to start and get up, “You are. You’re done.”

You shoved back, shaking your head in disagreement, “No! I’m a champion of Europe, I don’t need a fuckin’ bedtime!”

“Logan Reece,” Jordan stepped in, sharply and fixing you with a look that made you straighten up instinctively.

Leah turned to her, exhaustion already sinking into her bones, “I’ve got Buddy on the dancefloor with Kyra and Alessia, Rugrat’s dead asleep… Can you—?”

“Yeah,” Jordan said, already reaching out, “I’ll handle her. You stay and enjoy the party. Where’s your room key?”

“Right, yeah, it’s here,” Leah handed it over without hesitation and then leaned down, pressing a kiss to your hair, “You may be twenty, but just so we’re clear, you’re also my daughter. And I’m not going to wait until you’re slurring your words and putting your baby sister in danger to step in. What you did was really silly, Monkey. So now I think it’s best you go with Mama, let her tuck you in, and call it a night, alright? I love you, but bed means bed.”

“I don’t need to go to bed!” You insisted, the alcohol fueling your system as you still stood your ground. 

“When you’re putting your sister in danger and making reckless decisions then you're done,” Jordan cut in, calm but stern, “Now are you going to walk, or am I going to carry you?”

“I’m not partying yet! I still… There’s ages!” You weakly protested, throwing your head back for extra dramatics, “I’m not goin’! You can’t make me!”

“Tough,” Jordan interrupted with her voice still firm, leaning out to take hold of your hand, “You lost that right the minute you tried to pour vodka down your 4 year old sister's throat! Bed, now. Move it.”

“Mamaaaa! I don’t wanna!” You whined in complaint, refusing to take her hand and garing at her, “S’ not fair!”

“Come on, Monkey,” Jordan exhaled a sigh, taking it upon herself to take a hold of your hand, “Time for bed, little one before you say something that you’ll regret.”

“Why’s everyone against me? S’ not fair!” You huffed in a sulk, reluctantly allowing yourself to be dragged through the room,  “Didn’t do nuffin’ wrong!”

“You don’t think so, huh?” Jordan questioned with an arched eyebrow, “I think that we have very different opinions on that now, so come on let’s get you to bed before you cause anymore trouble.”

“I’m a grown up! M’ not goin’ to dumb, stupid bed!” You thrashed around in Jordan’s grasp, “Not fair! I… I don’t wanna!”

Jordan sighed like someone already regretting every life choice that led to this moment, “Okay, champion of Europe. Let’s go. You’re done for the night.”

You pouted, tugging against her arm half-heartedly, “Don’t wanna…” As Leah’s voice cut in just before Jordan could exit the packed room.

“Make sure to brush your teeth, please,” Leah called over the laughter still echoing down the hallway, soft and firm as her arms cradled Rugrat close.

You turned with a defiant glare that didn’t quite land, “You brush your teeth!”

Leah smiled with deliberate patience as she shared a subtle look with Jordan before Jordan continued to tug you in the direction of your hotel room that you shared with Leah.

“Come on, little one,” Jordan mumbled, realising it was too late to disagree with handling things now.

The door clicked shut.

Somewhere down the hall, someone was already filming.

When you’re a champion of Europe, but you still have a bedtime.

The TikTok edit practically made itself.

© scribblesofagoonerr

If you like this then please leave you support and leave me a tip 🫶🏼

[miwiheroes]

Day 38: Something's Not Adding Up...

Remember, the analysis posts where they have "Day 35 etc etc" are going to be going on my byler slides

So my last byler slides post on here was to do with the lightning flashes and the imagery created from El being in the UD. I am going to be continuing to make posts on the love monologue from here on out its going to be...interesting as there is just soooo much to unpack. Today's is going to be about the fact there are lots of things that Mike says in the monologue that don't add up. There were so many other words that the Duffers could have written into the monologue to make it more convincing, but they didn't.

Straight off the bat, some people might not be convinced that Mike is lying in the first place and never will be. Unfortunately for you, one of the main themes in Season 4 is lying. SO many characters lie to each other at every single turn. However, this theme is especially very very present in the Willelmike love triangle. Lying isn't so much a theme during El's lab storyline, on her part, but whenever she's associated with the love triangle's storyline, she is associated with that theme.

Every single character in the love triangle is lying about something, and they do these things during monologues:

El lies about her life in Lenora during her letter monologue.

Will lies about his feelings towards Mike being El's in his painting monologue.

Mike lies about how he feels towards El in his love monologue.

Another main theme in Season 4 is the fact that they don't win. It was a shock for the audience when they weren't necessarily successful and didn't kill the Big Bad, just like the other seasons. Many things were unsuccessful and unsatisfying. Max's heart stops despite her fighting so hard. This theme can clearly be seen in all the monologues near the end of the show.

Funnily enough, all the monologues' aims are unsatisfying in the end because of the lies in them:

El's lies are found out and then cause her and Mike to have a huge fight.

Will's lies and self-sacrifice and his words about Mike being the heart means that he (in his mind) loses Mike to El forever.

Mike's lies means that 4 gates open in Hawkins because Max's heart stopped.

And this makes total sense because the show's main mantra is literally: Friends don't lie. Meaning lies = bad, yeah

This is the rule of three in action. There is a clear rule of three seen from the fact they are all monologues, from each person in the triangle. Meaning they all need to follow the same pattern. So in this season....Will lies, El lies, Max lies, Lucas lies, Joyce lies and Mike......has no lies? Hm, not likely. So in this season.....Will's lies mean he loses Mike, El's lies are ultimately found out, and Mike's monologue......ends up unsuccessful. But why?

Because he lied.

We've established that due to the themes of the show, the pattern in the monologues, and Season 4's overall theme of them not winning. This just means to me that the love monologue while super important, was not supposed to be wholly truthful and this big positive thing.

Now we can unpack these lies:

The first is obviously the big 'I love you' moment. I would love to talk more about this specific phrase obviously, but I more go into why this is implied to be a negative thing rather than a positive in my other monologue post and my upcoming ones. Without the depth however, I can say that the audience is not supposed to be satisfied when they hear Mike say this. The lightning strikes, Mike's face, the fact Will is behind him in the background, El's face - they all point to that.

To me, this face he makes before saying it not only screams him thinking that he's about to lie, but it screams "i really don't want to do this but i have to otherwise she's going to die." It really feels like something bad is happening rather than something the audience is supposed to want, especially with Will in the background of the shot.

El do you hear me? I love you. I'm sorry I don't say it more. It's not because I'm scared of you. I'm not. I've never felt that way. Never.

Choosing to make him say "I'm sorry I don't say it more".....Hm.

The whole point of El's argument in Episode 3 is that he never says it. Mike then goes onto say "I say it" and El throws the fact that he can't write it in his face, like she thinks it's something that he can't even fake. Not only does he never say it, he never shows it. Just because you can't say it doesn't mean that you can't show it, Mike. That's one of the big reasons why El needs Mike to say it to her - because she just doesn't feel it from him. Ergo, he shouldn't be saying sorry for not saying it more. He should be sorry for not showing it more.

Mike is completely incapable of talking to El directly about anything of the romantic sort, because he knows it's lying, and he doesn't want to feel like he's lying because....that would incriminate himself to himself (if that makes sense). Instead, he tries to perform it to other people, make sure that other people are aware that he has a girilfriend, be more romantic with her in public rather than alone. Byler has many, many scenes by themselves where they have a satisfying intimate moment. In all of Milkvan's one-on-one scenes, Mike either stumbles over his words to refuse to force a romantic moment, just makes out with her, gets interrupted before doing anything satisfying, or argues with her.

The thing about him not being scared of her... I do believe that Mike is not scared of El harming him. He was upset and shocked that she harmed Angela because it went against his idealised version of her, despite her being in the right - this led to him making passive aggressive compliments and ignoring her for the rest of the day. His reactions was enough to remind El of Brenner. Her abusive father figure who was scared of her because he thought she killed these kids violently. This then led to her projecting her anxious attachment towards Brenner onto Mike again - but maybe that's for another post.

But I am scared that one day you're going to realise that you don't need me anymore. And I thought that if I said how I felt it would make that day....Hurt more.

The first sentence is funny because we heard him say something very similar in the van scene, which means that this portion is true. He really wants to be needed. I don't know why, but this rubs me the wrong way. It makes me feel like El just began to attach herself to Mike because she was definitely not independent herself, since he gives her love sometimes and takes it away the next moment. Mike only liking the fact that she needs him is...interesting because he never says that he needs her. Wants her. Loves her? This is just an unequal relationship, as Mike has stated as one of his main insecurities when talking about it with Will.

He just wants El to feel these things that he himself does not. He wants someone to need him. That is how he wants to be loved. But the thing is....El realises that she doesn't need him to say I love you during the lab arc. My next post on the monologue will touch on El's arc more, and the fact that her needing Mike to say I love you was not because she loved him so much and wanted him to say it back. She just wanted to feel like she wasn't a total monster. But then she said to Brenner that she no longer thinks she is. So yes, Mike, she doesn't need you anymore.

But you know who does need Mike? Will. Will loves Mike in the exact way that Mike wants to be loved, which is. not. a coincidence.

But the truth is El I don't know how to live without you. I feel like my life started that day we found you in the woods.

While this sentence is not nice, don't worry, because I do believe one of the main reasons it's there is to make the audience angry. There are so many fucking shots of Will during the monologue, just to remind you of him, to remind you how much this monologue is hurting him, to remind you that these words are only happening because of him. I will be, again, talking more about this in an upcoming post.

Saying I don't know how to live without you is not proof that he loves her. I'm sure you can imagine that why this suggests that their attachment to one another is unhealthy. It is true, that he doesn't know what to do if he loses her, which is exactly why he is saying these things to win her back. Not because he loves her.

The second sentence, again, is very false and codependent as well. Saying that your life depends on someone else....uh. This also contradicts what Mike had said about stumbling on her in the woods not being fate, not being destiny, but dumb luck. Instead of an active choice that he made, just like with Will when he says that meeting him and asking him to be his friend is the best thing he ever did, it's something that he'd never meant to do.

One of the biggest differences between Mike's speech in Season 2 and Mike's speech in Season 4 is the fact that his speech in S2 instantly breaks through to Will, there is no music, it's extremely intimate. When Will says in his Van speech that Mike gives El the courage to fight on, Mike takes that and therefore gains the belief that he is the one that needs to tell her he loves her even if he doesn't, in order for her to fight on. WHEN REALLY it's Will. The proof is in the pudding:

You were wearing that yellow Benny's Burgers T-shirt and it was so big it almost swallowed you whole.

Meaningless line that deadass has no point to it, other than to remind El of a memory that he thinks is good for her. This is the only time that she smiles/laughs a little, before going back to looking upset again. This is so weird - "You were wearing a yellow shirt so I loved you". I could talk about how the colour yellow is so obviously associated with Will, but honestly, I don't know if that's a reach or not.

And I knew right there and then , in that moment, that I loved you. And I've loved you every day since.

And this ladies and germs, is the Biggest Lie. Why did the writers feel the need to have Mike emphasise the fact that he knew. right then and there. in that moment. ?

It's because..... They really wanted us to notice that they were talking about LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT which can be proven wrong by going back and rewatching the show. They really wanted no one to make an excuse and say that maybe Mike didn't actually know then. HE SAID HE KNEW.

"Maybe he just meant a little later." HE SAID RIGHT THERE AND THEN. IN THAT MOMENT.

This is why I believe the writers only put this line in to make the audience actually question the truthfulness of the whole monologue. They could have had Mike easily talk about the moment he fell in love with El. That would have been just as romantic, but no, they made it something to be provably wrong. On purpose.

Now, we have a lot of evidence from the show itself to prove that when Mike met with El, he did not love her instantly:

In the trailer for Season 1, they show Mike finding El. The first thing he says, portraying what his first thoughts were, was "That's not Will." - at the time of making the trailer, the creators had already filmed and written the season. So they knew what they were doing putting this in the trailer.

Mike cared about her and took her in, but was completely ready to prioritise Will instead - he said to Dustin and Lucas that the reason they couldn't show their parents who they had found was because they'd be on house arrest. He then tells them that he can get El to talk to his mom and his mom can "send her back to Pennhurst or wherever she comes from. And tomorrow night, we go back out, and this time, we find Will." This shows that his main priority was finding Will. He's a little careless about El at this point. He emphasises find Will! because he wants to state that he'd never meant to find El.

The next morning, Mike comes down to feed her and then asks her to go to the front and pretend like she's never met him before so that his mom can help her. She refuses. He then realises that she might be in trouble, and when she says there are, that's when he decides to keep her.

From this point onwards, he's somewhat indifferent towards her, showing her around the house, like he's teaching a toddler/ alien life force what his house is like. To me, this is not love. Mike's excitement seems more like friendship, care for another person, or just that he made this scientific discovery. When El points Will's photo - that's when he really takes priority in hiding her and keeping her. The very next scene is him hiding her in the closet (lol) - the scenes are back to back so that you don't need to question whether Mike hides her because he wants to be friends or hides her because he needs her to find Will.

The only time that Mike began to get the idea that his care for El might be romantic is because of Lucas. He was the one to say that he should 'marry her', aka a very heteronormative 80s, nuclear family thing. Mike seems annoyed that Lucas is doing this, but he is genuinely confused - not shy. He seems fed up. The moment after this conversation, he learns that being queer is a bad thing from the bullies, therefore making Lucas's daydream more of a preferable thing. Read more about this here.

Okay so that's some of the evidence from the show, but I guess we don't have to take all of that as complete evidence, because that may be up to interpretation (not really but whatever).

There is some evidence from sources outside the show too:

This is direct evidence from the show's writers that they do not believe in love at first sight - aka why the hell would they write something into the show that they do not believe in?

Above here is where Finn was asked about how 'strong' Milkvan are and about the confession. Keep in mind he was asked about the confession as the last thing. With this, Finn chose to specifically talk about how he didn't forsee himself to be in any kind of romantic relationship - this was something that he was insecure about. Saying romance was not on his mind even initially when he found eleven, is crazy fucking work. This had caused a lot of Milkvan's arguments to change from "Mike said he loved El at first sight!" to "Mike never meant at very first sight, just the next day or something! He was just being hyperbolic!". Girl. He literally said in his speech - Right there, in that moment. It was emphasised to you. Hyperbole would have been: "I knew in that moment that I loved you more than I love life itself" or something. Learn the definition of a hyperbole.

I also love how Finn expresses that Mike's feelings towards El are similar to how Elliott felt towards ET - which was obviously not romantic love. This is Finn explaining away all the seemingly romantic behaviour that Mike has towards her in the beginning of S1. Thankyou for that <3

(Also can we talk about how he said its his first romantic feelings for someone like we get it, he's not going to stay with El.... "going into to s5", "still a couple going into it" - OKAY WE GET IT HEEHEE)

It's so funny because all this fucking evidence I just showed you can be completely made null and void if Mike had simply said something like "I've loved you since *other moment*" "I fell in love with you that week." But no. It was a provable lie.

I love you on your good days I love you on your bad days.

Saying this stuff can't possibly mean he actually shows it. Just saying that you love someone on your good days and bad days doesn't actually mean you do, or that you're showing it. The whole reason that El wants Mike to actually say it is 1. because she needs reassurance that she's not a monster, and 2. because she doesn't feel the love coming from Mike whenever she's having a 'bad day'.

In my opinion, the only reason why he says these things is because he wants her to survive. He thinks this will make her happy because he's remembering what he did wrong - even if it's not true.

Consistently, from Season 1 onwards, he doesn't show that he loves her or consistently shows affection towards her even when she's doing something that he doesn't like:

Season 1: Only shows care for her when she's helping him find Will or saving him with her powers. Says 'What is wrong with you' three times. The first two are when Mike thinks that Will has died and therefore thinks that El lied to him, his anger and sadness mix into this lashing out. He says it again when she attacks Lucas.

Season 2: Has a very idealised version of her due to his guilt and so doesn't think of her as a bad person at all - this then fuels the fact he puts her on a pedestal, therefore making him more likely to take away that love as soon as she doesn't hold up to his standards. He doesn't see her this season until the end.

Season 3: Shows extreme frustration at her behaviour when she breaks up with him. He calls her (and girls in general) a "different species", says that he doesn't understand what he's done to deserve this despite not explaining anything to her, and says that he is the victim in this situation. He believes himself a victim of her wrath or something. This isn't even him lashing out because he's upset or sad, because he seems perfectly happy to have fun with Lucas as if this isn't a serious situation.

Season 4: Oh boy. Again, he has this idealised version of her in his head. Now that she doesn't have powers, El feels the need to perform for him again, making herself seem like she has the perfect life. As soon as she deviates from this perfect image, Mike is cold towards her. He says "what did you do" when she attacks Angela, and this is paralleled within the show with her abusive father figure (hello??). He then ignores her when she is clearly upset, and says rude comments at dinner, not caring when she storms off. He begins to try and apologise, but as soon as he's attacked for his incriminating behaviour he gaslights her by blaming other people for their problems, and calls her ridiculous. Again, he tries to place her on his pedestal that she can't reach by calling her a superhero.

I love you with and without your powers. I love you for exactly who you are. You're my superhero.

The last time that El was called a superhero by Mike, where she realised that she was never going to be enough for him unless she can be of benefit to him:

And the same exact thing in the love confession, though this time, El knows that she is not a monster, knows that she doesn't need Mike to think she's a superhero.

Mike constantly talks about how El is a superhero or his superhero - this just shows that he went from point A in the third episode to.....point A again??? The difference here is the fact that Mike used the fact she's a superhero as 'proof' that he loves her when they first argued in her bedroom, even though he didn't want to say it. Even when he seems to want to tell her i love you, he still uses this excuse as if he needs extra proof.

Another thing about the superhero thing is that it directly contrasts to Will and Mike's dynamic. Mike seems very happy to be working with Will as a team when he talks to him earlier in the season.

He would much rather work with someone as a team than work under them as their inferior. He literally expresses to Will about how insecure he feels surrounding El's superpowers and how he doesn't feel special or needed - and yet he somehow uses this as a reason to love her.

HE HAS SEVERELY POOR SELF-ESTEEM if he is using something that makes him feel worse about himself as proof that he loves her. The big difference between Milkvan and Byler is that Mike is not on the same level as El, so they never work as a team. Mike has expressed his preference for working as a team with Will.

This part of the confession is also very different from the argument scene because he is calling her "MY superhero" rather than just a superhero. This may seem more romantic on the surface, but to me it just proves how much he places her on a pedestal for her powers and how they benefit him and increase her positive image only. The next thing he does is talk about her powers, nothing to do with her personality, nothing to do with her bravery or anything like that. Awful wording from Mike.

And.....I can't lose you. Ok do you hear me I can't lose you.

This....is not a lie. Absolutely not - and that's what makes the rest of the lies so plausible. I don't need to elaborate that much on how attached he feels to El, how much he doesn't want to lose her because he wants to feel needed by someone, as a result of his poor self-esteem. More proof that he's saying all these because he doesn't want her to die, and he feels responsible for her life time and time again.

You can do anything , you can fly you can move mountains I believe that. I really do. But right now you just have to fight.

Wasn't the whole point of El's fucking argument that she can't do anything sometimes!!!! Putting El on a pedestal and claiming that she can actually do things they can't, exaggerating her powers to the point where its unrealistic, will just make El feel bad that she can't do those things. It will make her feel even more that Mike doesn't love her for who she is, but rather the idea of her.

His inflated idea of her is fuelled by the things that she has done for him, which include getting Will back from the Upside Down, it includes her saving him, it includes her defeating the mind flayer. His idea of her became so inflated during Season 2 when he couldn't see her, so much so that when she doesn't live up to that, you can clearly see that he acts cold. This is not love, even if it was, it's not fucking healthy.

Now, this is the point of the monologue where El looks over at Max. Up to this point, the vines have not stopped tightening around her throat, despite Mike trying his best to make her focus.

The fact that they put this image over Mike saying "you need to fight" is to portray El's reason for fighting. It is portraying the fact that the only reason she is able to fight is because she is reminded by the fact Max is in danger, and reminded by Mike that the only thing important right now is that she needs to stay alive.

However you read Mike's sexuality as, it is a fact that his love for El isn't romantic. He cares about her, he has a clear idea of who he wants her to be, and idealises that version. Whenever she doesn't live up to it, he takes it away. Her character arc means that she realises she doesn't need this in order to survive. I hope you can see the sheer amount of lies, vamping, him not wanting her to die, the ideas he has about her and think that they are not healthy.

This was such a long ass post, forgive me tumblr gods.

[bbina]

it was pouring by the time you stepped foot out of zhong inc.

"shit" you curse under your breath, holding your bag above your head as you take a good look between the distance of where you were standing at and the bus stop

thank fucking god that the company's location was just right by a bus stop so you wouldn't have to worry about getting even more drenched

taking a deep breath and mentally preparing yourself, you bolted towards the bus stop with your bag above your head. the same bag that had your work laptop, a bunch of printed decks and a lot more important papers stuffed inside

you let out a big sigh when you reached the bus stop. your clothes were slowly starting to stick with how drenched you were. your hair sticking to your forehead like a wet dog

this is so humiliating almost but this was on you for forgetting an umbrella. in retrospect, you didn't expect to stay this late nor did you expect that it'd rain

but of course chenle had other plans. a surprise team meeting just a little after your call with just do it co. talking about how he wanted to speed the process up a little because production may take a while

you check the time on your watch that reads it was now 11:43 PM

great, you think to youself, only a few more minutes til the last bus arrives

or so you thought.

a loud crackle erupts from the sky, causing you to jump. followed by heavy platters of rain

"you've got to be fucking kidding me" you cursed outloud, closing your eyes in pure disbelief that only shit like this could happen to you. you being borderline stranded at a bus stop near your office

great. just fucking great.

it was already a long day to begin with, juggling two companies to make sure everything is going well even if the partnership just started. you had to relay messages from your end to another company and hope that they get it right the second time because god forbid your boss would scrap everything the last minute just because he didn't feel the new visuals

suddenly a sleek black car pulls up to the bus stop

the windows slowly roll down and lo and behold, your boss, the same man you don't really want to see before the day ends, in all his glory.

chenle

warm and dry in his car while you were still at the bus stop, wet and cold waiting for a damn bus to come pick you up

"get in" he says over the rain, loud enough for you to hear

you blink. once, twice before shaking your head no

"no thank you. i'm taking the bus"

chenle cocks his head to the side, raising an eyebrow. he looks around the empty road then back at you like you just grew a second head

"what bus?"

you purse your lips. gesturing at the bus schedule behind you

"it'll be here soon"

chenle gives you a look that screams 'are you serious right now'

"it's raining. the next bus will probably be here by tomorrow" he points out, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel

"so?"

"so you're just going to wait there?"

"for the last bus to arrive? yes"

"seriously?" chenle deadpans, "just get in" he reaches over to open the passenger door himself

your eyes widened, shaking your head again

"seriously. it's just rain. i can handle myself" you muttered, looking away from chenle hoping and praying that a miracle drives by and a bus actually shows up

"and i'm making sure that my assistant doesn't get sick right off the start of a really important partnership that we just signed. get in the car and i'm not gonna ask twice" chenle says sternly, getting impatient

why were you being so difficult for

"you're carrying the lifeline of this partnership and if that thing gets wet, we have to redo the entire thing and i'm not trying to waste more time" he continues, rubbing his temples. what was so hard about getting in his car anyway under the pouring rain?

"are you seriously threatening me right now over pitch materials?!" you grumbled

"yes i am. don't make me call kun right now since you're being more difficult than hyuck" chenle holds out a menacing finger like that will scare you (kun does scare you a little)

another lightning crackled causing you to jump again. you internally curse yourself for your reaction because now you don't even have a reason to refuse chenle's ride

chenle watches you intently. the way you were starting to shiver and the fact you just jumped off your own skin when the lightning struck. there was no way you were going to say no to his offer now

with a sharp exhale. you surrender

"fine." you murmur, grabbing the straps of your bag tighter around your shoulder as you make your way towards the passenger side of chenle's car and slid in, closing the door behind you immediately

you instantly felt the warmth of the heated leather seats—

"ah shit. your seats—"

"it's fine" chenle cuts you off, shifting the car to drive, "took you long enough to accept my offer"

you fought the urge to roll your eyes. you were in his territory, his car, his space and the fact that he was practically doing you a huge favor

"because i initially didn’t want to" you say, "and i don't want to be indebted to you" you mumbled the last part but chenle catches it and doesn't say anything

after that it was just silent. only the sound of rain pounding against the car as chenle drives onto the highways of seoul

"where do you live?" chenle asks, breaking the silence between the two of you

you wiped your nose with your wet sleeve, not even looking at him when you answer

"you can just drop me off at a convenience store. there's a cu on the way so you can just drop me there. its near"

a moment of silence passes by and you're afraid to look over because this is the same kind of silence he emits when some intern just said the most obvious thing in the world

"are you actually serious right now?" chenle exasperates, now pinching the bridge of his nose

"what? it's near.." you say, attempting to get away from the conversation

"just tell me the address, y/n" chenle huffs, voice going into ceo mode. the voice he uses against people knowing they can't say no to him

with a sigh, you begrudgingly tell him the address

"thank you. now that wasn't hard, was it?" he says sarcastically, inputting your address to the car GPS. when the GPS loads and calculates the time and distance, chenle's eyes go wide

"you live 30 minutes away from the company?" chenle says more of a shocked statement than a question

you feel yourself shrink to the leather seats. it wasn't that far. besides you were used to it and the bus rides are somewhat therapeutic for you after a long day of work or more like dealing with the devil himself, your boss, chenle

"i'm used to it. plus its therapeutic" you shrug, stealing a glance at chenle who kept his eyes on the road

but you two ultimately share eye contact

"therapeutic how? that sounds more tiring than assisting me at work"

"exactly. it's peaceful because i know you aren't on my ass for 30 minutes" you snap back, narrowing your eyes at the boss

chenle snorts, "that's definitely one way to put it"

you grumbled, turning away to look at the window. hoping that this ride end faster

BUSINESS PROPOSAL ᝰ.ᐟ . . . GET IN

✎ . . . things aren't going as planned the way you thought it was going to be. especially the part where you find yourself falling in love with your own boss– which was definitely not part of the agreed proposal.

[ PREV / NEXT ]

✎ AUTHORS NOTE . . . FINALLY. we're finally MOVING

✎ TAGLIST . . . @mrkleelvr @jenodigital @https-dandelion @rik0shii @spacejip @yyangj3lly @multifandomania @taroddori @222brainrot @amouriu @defzcl @va1entinaa @carelessshootanonymous @onlywonb @flaminghotyourmom @do-you-remember-summer-127 @grimlinshere @yayayaiheardyouthefirsttime @hoeingthefuckup @meltinghershey @alwayswook @dutifullyannoyingstrawberrie @dudekiss3r @sibwol @planetmarlowe @morklee02 @httpsxnox @firydst @yuyita-rosier @ayukas @cottonjaems @monomya @neocults26 @greenyweirdo @cinneorolls

[jessesluvr]

Heyy🩷What abt Joel Miller x Reader. Where not only Joel gets beaten up by Abby but also reader,

But then Reader looks dead but isn't and Joel will live yk but they take Joel back to jackson and not reader bc they think shes dead but then someone (Tommy?) Is there to collect her body but then realises she's still alive and she's conscouis but wasnt able to move AND STILL LAYS IN THE EXACT SPOT and shes feels like she wasnt important or smt and she gets like really sad or something :)

Thank you<3

forgotten | joel miller x reader

author's note : gee, this one kind of broke something in me but all is well ! i feel like this is one of those fears that never goes away. i hope i did your request justice ! please forgive me if not </3.

summary : after joel and the reader are brutally beaten, she’s left behind and presumed dead—until tommy discovers she’s still alive, forcing her to confront the pain of being forgotten by the one she risked everything to save.

word count : 2k

blood. that was the first thing you tasted—iron-heavy and warm—pooling at the corner of your mouth as you lay sprawled on the wooden floor of the old lodge.

then came the silence. deafening in its aftermath.

joel’s body lay only a few feet from yours. unmoving. broken. his eyes half-lidded and unfocused, blood streaking down from a deep gash on his brow. abby stood over him, breathing hard, her knuckles raw and red from repeated blows. her expression? something between triumph and hatred.

and you?

you had tried to stop her. you screamed, lunged, fought—bit, even—desperate to reach joel before the final blow, but her crew had held you down. your ribs cracked when someone kicked you in the side. your skull rang after being slammed against the floor. eventually, your body stopped responding. not from fear—but from betrayal by your own limbs.

then it all faded.

darkness wasn’t peaceful.

it was loud.

it whispered all your worst fears in your ear, over and over.

you weren't strong enough. you weren’t fast enough. you weren’t important enough.

when the world returned, it came in pieces.

you couldn’t move. couldn’t speak. couldn’t blink. but you could feel.

the cold seeping through your back from the blood-soaked wood. the dull throb in your ribs. the slow, wet roll of a tear down your temple.

footsteps. voices.

“joel’s still breathing—get him up, now!” that was tommy.

they were taking him. saving him.

but not you.

“leave her,” another voice said. “she’s gone.”

no.

you screamed in your mind, begged your body to twitch, a finger, anything. you weren’t dead. just paralyzed, maybe. in shock. you felt everything. but they couldn’t see that.

you lay in the exact same spot. still. silent. cold.

and they left you.

one day later — jackson

the snow crunched under tommy’s boots as he rode back out with a small cart in tow. they didn’t usually bring bodies back—there was a quiet spot just outside jackson for burying the fallen—but something about it… he couldn’t leave her there. not you.

joel was alive, stable, barely conscious.

he hadn’t said a word since he woke.

but the way he clutched at the hospital bed, the hoarse whisper of your name when no one was around—it gutted tommy.

so, he rode back for you.

when he reached the cabin, the door was still wide open. blood everywhere. your body still lying where they'd left it. frozen stiff.

until he moved closer—and saw your eyelashes flutter.

his breath caught. “no. no fuckin’ way…”

you didn’t hear his words, but you heard something: the shift in the air. the way it broke against your cheek as he knelt down. warm hands touched your face.

then, like something out of a dream:

“(y/n)… it’s tommy. you’re alright now.”

you didn’t know if he meant it. you didn’t feel alright. but you were seen.

and that was enough.

three days later — jackson, medical wing

you woke in a clean bed, sunlight leaking through canvas curtains.

everything hurt. muscles, ribs, jaw. but your eyes moved freely, and your lips parted.

the nurse rushed to call tommy.

moments later, he arrived.

“you’re okay,” he said. “shit, i thought—god, we all did. but you pulled through. strong as ever.”

you gave him a weak smile, one hand gripping the blanket. “where… joel?”

his face tightened. “alive. resting. he’s… healing. haven’t told him yet. didn’t want to get his hopes up in case—”

“i need to see him,” you whispered.

he nodded. “give it a day. i’ll get him here.”

that night

you lay alone, staring at the ceiling, and it came crashing in.

they left you.

they left you.

it didn’t matter that it was a mistake. it didn’t matter that you were alive now.

they assumed you were dead without checking. without touching you.

you weren’t as important. not to them.

joel was.

you loved him for that. and hated yourself for envying it.

next morning

the door creaked open, and a familiar voice muttered, “that her?”

you turned your head just as joel stepped inside, limping, bandaged, eyes bloodshot.

his breath hitched.

his gaze locked on yours like it couldn’t believe what it was seeing.

“(y/n)…”

you choked on a sob. “hi.”

and he was across the room, falling to his knees beside the bed, taking your face in his calloused hands.

“i thought you—tommy said you…” he shook his head violently. “jesus, i thought you were gone.”

“i was still there,” you said. “when you left.”

his hands froze.

“i couldn’t move, joel. couldn’t scream. i was awake when they dragged you away.”

his eyes widened in horror.

“they didn’t check,” you whispered. “no one… no one even checked.”

he leaned forward, resting his forehead to yours. “i’m sorry,” he whispered, voice cracking. “i’m so goddamn sorry.”

you swallowed hard. “i didn’t matter.”

his grip tightened.

“no. don’t say that. don’t even think it.”

“but you—” your voice trembled. “you were worth saving.”

he looked at you like you were the center of his whole world. “you are the reason i wanted saving.”

silence fell between you, thick with things left unsaid.

“i was ready,” he whispered. “when she came at me, i thought—fine. let it end. but then i saw you fight. i saw you bleeding. screaming for me. and i—god, i didn’t want to leave you behind.”

“but you did.”

he flinched.

“i know,” he rasped. “and i’ll never forgive myself for that.”

you turned your face into his palm, closing your eyes.

“i just needed someone to see me.”

“i do,” he said instantly. “i see you. every damn day. even when you’re not there.”

tears slipped down your cheeks. he wiped them away.

“you think you weren’t important? you’re the only reason i’ve lasted this long. you think i would’ve fought to stay alive without you?”

“i don’t know.”

“i do.” his voice was hoarse. “and now that i got you back, i’m not losing you again. ever.”

one week later

recovery was slow.

joel came every morning, every night. sometimes he’d just sit beside you, holding your hand in silence. other times he’d talk, tell you about the new patrol routes, how ellie was doing, how they were rebuilding the greenhouse.

but one day, you sat on the porch together, and you turned to him.

“joel?”

he looked at you.

“you left me.”

his face twisted. “i know.”

“i don’t know how to forgive that.”

he nodded slowly. “you don’t have to. not now. not ever. i’ll carry that weight.”

you leaned your head against his shoulder. “but i still love you.”

he exhaled sharply, curling his arm around you. “i love you too, darlin’. always have.”

you closed your eyes.

still healing. still scarred.

but not invisible.

not anymore.

[theferbtones]

HERE ISSSS MY COMPREHENSIVE FIRST THOUGHTS ABOUT THE FIRST PART OF PHINEAS AND FERB SEASON 5 (FROM THE POV OF A LONG-TIME SUPERFAN)

SPOILERS BELOW!!! DON'T READ IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE NEW EPISODES OKAY!!! THANK YOU MUAH

General thoughts:

animation is actually quite good! I think summer block buster / license to bust were noticeably rusty but everything else was pretty good + there were some moments that were really well animated. especially in the b plot scenes

I like that they overdubbed phineas' lines in the theme song! I think that should have happened a long time ago!! like, yeah im used to the original lines, but it sounds more cohesive in my opinion

adding onto that I'M SO GRATEFUL THAT THEY DIDN'T REMAKE THE INTRO OH MY GOD THANK YOU DWAMPY THANK YOU TH

Voice acting was great! There were some wacky moments but like overall I didnt have any issues with any of the voices. I feel so bad I was so concerned because there was Candace’s theme song takeover and Ashley Tisdale’s voice sounded so autotuned there but in the show she sounds just fine. All the new VAs did great as well (ily David errigo jr. as ferb)

Buford’s bread bowl hot tub joke the whole season was really funny to me. Honestly, buford overall was SO awesome this season. he was carrying the backyard gang

I also quite liked ferb and baljeet so far. my sillies

---

Episodes:

Summer Block Buster / Cloudy With a Chance of Mom

great way to reintroduce the characters. Im glad we didn’t linger much on the school part and we jump right into summer

The twist with Linda being vaporized was perfect. I liked how the gang interacted with cloud Linda.. seeing Candace be emotional is always SO important to me okay

Idk what else to say. Super solid beginning, great intro song

Submarine Sandwich Submarine / License to Bust / Dry Another Day

I love how normal these episodes were!! Really feels like they could fit into season 2 or 3

I don’t have a ton to say about them other than I really liked them all. seeing Candace finally get her license felt like a proud parent moment lol. loved the callbacks to mud mud world!

Deconstructing Doof:

NOT what I expected from this episode but I was not opposed to it! The therapist character was insane but it was interesting. I liked having a Candace and doof duet again… love seeing when the connections are acknowledged in the show :smiles:

Linda was really pissing me off in this episode though. girl pay attention to your daughter oh my god!!!

Tropey McTropeface / Biblio-Blast!

oh my god. Tropey mctropeface I laughed SO hard at some of these gags. It was an out there idea, but I loved it! Zoetrope god canon. thats all I have to say

Dont have much to say about biblio-blast either it felt like a standard episode (good) 

I liked the part where they all jumped into the air high school musical style. Did they make it just to include in a trailer? Probably… but I still like it. 

A Chip to the Vet / More Than an Intern

the vet episode had SO MUCH potential. But . I did not like it thaaat much. Perry and doof’s fighting was cool, but otherwise the big invention for the day just felt too similar to phintastic ferbulous car wash :’(

Also WHY ARE WE USING SCREAMING GOAT IN 2025. THE EPISODE DID IT NOT ONCE NOT TWICE BUT *FOUR TIMES*. SERIOUSLY it really took me out of the episode

I like that its canon that ferb went feral. Feels in character

More than an intern was good and I liked seeing carl’s life outside of owca.. I feel bad for him. Im glad he got to vocalize some of his feelings

Also the setup and payoff with ferb in more than an intern made me laugh

The Aurora Perry-Alis / Lord of the Firesides

aurora was OK, nice to see monty again! And the scene with Perry and Stacy!!! I liked the song in this episode as well

also why do the Flynn fletchers keep going on cruises. these guys are loaded /silly

I feel like lord of the firesides was fun at first but it was too repetitive if that makes sense… the song was a banger though

The Candace Suit / Agent T (for Teen)

the Candace suit is horrifying. Can’t wait to see more of that freaky thing

Loved seeing buford be a little freak honestly. Loved the continuity regarding the “I have life sized molds of all of my friends”

Why did Isabella make fun of Candace for liking ducky momo

STACY HELPING WITH OWCA / PERRY. ITS ALL WE WANTED. ITS ALL I EVER WANTEDDDDDDDDD YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAA NO NOTES GREAT EPISODE PEAK PEAK PEAK PEAK PEAAAAAKKKK I LOVE AGENT P AND STACY FOREVER AND EVER

The Haberdasher / Out Of Character

I LOVED THE HABERDASHERRR I like learning about the extended OWCA staff! Such a fun episode. For sure going to be one of my faves from this season

Moth doof was weird but in the BEST way possible. reminded me of my OCs (if you know my OCs... you would understand what I mean.)

Out of character was pretty standard but im sad baljeet didn’t actually get a role

Meap Me in St. Louis

sighs heavily. This was for sure my least favorite episode in the season (so far) (I HOPE nothing is worse than this) as someone who really likes the meap saga this episode was such a slap in the face after really looking forward to this :(

What happened to meap’s og actor? Like I understand about Jeremy’s but AFAIK Lorenzo lamas hasn’t done anything crazy. (If he has let me know bc im unaware of it). And WHY did they have to redub the iconic meap soundbite? It was unnecessary… no shame to his new VA but I guess im just so used to the og it caught me off guard. AND WHY DID THEY DITCH THE MUSTACHE TRANSLATORS. CAN ANYONE HEAR ME. HELLO

I just hate how the episode felt like it was trying to meet the requirement of existing rather than actually continue the story? Like, the meta part was fun (AT THE BEGINNING). But it quickly turned annoying and like an excuse to not make things cohesive. Nothing really felt relevant and they just shoehorned each part of the trailer (especially the jerry part).

I liked mitch as per usual and I liked the song that the backyard gang sung, but otherwise it just fell so flat…… meap deserves so much better…

No Slumber Party / The Ballad of Bubba Doof

YEEEEAAAAA VANESSA CANDACE STACY BEING FRIENDS . WE WIN!!! 

The jokes in this episode really landed for me. The friends parody, baljeet falling asleep after his bedtime (so true dude) and Lawrence sleepwalking were all so funny

Ballad of bubba doof was fun, honestly i’m surprised they hadn’t had an episode like this earlier. Ah yes my favorite PnF character: lunch <3

---

Overall, I think the pros were the B plots (all of them were really solid to me, and that’s saying something, because I’m generally more invested in the A plot) and the successful feeling of “more of the same” (in a good way of course). You don’t watch phineas and ferb for something new— well at least I don’t…

Cons were that some jokes that fell flat / went on for too long, and I think there weren’t enough standout songs either. Hopefully as the season goes on we get more iconic song moments.

I can’t wait to watch the rest of the season! I have no doubt that things will find its footing. Its got a really strong start, perhaps I’m just being too nitpicky…

Some things I’d like to see in the future:

More Jeremy?? Please??? Can anyone hear me

Actually just more of the teens overall. Vanessa content… now!!!

I just want to see my favorite guy forever (phineas) sing more OK. Thank you

Also I want another fireside girls centric episode (akin to Isabella and the temple of sap / bee story)

Favorite episodes: The Haberdasher / License to Bust

Least favorite episodes: Meap Me In St. Louis / Chip to the Vet

[lunshimmer]

mother's day

summary: it's mother's day. ellie feels left out.

❀ fandom: the last of us

warnings: there's a fight scene but that's it

❀ a/n: cute lil thing bc i was bored :)

❀ word count: 1,537

❀ divider by @firefly-graphics ❀

"Take it back, you fucking asshole!" Ellie screams, hands forcefully pushing the boy in front of her. He hits the ground with a loud thud. Ellie enjoys it.

The boy takes a second before coming back to his feet. "And what if I don't?" He sneers, stepping closer to Ellie with each word. "What are you gonna do about it, orphan?"

The word orphan sets Ellie off like a bomb. She launches herself forwards with a battle cry of sorts, fists flying at the boy's face and making contact with his nose with a sickening crunch. Ellie hopes his nose is broken. She hopes his whole face is.

He tries to fight back, but can't. The fight abruptly ends when two hands scoop under Ellie's armpits and drag her away. She's got no doubt about the destination-- the principal's office.

—-

Mrs. Ambrose was a curt woman.

In all the other dealings that Ellie had in the principal's office had been fairly short. This one, however, was not. Frankly, Mrs. Ambrose was pissed.

"Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?" Mrs. Ambrose shrieks, gesturing wildly with her hands. Ellie thinks she understands pretty well. She doesn't care.

"I didn't fucking start it! It's Carson's fault." Ellie retorts, voice getting louder with each word. She doesn't care if she's being loud. It's not her fault.

Mrs. Ambrose stops to take a deep breath. Ellie assumes it's to stop herself from self-destructing when she continues speaking. "I've called your father."

"He's not my father." Ellie responds, arms crossed tightly across her chest.

"We're going to finish this conversation when he gets here." Mrs. Ambrose states, eyes ablazing and focused on Ellie. If looks could kill, she'd be six feet under. Actually, Mrs. Ambrose wasn't the most pleasant woman to look at in the first place. Ellie figured she'd be dead just after meeting her.

As if on cue, Joel appears in the doorway. It eases Ellie's mind to see him, until she sees the way he looks at her-- similar to Mrs. Ambrose. Ellie knows she's in deep shit now.

"Ah, Mr. Miller. Thank you for joining us." The tone in the woman's voice completely changes as she gestures for him to have a seat in the empty chair next to Ellie.

Joel silently sits down next to her with a we'll talk about this later look. "So, uh, what seems to be the problem?"

"Your daughter assaulted an innocent boy." She starts.

"Is that what he told you?" Ellie retorts, straightening up in her seat. She's nearly shouting. "He called me a fucking orphan."

"Woah, woah." Joel's hands land on her shoulders, eyes softening. He believes her-- thank god.

Mrs. Ambrose shoots Ellie a pointed glare as she turns back to Joel. "You see, Carson's father is very important around here." She folds her hands atop her desk. "We simply can't have his son getting in trouble and your girl is the problem."

Ellie knows that's bullshit. Carson's dad was head of one fucking patrol. There's no way Joel would believe her.

"And my sister-in-law is practically the first lady of this place," Joel starts, tone hard and even. "and if I even just say the word, your ass would be out on the fuckin' street."

Mrs. Ambrose looks shocked, mouth agape. Ellie wants to throw the pencils on her desk into her open mouth.

"I better never hear you givin' my daughter any shit ever again, do you hear me?" He continues, agression beginning to seep through his voice. Ellie wishes she had a camera to take a picture of the woman's face. It was hysterical.

Joel's gaze shifts from the woman back to Ellie and he gestures for her to stand up. "C'mon, baby." He says under his breath, ushering her out the door.

As the pair trudge down the street, Ellie sighs. "Thanks for bailing me out back there."

Joel mutters a you're welcome under his breath, still staring forwards. "Ellie, you gotta stop handlin' things like this."

"Like what?" Ellie shouts. "He was fuckin' sayin' shit to me, what was I supposed to do? Stand there and fuckin' take it?"

"Maybe think about talkin' it through instead of just throwin' punches." Joel retorts. "You can't do that shit here, honey. People're gonna think 'ure aggressive."

"So what if I am aggressive?" She stops walking. "I'd rather be known as the girl who's aggressive and stands up for herself instead of poor, weak orphan Ellie who can't defend herself from a four-fucking-teen year old boy."

Joel's mouth parts to speak, but Ellie doesn't want to hear it. She takes off down the street towards the house.

---

Ellie collapses on her bed, tears pricking at her eyes. She angrily tugs off her shoes, launching them at the wall in front of her.

Ellie thought she'd have a lot of friends when she came to Jackson. Hell, if she could get Joel to tolerate her, why couldn't she win over everyone else? It certainly wasn't the case.

Some families in Jackson looked at her like she was a feral dog. Sure, she got into trouble every now and then, but what fourteen year old didn't?

Joel said that some people might look at her a little differently because she came from a QZ. He stressed the fact that it didn't matter what other people thought-- it didn't matter where she came from. All that mattered was that she was here now.

She wished she could believe him.

Ellie sighs, falling back onto her bed with a thump. Her eyes land on her desk and the craft supplies that sit atop it.

Mother's Day was approaching. She had never even heard of it, because they didn't celebrate things like that in the QZ. Dina had explained to her that before the Outbreak, people celebrated all kinds of stupid shit. Apparently, kids show their love for their mother by making a pointless piece of paper with some words on it, and apparently, the mothers love it.

Ellie wished she knew her mom. She imagines a scenario, where she sits in a clean farmhouse kitchen with a woman whose face she can't picture. Ellie pictures handing the woman, her mother, a pink paper card with a heart and a love, Ellie on the inside. The woman engulfs her in a hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around, thank you's and I love you's coming out of the woman's mouth in a voice Ellie's never heard. She gets caught up in the false memory before remembering that it's not real.

She thinks about Joel. Was this day hard for him, too? Does he imagine Sarah celebrating her mother, knowing that she'll never get to again?

Fuck it. She wanted to do something, even if she didn't have a mother.

Ellie picks herself up off her bed, padding to her desk. She sits down in the chair and picks up the craft supplies.

---

Hours later, she emerges from her room. The card's not perfect, but it'll do.

"Joel?" She calls, bare feet against the wooden floor as she walks down the stairs.

"In the kitchen." He shouts back.

Ellie's breath catches in her throat. She's nervous, but she doesn't know why. It's Joel.

She stands still in the doorway, card in hand.

Joel notices that something's off with her. "Whats'a matter, kiddo?" He asks, meeting her at the doorframe. "Y'okay?"

Ellie stands there a moment before responding. "I just, uh.." she looks at her feet. "I'm sorry. For causing trouble."

Joel looks at her, eyes sympathetic.

"I don't mean to be a burden, or anything. Carson made fun of me and Dina 'cause we don't have moms, and I figured you're the closest thing I have to one," She rambles, "well, you'd be more like a dad than a mom because you're a dude." Ellie pauses, taking a deep breath. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. It's dumb."

She holds the card out to Joel, eyes closed. "If you hate it, that's cool."

He takes it without a word, eyes scanning the front of it.

"I don't even know why I did it, I just saw the paper stuff on my desk and started doing it before I could realize it's dumb, and--"

Joel cuts her off, bringing her into a tight hug. She returns the embrace. "So.. you don't hate it or think it's stupid?"

"Not at all." He says, voice thick with emotion. She worries that she upset him.

"I made one for Maria, too." She says quietly. Joel wraps an arm around her shoulder, guiding her towards the coffee table in the living room. He places the open card on top of it.

"There, perfect." He says, admiring her work. They stand together for a second before he speaks again. "Ellie, you're not a burden."

Her eyes well up with tears.

" 'M sorry for what I said earlier. 'Bout bein' aggressive." He states, leaning down to look at her. "I'm glad you stood up for 'urself."

The tears flow freely down her face and she brushes them away.

"Ain' nobody gonna bully my girl and get away with it." Joel smiles, bringing her into another hug.

[youweregreatinthere]

It's for the better

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary:

It takes a few rooms, but Bucky knows where he is now. The void. Looking for those he loves.

Out of all of the possible rooms he could've stumbled into, he didn't expect to find the one he loves like this.

Warning/tags: angst, no comfort, short one shot, Bucy's POV

A/N: I have not written anything in years but I cannot stop thinking about Thunderbolts so here I am, feeling very stable and normal, crossposted to ao3

Fic:

It's dark...Okay, Bucky was expecting that. What he didn't expect was the quiet. None of his top 10 in the "shameful memories" category starts with this level of silence, so he starts poking into those memories that even he doesn't want to delve into trying to figure out where he is - and more importantly how to get out.

Then he hears it, that sniffle - no amount of drinks or "heroic missions" could wipe it from his memory. It sinks in, he knows where he is, he knows what he's about to hear. He's shoved back into the mindset of that day and steels himself for the inevitable.

"What do you mean it's for the better? That's absolute bullshit, and you know it too!" God, he had managed to hide the break in her voice in his memories, but he couldn't shrink away from it now, not here. He knows what's coming next, and even he is hoping that this Bucky says something different, something less painful.

"I meant what I said, whatever happens to me, I know it's for the better. None of this is important to me, it never was! I'm wasting my own time; I have more important things to do." That cruel past Bucky says in his cold, metal voice he swore would never be used again. He wants to jump out from his hidden alcove, wants to scream that he was lying and regrets every second of this conversation, but even now he knows this was the only option. He had too much on the line, too many people coming after him. It was scary to have something - no someone - mean so much to him and leave him so vulnerable; more importantly, it was dangerous. If anyone ever found out about her, she would only become a pawn in their games, just like he was. He had long accepted his fate, he knew the part he played and the outcome that awaited him, but he would destroy the galaxies before he forced her into the same outcome. She had an entire life ahead of her, and he knew she was destined for big things, amazing things.

"I know you think you're doing the right thing. I know in your head this is the only way to keep me away from you. I know you think the only way your story ends is young and fiery. But that's not true, none of it has ever been true! I am my own person, and I make my own decisions - you are my decision! Why won't you listen to me? You can't treat me like this and believe that you're the party wronged by the universe here. Everyone is wronged by the universe! I don't know if my story ends badly or if it ends when I'm 103 years old, I only care that you are in it until then. I wish you would listen and let yourself believe... I can wish all that I want, but it won't bring us together, will it?" And that monologue has stuck with Bucky since that day so long ago. It haunts him in his nightmares and invades his mind when he's awake. He's never been able to get away from it, because he knows. He knows he took the easy way out. Never seeing her smile or seeing her grow old was the easy way out because the only other option was to see her suffer at HIS expense. There are so many things he regrets, but he can't bring himself to regret this. It was hard, and he'll always feel the shame of lying and selfishness, but none of that compares to how it would feel to lose her.

This next part was the final nail in the coffin, "Fine Bucky, who am I to ask for more? You want to make your choice? Go ahead! I'll leave, meet someone new eventually, and be happier than I can imagine, but only if you can say it again while actually looking me in the eye." The silence says more than Bucky ever could, "Yeah, that's what I thought," she spoke with finality between quiet sniffles.

He knows he can't see her face like that or hear the last thing she says to Bucky - not if he wants to finish the mission, if he wants to find the ones he has to hold onto now.

He can only think to whisper a final "I'm sorry" before he has to burst through her door that he never thought he'd see again and experience the next horror that awaits him.

[igglemouse]

Week 2 ~ Blood Simoleons (2.4) ~ Monday

It's apparently Gnome day or something and so I will do my best to just ignore it and carry on with my day, or rather, begin my day. These things are tiny, usually bearded, and always frozen in one pose or another. No one knows where they come from or how they get into your home and I honestly think no one wants to find out. I will not let them hijack my day so if you do not mind I'll be ignoring them.

Today's breakfast, pancakes! Extra fluffy as well because...well, why not? It is a big day as there is another audition ahead of me, a really important one, but aren't they all at this point? Every opportunity could be the one, my breakout moment, and each victory is just another bullet point to my growing resume. Day by day I am making my mark on this town

After breakfast I take a break with a little gaming. It just gives my mind a chance to wander without having to think about auditions, lines, and the pressure that comes with them. I should point out that I'm pretty terrible at games. Like even easy mode feels impossible to me but I am having fun all the same and that is what matters?

See! Little Bruno is also unsettled by these gnomes, I catch him howling at one that appeared in my bedroom and I couldn't help but feel for the little guy. There's really little I can do. Oh, I could try moving them but why touch them at all? They are kind of creepy, to be honest.

Later, Papa calls with one of his usual check-ins. He asks about my week and I let him know that he will be seeing me on screen soon. He's excited to hear that but I must tamper his expectations and let him know that it's really just a couple of commercials, blink and you might miss them. He's proud all the same because of course he is, I can always count on his support.

One upside to acting is the flexible schedule. It's not your usual 9 to 5. Some days are hectic, sure, but others are wide open and give me nothing but time. With that time I wander the city a little but you could guess that I would end up at Starlight Boulevard and before the Walk of Stars.

I stop before a blank star and I can see it now. My name carved there for all of time. It oculd be this one or one over there or there or really anywhere, this walk will find space for Magdalena.

A quiet little command echoes through my mind: Be Memorable.

I wanted to go home after that, go over my lines and prepare for my audition, but a stranger catches my eye at the nearby park. Confident, that's what he oozed, and he was watching me in that bold way, posture alone bringing me closer to him step by step. I should mention that he wore a cowboy hat and boots along with it.

"Haven't seen you around and I'm out here every day," he speaks in a lazy but smooth tone. His sunglasses hide his eyes but I know he's checking me out.

"Magdalena," I say offering him a smile. "You can call me Mags or Lena, either one works."

"I'm not a big fan of nicknames so let's stick with Magdalena."

We sit and talk a while. I'm curious about him, he's got a flashy look, too much jewelry and all of it screams 'Look at me' and again, those cowboy boots don't fit a casual city park. Normally, I'd avoid a man like this, looks like the kind of guy that my sister Carina would be all over, shady guys that talk big and carry trouble around them like it their wallet...and yet I'm still curious.

Eventually, I learn that he's a music producer and he uses that to explain his style.

"It's just packaging," he says with a little laugh. "Gotta sell the image before you can sell the sound."

I exhale, just a little bit because I was worried that he was a drug dealer or something worse. "Oh, a musician? What genre?"

"I just produce, so no genre, don't want to limit myself. I put my music out there and hope that someone finds use for it."

"Ahh, behind the scenes then?"

He nods, "Yep, behind the scenes, I don't dig the spotlight too much, I just have passion for the music and want to create something real."

"I see," and now I go from intrigued to interested. Marco was fire and desire, pure impulse and instinct. Aaron, yes, that is his name, is something else. Grounded. He's just starting his career, dreaming dreams that are similar to mines I am sure, and he feels more my equal than Marco does.

"You uh, an actress, yeah?" he asks.

For some reason I laugh, partly because I am enjoying the conversation and partly because it seems silly to say with my little commercial roles. "Yeah, I'm trying at least! I do have a pretty big audition later today and so I can't stay and talk for too long."

"Yeah, no worries, can I have your phone-"

"Of course! See you around!"

Back at home and Bruno greets me as if i've been gone for years. Tail wagging and he's bouncing with joy. He's so sweet! I hate that I can't stay for long so I feed his food bowl and grab a plate of brownies because its all I can have before going out again and I can't even afford much because the bills leave me with only 120 simoleons...

But I'm not going to panic because I have an audition to crush! Wish me luck!

Index ~ Elsewhere...

[ava-deb]

only crying a normal amount 🥹

[platinum-horizons]

4

edit: 4 was NOT supposed to be there i dont know how it happened

Like I know we all love making ADHD seem cool but like, don't forget it's actually a disability? My ADHD is bad enough I've nearly been evicted for forgetting to mail the rent check to the property manager, I've forgotten to pay the utility bills and had my water or power get turned off or had to pay fines bcs I missed a credit card payment. Once I was supposed to cat sit for a friend and I lost the house key she gave me but didn't realize until she was already out of town, and she had to call the apartment office to get someone to give me the spare so her cats would have food for the week. When I'm unmedicated I can't even get myself to shower half the time, forget eating or cleaning. Before I started living with my fiance I'd just like, not eat for days because I didn't have anyone to remind me to eat or go buy me food. I've forgotten to turn the stove off so many times and ruined kettles and tbh been DAMN fucking lucky the house didn't burn down. I've done stupid, impulsive shit that's nearly gotten me KILLED. I can't remember to close the shower curtain reliably even through my fiance points out every single time I forget, and he's almost out of soap rn bcs for the last MONTH neither of us have been able to remember to order more once we get out of the shower.

I've had such bad memory my entire life that to this day someone suggesting I forgot something because I simply didn't care enough is a legitimate trigger that, in the worst cases, makes me have a breakdown.

I get that for some of you this is just something that makes studying hard or you forget to take a pee break when you're playing Minecraft or whatever, that's still a valid struggle and you do deserve help and understanding, but like, ADHD is a disability. It's disabling. It's not impossible to improve and learn coping skills, meds help a lot, there are great accommodations out there(LIKE CLEANING SERVICES), but not every case of ADHD is the same, and a lot of them are pretty ugly ngl, and just because you managed to do something doesn't mean someone else is gonna be able to manage it too, or that they're being lazy for struggling. And that obviously doesn't mean ADHD people have a free pass to never work on themselves and make everyone cater to their every need or whatever, but we do deserve some understanding when we explain that our disability is actually disabling in ways that aren't palatable to you. So like, idk, maybe don't immediately recoil in horror when you find out that someone with ADHD can't keep their house clean. And for fucks sake don't ridicule them for it.

[stzrgirl4norris]

This One's For Your Girlfriend - MV01

Max Verstappen x Reader

summary: what is the best way to get revenge out of your cheating boyfriend? simple answer. date his favorite driver.

word count: 7k

(this is a smau and story at the same time)

thank you to everyone who motivated me to write this!! i hope you like it!!

tagged: @star73807-blog, @lillacisbored, @fastlikeferrari, @clearlandchild, @canyon-nina, @folkloresreputation, @kasiewrites, @camilahpg03, @luvsforme, @tsnelf7, @littlegrapejuice, @athanasia-day, @themultifanshipper, @ecleticcreatorweaselsalad, @lilasthoughtss

The bitter taste of Vodka burning on your throat couldn’t mask the erratic rhythm of the drums pounding in your ears. On a good note, the song was so loud it was impossible for you to focus on anything - you can also blame that for the alcohol running in your bloodstream. 

It was Monaco. Glorious, glamorous, the country of clubs and billionaires, where, even if you were poor, you were still filthy rich. 

You were sure you would be enjoying yourself, had it not been the unfortunate circumstances on your pathetic private life. It was supposed to be a couple’s trip, fancy, much like a honeymoon. You wanted to surprise your boyfriend - well, ex-boyfriend - with tickets to the Monaco race for his birthday, but before you could even wrap a cute baby blue ribbon around the Paddock Passes, you received a text - or rather a picture - from a random girl on your instagram DM’s. The image was clear, your boyfriend was locking lips with some blonde on a random Thursday night. You didn’t know the girl who sent it, maybe she was your guardian angel, maybe someone who knew you from college. It didn’t matter. What truly mattered was the pain breaking your bones, followed by the anger twisting your upper stomach.

He tried to reach out and explain himself, but there was nothing that could free him from the charges once the proof was so unquestionable. 

After that, every time you looked at those stupid Paddock Passes you thought about burning them, alongside a few of his t-shirts. But your rational brain was always something you were proud of. Why burn them if you can just enjoy the perks? 

Were you a big Formula 1 fan? No shot. It all started off as a way of  pleasing your ex on Sundays, and then it quite became an unspoken tradition. You didn’t know all the drivers names, only the ones that won most of the time, and you still couldn’t figure out if Lewis Hamilton was a Mercedes or a Ferrari driver. And, wait, where was Daniel Ricciardo? The thing is, it was never about the sport, to you, it was only about the quality-time in the relationship.

However, with all your apathetic knowledge of races and Grand Prixs, you knew one important thing, Max Verstappen. Your ex’s favorite driver. God, you even had t-shirts with his number on it. You rooted for him, because your boyfriend did. So, now that there was no boyfriend, you wanted Max Verstappen to actually crash his car on Turn 1. Sure, maybe it was a little bit mean to project your anger on a guy who is just doing his job, but the rage inside of you was so sharp that everything your boyfriend once loved, became what you now hate. So what if Max Verstappen is one of those things? He doesn’t know you.

The arrival to Monaco was chaotic. There was no way of getting to it by plane, so you had to spent an unholy amount of euros on an Uber ride. At least you got a chance to ride on a fancy white Jaguar that only existed on a parallel reality to yours.

You packed your best clothes, fancy satin dresses, short flowy skirts, the ones you’ve been saving most of your life for that special occasion that never really arrived. Now it was the time. Young, single, enjoying the salty air of Monte Carlo. You wanted to make sure no one knew you’ve been through a break up and you thought you were doing a good job, but, God, every corner of that country screamed your ex’s name.

Maybe a night out in a club before Qualifying would do you good. From the outside perspective, you looked stunning. Goddess-like. Everyone could tell you were not from Monaco, because there was something about you that stood out from that dystopian place, something which some might like to call a personality. No designer brands sticking out, no fake anything, no trying too hard, just a simple but effective beauty.

“Would you like another shot?”

The bartender’s loud voice overlapped the electronic beat. You looked down at the empty glass shot between your fingers. The image brought back the unbearable taste of Vodka, which made you involuntarily twist your lips.

“Uh… Sure.”

You nodded, but the hesitation was dripping from your lips.

“Maybe you should make her something she actually enjoys drinking.”

You heard the masculine voice coming from your right side. The sentence was filled with confidence, mixed with a sense of humor that was dry. You didn’t dare to look at the man, you were not looking for one, in fact, you much preferred if they were far away from you.

“And how do you know what I like to drink?”

Your answer just slipped your tongue, it was supposed to stay in your thoughts. But that was the Vodka effect. Maybe the stranger was right, you should stop.

“Feisty.” You rolled your eyes. “But no one actually likes the taste of that shit.”

“Well, I’m not drinking for the taste of anything.”

You looked to your right, over your shoulder, with annoyance tattooed on your face. And then you saw him. Black t-shirt, fitted jeans, black cap backwards. Piercing blue eyes. Looking like a frat boy from a sorority or someone from high school you’d have a crush on from afar. 

“You could still get drunk on Gin and Tonics and they taste pretty nice. Trust me.” He gave you a polite smile, lips closed. “I’m Max.”

You had to use your sober side to control any facial expression in that moment. Must the universe play such twisted games with you? Does God actually believe you’re one of his strongest soldiers?

It was unwitting the way you relaxed your posture once you managed to understand what was going on. Blame it on the celebrity halo effect. It was like he pushed all your negativity out of the club, even the songs sounded decent now. 

He did not look this hot on tv.

“I’m YN.”

He nodded and you noticed his grin. Wild. Trouble.

“So… Gin and Tonics?” He shook the glass cup on his right hand, the ice cubes making a light sound.

“I think I will actually just stop with the drinking.”

Because you wanted to remember every single aspect of that interaction so you could journal it and send it on a letter to your ex-boyfriend. See? I’m talking with Max Verstappen and you’re just dreaming about getting a glimpse of him.

“You are not from around here.”

He wasn’t asking, it was a statement. You didn’t know if you should take it the wrong way, if you looked so pathetically poor or outcasted, but his tone didn’t seem to imply this. Max was curious. He didn’t ask to offend, he asked with admiration.

“Damn, do I look that poor?”

You joked, getting a silent laugh from him.

“No, not at all! I meant it in the best way.” Max looked at the crowd of people dancing around, instantly making you pay attention to it too. The girls were well dressed, out of this world, like the Met Gala happened everyday here. You noticed, but never really paid that much attention. But, honestly, it’s not like you were self-conscious about it. Who care? In a few days you would leave and they would never see you again. “Everyone here is wearing some designer of some sorts, or glitter, or insanely high heels and expensive watches. You’re wearing flat sandals and you hair is beach wavy.”

You blushed, feeling suddenly overwhelmed with the fact that he analyzed you with caution.

“Don’t get me wrong, I would wear Louboutin’s if I had them.” Truth is, there was a part of you that think you would have fun in this lifestyle. There’s nothing wrong with dressing fancy and wearing designer, as long as you’re doing it for the fun and not to show off. “But, following your logic, you’re wearing a plain black tee and backwards cap.”

He raised his now empty glass. Max was never one to flaunt wealth in his fashion. He wasn’t, actually, a fashion guy. He was the type of guy who enjoyed spending his money on other people, or at least on things to do, things to get him out of boredom.

“Am I supposed to be wearing something else?”

“Maybe some RedBull merch?”

That got a loud laugh out of him. That was it for Max. He was officially invested in this. You knew who he was, yet you were still treating him like he was just some random guy flirting with you in a club. Of course, a guy you were minimally interested in. There was no starry admiration in your eyes, just plain acknowledge of his presence. 

“A-ha. So you do know who I am.”

“I think everyone in Monaco this weekend knows who you are.”

You didn’t know your words caused his chest to tighten a bit. But, of course, it wasn’t your fault. You weren’t aware of his issues with his public presence and persona. No one was, actually. Max never really said out loud how he hated being famous, although he thought his private manners spoke it loudly for him.

You noticed, however, his shoulders tensed up a bit and the air between you was slightly heavier. 

“Are you here for the race, then?”

“It’s a funny, long, too much information type of story…”

You opened the breach. Were you planning on telling about your disaster of a dating life to Max Verstappen? Never in a million years, but he looked like the guy who needed to hear some common human issues. Max craved normality, you could read that. So you were going to give it to him.

“Hm, now you will have to tell me.” Max looked around, aware of the discomfort coming from the loud, stupid electronic track that he actually would like if the sound of your voice wasn’t ten times more interesting. “Follow me.”

Max had no problem walking through the crowd, people would just simply open the space he needed to pass, like he was the prince of Monaco himself, some authority figure that could go anywhere and get anything. That part of his fame he liked it, there was no denying.

You held his hand firmly, like you’d be dropped at the ocean if you let go. His skin was rough and firm, with a few calluses. Hands that could break you if you allowed. The pressure he was applying on your palm was like a reassurance.

You followed Max to what looked like a private room, with a few booths, away from all the noise. The light was dim and yellow, moody, a typical place for flirting. Not necessarily romantic, though. The energy emanating was too sensual to allow space for any fairytale date.

Around you, you could see a few recognizable faces. Celebrities, models with old men, drivers. Lewis Hamilton particularly caught your eye, sitting in a booth, listening to a blonde girl talking. Unlike everybody else who seemed mesmerized by Max’s presence, Lewis didn’t care, in fact, he didn’t even acknowledged your existence, like he was above you, or Max. Truth is, he probably was.

Max guided you to a place in the corner, far away from the others, isolated. It felt like a calculated move. The dutch waited like a gentleman for you to sit down first, taking his seat right in front of you. The black table separating you with a single candle lit by a lonely flame wasn’t enough distance, it felt unduly intimate.

“So… What is the too much information, funny, story?”

He took a sip of his drink, that by now consisted in mere melted ice cubes with whatever was left of a lemon.

“I bought the tickets a few months ago, as a gift, for my boyfriend.” You saw Max’s lips curling in a smirk once you said the infamous word. “Now ex-boyfriend.” The emphasis on the first half of the word was deliberate.

“Tough breakup?”

“I found out he cheated on me through pictures that were sent on my Instagram Directs.”

Max tilted his head, he was convinced that something similar probably happened to him once.

“Well, first of all, I’m sorry, he’s a douche.” You brushed it off, a shoulder movement that made explicit that you were, somehow, almost over it. “Second, you said it was funny.”

“Well, here’s the funny part. I never liked Formula 1. No offense.”

“Non taken.”

“But Dylan was, like, obsessed with it. He knew everything, about everything. He had merch, lego cars, watched countless races in person, and the ones he couldn’t attend, he watched on Tv. Never missed a single one.”

Max laughed. Your description of his behavior wasn’t news to him, it sounded like just the average Formula 1 fan, but maybe that was the view from the public who had no idea how much passionate sports fan can be.

“So you bought him Monaco tickets. That’s sweet.”

“When we broke up I contemplated selling the tickets and getting my money back. But why would I do that when I could live the experience he always dreamt of?”

Your comment sparked something in Max’s chest. You were feisty, he could see you had a fire in you. He recognized, somewhere in your eyes and demeanor, that you had the rage and determination he only truly saw in himself. 

“So you flew out here?”

“Hoping I could see his favorite driver crash and send a video to him.”

“And who’s that?”

“You.”

Max tilted his head, narrowed his eyes. The fact that you just admitted you were hoping he would crash didn’t even bother him, because the confidence and malice in how you said it, turned him on. It’s like you were a challenge, unlike any other person he ever met. He wasn’t offended by anything you said, he was, on the other hand, completely captivated.

“I’m sorry to break it to you, sweets, I’m not going to crash just so you could get revenge on your pathetic ex-boyfriend.”

You giggled, feeling a rush of goosebumps with the nickname that escaped his lips so naturally, like it was something easy for him to say.

“No, I know. I guess talking to you is enough revenge already.”

You said the word talking, but both of you knew that wasn’t simply it. The air was denser and filled with dirty thoughts both of you had crossing your mind.

“Yeah, except he’ll never know you are here talking to me.”

You shrugged.

“It’s okay. Sometimes revenge is not about a public act, but an act of self gratification.”

Maybe it was the Vodka hitting, maybe it was how beautiful Max’s eyes looked when they were reflecting eroticism, or maybe it was just the confidence that you packed and brought it out like a hidden gun, but your words were explicit enough for him to understand the double meaning.

“So, since plan A is not going to work, your plan B is fucking your boyfriend’s favorite driver and what? Send him a sextape?”

Max was joking, clearly, but every time he thought back about it, he realized he wasn’t opposed to the idea at all.

You raised an eyebrow, as if daring him to agree to a plan HE was the one who created. You never said anything about a sex tape, or sex, at all. Turns out Max Verstappen had the devil in his mind, especially when confronted with a beautiful girl.

“Look, I can’t give you a crash, or a sextape…” He let the phrase prolong, like he had something to add. “But I can give you something else.”

You narrowed your eyes, tempted.

“And what is that?”

“Come to the RedBull garage this weekend, with me. I’ll make sure he sees you.”

You were out of breath for a moment, nearly choking on air. Your mind racing with ideas and ‘what-ifs’. Being on the spotlight was never your thing. Normal job, normal clothes, normal apartment, you would even call yourself basic. Simple. And there was nothing wrong with that. You liked the shadows, you liked doing your own thing without strangers lurking and noticing. It gave you a sense of freedom. If you were not in the spotlight, no one could judge and you could do what your heart truly desired.

Being in the RedBull garage with Max would change everything, your whole way of living. Because once you are seen in public with a guy like him, people never forget. It would give you a new identity, people would gossip, comment on your appearance, on your manners. It was too much.

Max could see the hesitation emanating from you, which sort of made him like you even more. Any girl would jump onto that opportunity, but you seemed actually worried about the consequences.

“I don’t know, Max. He’s not the only one who’s going to see me. People will talk.”

“So?”

“People will gossip. About me.”

“Who cares about what other people think?” You didn’t answer. Of course Max Verstappen didn’t care about other people, he didn’t have to, he would still be successful and talented regardless of what people would say, and he would still be adored. Because unlike you, he had an army of a fanbase to support him. “Look, YN, you’re not going to show up as my girlfriend or anything, people bring guests to the Paddock all the time. It’s really nothing if you think about it, and it will give you exactly what you need.”

Max promised to himself he wasn’t going to push if you said no. But he legitimately wanted you there, not only for the revenge or the ploy around your love life, but so that he could spend a little bit more time with you.

“I suppose we can try tomorrow and if it goes well, I’ll be there on Sunday too.”

Max smiled, ear to ear, a rare Max Verstappen smile journalist would be fighting over a picture. But it was natural and real, like the ones he had when he held his trophies.

“I have a condition though.”

“Oh, a second ago you were begging for me to agree to this, and now you have conditions?”

“I was not begging.” He kinda was though. “And I am the one doing you a favor, so, yes, I have a condition.”

You smirked.

“Ok, let’s hear it.”

“A date on Sunday night, after the race.”

Max had a dirty smirk hidden on the corner of his lips, which made your stomach twist with a familiar sensation you couldn’t quite name it.

“To celebrate your win?” You teased.

“To celebrate both our wins.”

Licking your lips, you couldn’t help but look at him like you were no better than any man. A date with a cute guy who was actually interesting and had a spark of evilness that matched you? Yeah, no one could refuse that.

“You better not crash then.”

Max laughed, relaxing his posture.

“I’m too good for crashing.”

You gave him your left hand, waiting for a shake, like sealing a deal between two powerful businesses.

˚˖𓍢🌷✧˚.🎀⋆

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"won't you guess where i am?"

˚˖𓍢🌷✧˚.🎀⋆Saturday˚˖𓍢🌷✧˚.🎀⋆

As soon as qualifying was done, you heard the whispers, from celebrities on the Paddock, from members of the RedBull team, even drivers and their girlfriends. Everyone was polite, cordially polite, but no one dared to ask your name, that day you were simply “the girl that came with Max.” Little did you know people were dying to unravel the mystery surrounding your persona. Who are you? How do you know Max? Are you and Max dating? It made you nervous.

You felt isolated. It was another reality, the people were so rich you were certain they didn’t know what working 9 to 5 felt like, or how it feels to get recognized for your ideas. At least, you had to admit that watching the whole thing in person was way more fun than on TV. Something, perhaps, you could start enjoying.

You were standing alone next to a window in RedBull’s hospitality, holding a glass of champagne that felt rude to decline. The room suddenly lit up, you heard loud claps all around, whistles buzzing. Between the fancy dresses and expensive t-shirts, you saw Max, walking with confidence, like he was royalty. 

Max politely smiled and shook hands with everybody congratulating him. Pole sitter. In Monaco. A big thing, from what you learned. However, the excited strangers and members of the team were not able to stop Max from walking straight to you, like he had a duty, like getting pole position was a purpose.

“Hello there, pretty.”

He smiled and you noticed how his features softened. Max was sweaty, hair messy, racing suit falling over his hips. You cursed. God damn it that man was breathtaking. Everything got even worse when he hugged your shoulders, placing a gentle, shy kiss on your cheeks. The room fell silent as everyone paid close attention to Max Verstappen being tender.

“Congratulations!”

“Did you enjoy it?”

You smiled, big, setting off an involuntary reaction on Max, that mimicked your smile as well.

“Way better than from home.”

“Any news?”

Max asked shamelessly, excited for the answer, excited to know if your boyfriend was cursing his own life for letting you go.

“Not yet. Maybe he didn’t see it.”

“Or maybe he is at the hospital, dead by a heart attack.”

You both laughed. Who knew Max Verstappen had a sense of humor? Even better, he had a dark sense of humor. One that sounded like the things you think, but keep it in your mind, afraid others will judge. Not Max. He will never refrain from speaking his truth, maybe that’s how he got to the top, the best of the best.

Before you could say anything, Max got surrounded by people of his team. He gave you a look, a sorry one. 

“It’s fine, I’ll go to the hotel, need some rest.”

“See you tomorrow?”

“Yes, sir.”

Another kiss on your cheek and he was gone. This time, when he walked out of the door, you felt overwhelmed by the looks fallen on you. They weren’t judging, just dying with curiosity. Nobody knew what the two of you had, but it was damn clear that the energy of attraction was so powerful it filled the space and left no place for anything else.

˚˖𓍢🌷✧˚.🎀⋆Sunday˚˖𓍢🌷✧˚.🎀⋆

Race day was chaotic, that was note number one. Note number two was, you were sure there was no way that many boats fit on Monte Carlos’ coast.

Unlike yesterday, you saw Max before he got into his car. You texted him when you arrived and he made his way to you, introducing you to a few people, so you wouldn’t feel isolated. It was uncomfortable having to explain that you weren’t dating, just getting to know each other. What you learned was that Max never really brought any girl over ever since his breakup with his long time ex, or even before her. He was a guy that kept his personal life so private even his family members had no clue if he was still single or not. Which is why people were so curious about you, because Max was treating you like, at the very least, a long time friend.

Your presence during Qualifying alarmed the media. The cameras weren’t shying away from filming you during certain parts of the race, especially when Max won after dominating 78 laps. But nothing prepared the journalists and the fans to when he said it out loud on the radio, proudly, letting everyone know.

If Dylan was already freaking out by one TV appearance, by this time he was for sure throwing a tantrum like a toddler who refused to eat vegetables. He wasn’t the only one. You wanted to crawl into a dark hole and hide from humanity. Or maybe scream and punch Max on his god crafted face. Everyone was speechless from that moment and Max kept going with his duties like he didn’t just create chaos amongst the Formula 1 community.

Thankfully, an angelic, miraculous girl that worked for RedBull managed to take you to Max’s driver’s room, where you could be alone. God, in that moment, if you could kiss her, you would.

You threw your phone in the depths of your purse, where you couldn’t reach to see any messages or take any calls, and especially not open Instagram. Your legs were shaking, like anxiety creeping through every pore on your skin. There was nothing you could do now, the damage was done.

Max opened the door in a brutal movement, like he was rescuing you from a dungeon. The mix of feelings when you saw him was too complicated to point. You were angry, nervous, grateful, amused, all of the above, plus a few more. Max, on the other hand, seemed like he just had another day at the office.

“Hey, told you I’d win, no crashes.”

“Are you fucking insane?”

Max was taken back by the tone of your voice and he replayed in his memories every single second of the day, trying to figure out what he did to get you so worked up.

“What?”

“That fucking radio message!”

And then he laughed. He laughed like he was brushing it off. Like it was nothing, an incident. 

“Not a sextape, but it’s the best I could do.” His smile quickly vanished once he saw the seriousness in your semblant. “Are you mad? I thought this is what you wanted.”

You were out of breaths to take. Sure, this was what you wanted, in a way, but maybe it went too far, too public. It was too much. And in that moment you were overwhelmed.

“I… It’s-” You shook your head, sitting back down on the small white couch behind you. Max stood still, watching, studying your movements. “I wasn’t expecting it.”

That was part of it. You weren’t expecting any of this. It took you by surprise and reminded you that you had no control over anything. But to make matters worse, this happened in a situation where you particularly needed to control.

“Would you have preferred if I asked you before?”

“Yes, I very much would, Max.”

He kneeled before you, reaching your height.

“I’m sorry, liefje. You are right, I should’ve asked.”

You softened, not only because he seemed genuine apologetic, but the pet name and sweetness in his voice melted every bad feeling you had, just like magic, he erased every reason you had to be angry in the first place.

Max Verstappen just had that it factor that no matter what he said, people would simply surrender to his ways.

You stood up from the couch, making him turn to you, waiting anxiously for your reaction. The minimal possibility that you would just say no to the date or never see him again was driving him insane.

“So, what time are you picking me up?”

The shape of his lips curved into the most beautiful smile you have ever seen.

“At eight. No need to wear a fancy dress, anything is fine.”

“Thank God I packed my finest sweatpants then.”

Max giggled, playfully.

“Well, actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

Of course he wouldn’t mind. You could go to the date dressed in pajamas and he would still think you’re the most beautiful girl in the world.

“See you later, champ.”

˚˖𓍢🌷✧˚.🎀⋆

Later seemed to never come. Your hotel room was a mess when Max texted that he was waiting for you downstairs, much like a reflection from your insides. You were going out, on an official date, with Max Verstappen. How would you simply return to your job on Tuesday and tell your co-workers what happened? 

Max was waiting outside his car, dressed casually, not like he was going on a first date, but as in you were in a established relationship and he could dress comfortably, like he always did. Somehow, that made him even more attractive. There were people around, watching, filming. You were worried, Max was annoyed, he wanted to punch anyone who dared to disturb that moment.

Once you were in the car, it was a relief, all the noise was shut, remaining only the sound of your shaky breathing.

“I promise you I will take you far away from this shit.”

He drove no longer than 10 minutes until he reached the coast. You followed him, like a lost child, watching him in his element, talking to the coast guards and some people that were there to help. And, then, it hit you, the big, white yacht, bigger than your childhood house. The type of thing you could work your entire life and still couldn’t afford.

Max got in first, extending his hand, like a gentleman, helping you. You looked around, mesmerized, like you’ve entered heaven. That place was beautiful, unlike anything you’ve seen before. The look on your face was probably pathetic, but Max found it adorable.

“Is this yours?”

You wanted to curse yourself, what a stupid question, of course it was.

“Yes, welcome.”

Max gave you a quick tour around, showing the place with the lack of interest that only a person who’s been there a thousand times could have. Like it was getting old. The Yatch was so peaceful you didn’t even notice it started to move and you were now somewhere in the ocean.

The tour ended with a table set out in the open, under the dark starry sky. White cloth, a burning candle, in the company of a lonely red rose. Max pulled your chair, sitting in front of you. You noticed he was nervous and you noticed he tried hard. Little did he know you didn’t need an expensive yacht to be impressed, he could do it only by being himself.

“This is really nice, Max.”

Your compliment eased his nerves.

“I hope this isn’t too much.”

“Well, it certainly isn’t too little.” You joked, but he seemed still a little tense. “But I think it’s romantic.”

And it was, indeed. Text book romantic. Straight out of a romcom.

“Are you hungry?”

You weren’t. The nerves were eating you alive, you couldn’t think about food, your body showed no signs of hunger at all.

“Starving.”

He grined, ear to ear. “Awesome.” And got up from the table, walking towards the inside.

You took the moment without his presence to breathe, get yourself together, recompose. You would leave tomorrow and never see him again, which was a shame, but at the same time helped you to get comfortable. 

Max was back barely a minute later, holding two white plates. You were expecting some fancy seafood dish, maybe a lobster or shrimp, but instead, he held in his hands the delicacy of a homemade burger, garnished with french fries. You smiled. Maybe you were hungry after all.

Max placed the plates on the table, looking proud.

“I made them.”

“Woah! I’m impressed.” You giggled, quickly taking one of the fries, from his plate. “He can drive and cook? What can’t you do?”

“Anyone can cook a burger, it’s not that hard.”

“Don’t put yourself down. You’d be surprised to see how people’s culinary skills are precarious.”

You took a big bite of the burger. Sure, it wasn’t anything elaborated, just a patty with a slice of cheddar cheese and tomatoes, but the simplicity turned it into something special. Plus, the fact that Max took his limited time to make them himself.

He watched you carefully, aching for your opinion, like you tasting his food was somehow validating him as a person, as a man, as a lover.

“So… How is it?”

“Perfect.”

You weren’t talking about the burger at all. You were talking about him, about the weekend, about everything he did for you. It was perfect. Just what you needed. Like God saved Max Verstappen just for you, like all of this was just for you. Suddenly, you felt seen, important, cared about.

The rest of the night flowed like silk. The conversation was stimulating, electrifying. Max learned about your life, your family, your job and you learned about everything that did not involve his career or driving. That night, Max was just a regular guy, with a normal girl, having homemade burgers on a 33 million dollars Yatch. 

As the night extended, you both realized how you didn’t want it to end, how you wanted to be there forever. You were laying down on a towel, the chill breeze flowing, standing side by side, stargazing, telling each other childhood stories.

“I really want to keep seeing you.”

Max’s words came out as a fragile whisper, like he was telling a secret, like he never experienced being vulnerable before.

You turned your face, staring right into his blue eyes, that were a little bit darker with the lack of sunlight.

“How are we going to do that?”

“Don’t worry, I’ll make it work.”

And he kissed you. You felt his hand first, barely touching you, almost like he was insecure - as if Max was afraid that instant could break. 

The kiss wasn’t rushed. It came with the calmness of someone who knows that time, sometimes, bends before what is real. You sighed slightly, between the kiss, letting the air escape your longs amongst your partial open lips.

The sky fell a bit closer, like all the stars were watching, silently, bearing witnesses to that moment. He moved slowly, shy, like discovering his own name, until he wasn’t. Max leaned in even more, you felt the deepness, not in an urgent kind of way, but in a way in which you were dancing the same song.

And over there, underneath the starry Monaco sky, with his taste invading you, everything stopped moving. Nothing before, nothing after. Just this. The whole world fitted in that kiss, as a promise that would perpetuate for a long time.

˚˖𓍢🌷✧˚.🎀⋆

What followed the weekend was not what you expected. You thought that once you boarded that plane back to your hometown, Max Verstappen would fade into a distant memory, a fairytale, something to tell your kids in the future and make them doubt reality. But that wasn't what happened.

When Max wasn’t flying you to nearby races, he was visiting you in his free time. Showing up at your job, unannounced, holding some white lilies or some plush toy that he bought. You visited his home, got introduced to his family, had dinner with his dad. The infamous Jos Verstappen people talked about, like he was an urban legend. Turns out, he wasn’t as scary as people made it sound, or maybe you were just too good at dealing with that kind of man. At the same spectrum, Max also met your family, your dad nearly crashing out once he saw the Max Verstappen sitting on the dining table, like a normal guy.

Turns out that, even with the constant traveling, media, fans following you down the streets, loving Max was so easy. Much easier than you thought. You even told that to him once. Max didn’t believe you, because he has been told the contrary many times before. In fact, he quite believed that he was an unloving person, although he would never admit that to anyone. However, he felt you were genuine in your acts of tenderness. Every time you brushed his hair or kissed his temples, something in him lit up with warmness, like he was experiencing a real life miracle.

Max never officially asked you to be his girlfriend, he didn’t need to, it just happened. When he wasn’t racing or you weren’t working, you were together, glued like birds of a feather.  You were familiar with the drivers now, and their girlfriends. Unlike Monaco, every race you attended now you had someone to talk to, you would even dare to call some of the girls your friends. Everyone seemed to enjoy your company, the team, the drivers, Max’s friends. It’s like you were a breathe of fresh air amongst the chaos of the racing world.

Horner wouldn’t lie, he was a bit worried seeing his driver fall in love with someone, because he had never seen Max race while being distracted, while having another priority. However, Christian quickly noticed there was nothing for him to stress about. Quite the opposite, actually. Max - if it was even possible - improved, ruining McLaren’s dominance. He couldn’t quite explain what the chemicals of love were doing to his Dutch Lion, but he prayed you never left.

On Max’s perspective, yes, he wanted to put on a show, to be his best, to impress you. Not in a pressured way, but in a “I want to make you proud” way. And you were proud regardless of his position. You celebrated Max the same exact way, it didn’t matter if he was P1 or P11. In fact, during Singapore, after a disappointing race, finishing at P8, you waited for Max at the hotel room with champagne and balloons. At first he was frustrated, angry, disappointed at himself and definitely confused at your reaction, but that was mainly because he never had someone who supported him so much, to the point which anything was enough. You taught him that he was enough, and you were proud of him as a person, as a driver, he didn’t need to be the best of the best all the time.

That sort of mentality you brought worked like reverse psychology. It took the weight out of his shoulders. And racing without any worries, made him better.

Needless to say your ex, Dylan, was losing his mind with that whole situation. Which, to Max, was only an incentive. He took the cheating personally, like it happened to him. And even though you never talked to that guy again, he wanted to make sure Dylan regretted what he did to the rest of his life. You told him to forget it, reassured that you were over it, that after Monaco Dylan was dead to you, like a nightmare that you forgot the second you woke up. But Max wasn’t the type to let it go.

So, Abu Dhabi 2025, last race on the calendar, he would give his all. The championship was tied between him and Lando. For the entire season, he raced to win, but that exact race he had entirely different motives.

You weren’t nervous unlike the other girlfriends, you put blind faith in Max. That’s why when the race started, you watched with a steady heartbeat. And Max? Reminded everyone why he was the best of the sport.

When he stepped out of the car, the whole team made a priority that you would be the first to see him, per his request. Helmet on, he rushed to you, like you were the trophy, like you were the championship prize. You kissed the helmet, feeling the coldness hitting your lips. His breath fogged the visor for a second as he leaned closer, hands still trembling with the leftover adrenaline of the race. The roar of celebration around you faded into a muffled hum — the crowd, the champagne, the cameras — all of it dimmed behind the shield of this moment.

Max lifted the visor slowly, revealing eyes that had searched for you since the checkered flag. Eyes that only softened when they found yours.

“Fuck, liefje,” he said, voice rough, edged with emotion. “I can’t believe we did it.”

You smiled, blinking against the tears threatening to fall. “You did it, Max,” you whispered, your fingers brushing the edge of his jaw, “you’re the best.”

He laughed — a breathy, shaking laugh — and pulled you into him, the hard shell of his suit pressing against your body like armor. “Thank you so much for being here,” he murmured into your hair. “For always being here. Love you.”

You closed your eyes, letting the truth of his words wrap around you like warmth. But then he leaned back just enough to meet your gaze again — this time with that glint in his eyes. The one you’d seen when he was most dangerous. Most determined.

“And maybe,” he added, with the ghost of a smirk, “just maybe... I wanted him to see this too.”

Your breath caught.

“I wanted him to watch,” he continued, quieter now. “To watch me win everything he lost the moment he let you go.”

The crowd started chanting Max’s name, and behind you, the team called for photos, for celebrations, but neither of you moved. You stayed there in the quiet bubble of his embrace, the world spinning a little slower just for the two of you.

Finally, Max pulled back, cradling your face in his gloved hands. “It’s you and I, now,” he said, not as a question, but as a promise. “Wherever I go next, we go together.”

And you nodded, heart thudding like an engine ready to race. Because this wasn’t just the end of a season. It was the beginning of forever.

The cheers swelled again as Max took your hand, raising it high like another victory. And when he looked back at you one last time before stepping onto the podium, he didn’t see the crowd, the cameras, or the flashing lights.

He saw you. Always you. His greatest win.

liked by redbullracing, f1, yourbff and 6,288,494 others

vogue Evertyhing we know about the romance between Yn Yln and Max Verstappen. From how they met to how she became RedBull's princess and fan's favorite WAG. Link in bio.

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user imagine being such an iconic couple vogue wrote a fucking article about you

user they won best paddock couple 😍😍

user she is so pretty!! 😩😩😩

user can yn teach me her tricks? 🙏

yourbff my baby is a star 🤩

danielricciardo finally some real journalism!

> user you're in a max/yn biggest fan competition but your oponent is daniel ricciardo > danielricciardo you're immediately losing

yourusername what is my life??

> user girl if you don't want it, can i have it??

user how's dylan??

❤️ liked by maxverstappen1

user bro saw his girl got cheated on and made it everyone's problem

user if they don't get married istg

yourmom my loves 😍

zendaya petition for this to be a movie immediately.

user if petty was high fashion, this man just walked Paris.

florencepugh I need her skincare routine and his PR team.

gigihadid love that for her. love that less for her ex 💅

user he said drive to survive and thrive to flex, and I support it fully.

user this is the energy you have when your love life AND tire strategy are in sync.

user it’s giving “revenge dress” but in the form of an entire Grand Prix.

f1gossip she got cheated on and responded with a WDC boyfriend. this is not a win, this is a legacy.

user he’s not just her man — he’s the man your ex warned you about.

user if Romeo drove a car and Juliet wore a paddock pass.

liked by yourusername, RedBullRacing and 9,293,555 others

maxverstappen1 This one's for your girlfriends.

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user this is actually insane

user mad!max is back 🥵🥵

user may this love find me! 🙏🙏🙏

redbullracing the dutch lion is still here! 💪🦁

user 5 times world champion, hot girlfriend, rich, talented. will he ever lose?

user i'm so invested in whatever this drama with this dylan guy is

> user i hope he is suffering wherever he is > user starting a fuck you dylan campaign

user max is in his protective!boyfriend skin

yourusername the best of the best! 💗

> user she is such a queen 😍

lando congratulations mate!! 🍾

charles_leclerc chat we tried, we can't stop him

> maxverstappen1 maybe when I retire 😎

lando blocked by at least 6 exes after this post probably

user championship + main character energy = unstoppable. respect 🫡

georgerussell63 ok but do you offer classes in pettiness? asking for a friend user imagine being the ex watching this with dry cereal and regret 😭🥄 user no because he didn’t win a championship he won her and THAT’S revenge 🔥

user idc what anyone says, this is peak motorsport content and I love it

[sakuravalenp]

He's supposed to be invincible - DC X DP

Just something random that came to my mind.

So, Danny ends up being adopted/fostered by Bruce just months before Damian arrives at the manor, the how and why is your choice, but the GIW is still a threat. 

Now, Danny catches Damian attacking Tim the first time and instead of telling the rest of the family or scolding Damian, he went lik:

“You haven't even defeated me, and you think you have a right to attack Tim? Get in line, kid.”

And so Damian understands that to get the right to fight against Tim, he needs to get rid of Danny first. Climb the power pyramid, if you will. And so, Damian starts his assassination attempts against Danny. 

But here's the thing: Danny is making absolutely no effort to stop him, he just takes the attempts. The first time, Damian successfully stabs Danny, and goes to announce his victory over Danny to his father. Bruce rushes to Danny, worried for his safety, and finds him just chilling there, not a single drop of blood or injury. Damian is gapping.

“Oh yeah, the kid beat me in a round of hide and seek. He’s pretty good.”

Bruce is relieved and pats Damian’s head, not noticing his utter confusion. And so a cartoon-like montage starts: Damian attacks Danny and claims victory, but Danny is completely fine, and says Damian won at some random game. Everyone thinks the two are super close, and that Damian’s excitement about winning is super cute. 

Eventually, positive enforcement wears Damian down, because everyone congratulates him and gives him affection for winning the “stupid things” Danny comes up with. He gradually calms down and integrates pretty well. Danny does end up being his closest sibling because he’s the only one that actually knows all of Damian. The only one Damian could attack with zero restraint and still be treated the same. 

But the important thing here is: Danny becomes an invincible figure in Damians mind. He could be stabbed, decapitated, poisoned, and still come back like nothing happened.

So surely, when Phantom is shot out of the sky by a Blood Blossom, surely he’ll just stand back up in a minute like always. Surely, he’s just waiting to get back to the cave to pretend like he always did for Damian. Surely, he’s just putting on a show on the medbay. 

But hours go by, and he’s still pretending. Still looking pale. Still keeping his eyes closed.

Damian doesn’t understand why he hasn’t bounced back yet. He should be okay by now. Alfred is moving around, changing the IV,dabbing Danny’s head with a damp cloth. There’s commotion outside as everyone is trying to get an antidote.

But this shouldn’t be happening. 

Danny is invincible.

Danny should be back to normal already.

So Damian starts shaking Danny. Screaming to stop pretending and tell them he was beaten in some stupid game again. To open his eyes already. 

Father is pulling him away, trying to calm him down, but he keeps struggling in his arms, because he’s getting Danny to wake up. 

And he doesn’t notice the tears falling down his face until he runs out of energy, and all that’s left is hiccuping in his father’s arms.

...

So… yeah, that’s what my mind supplied today while on the bus :)

Maybe one day I'll write it, but I don't have time, so I would love to see someone else's take on it.

[ashsillyrants]

LADS men when you scream (not in a sexy way)

Fluffy and crack au

Pairings: reader x Xavier, Zayne, Rafayel, Sylus & Caleb (separately)

Disclaimer! This is how I view the lads men, please keep in mind that your opinions and mine might differ

XAVIER

You and Xavier had decided to watch a movie on one of your rare day offs.

A horror movie, to be exact.

While you were certainly squeamish about jumpscares and the overall creepy atmosphere of horror movies, Xavier just looked confused and disinterested, more focused on holding your hand and munching on popcorn than in the movie.

Hence, it was to no one's surprise that Xavier soon started to feel sleepy, resting his head on your shoulder halfway through the movie. You barely acknowledge him nodding off on your shoulder, too immersed in the movie.

This feels nice, Xavier thought with a barely there smile as he finally slips into Dreamland, just as the movie's plot starts to thicken.

Your skin crawls with the creepy music rising, watching the movie through the gaps of your fingers.

It was then that it happened.

The antagonist of the movie jumped into the camera frame, scaring you silly as you let out the loudest, most shrill scream you had ever heard from yourself. From beside you, Xavier flinched awake with a start, his blue eyes wide and alert as he quickly looked around himself, expecting a Wanderer while the bowl of popcorn that had been perched between you two went flying in the air, scattering kernels all over the room.

He had nearly pulled out his hunter's sword before he noticed you looking at him wide eyed, a flush of embarrassment on your face.

"Starlight.... What was that about?"

"I'm sorry! I just got scared by the movie." You apologize quickly and he looked at you as if he couldn't decide whether he wanted to be upset that you ruined his peaceful sleep or be endeared by your antics.

"Let's.... Let's just clean up." He finally said with a shake of his head, a small smile on his face.

"Oh, and no more horror movies."

"No more horror movies."

ZAYNE

You and Zayne were sitting in a comfortable silence in his living room. He was writing a super important draft to the cardiovascular department about an upcoming seminar on new surges in healing Protocore related heart problems, while you read your current favorite book, sitting on his side.

The only sounds that could be heard in the living room were the sounds of papers flipping and the tapping of the keys on the keyboard.

Zayne looked outwardly cold and distant, but every once a while, his eyes slid over to where your toes were wiggling in barely contained excitement to whatever plot development was happening in your book. Smiling slightly, he shook his head and turned back to his typing.

And then, just as he was about to get to the incredibly important part in his draft, the unexpected happened.

You screamed- no, the word should be screeched, in glee. "YES!! THEY FINALLY KISSED!!" You screamed, scaring the crap out of Zayne who had not expected such a loud outburst. His finger slipped, and he heard a small ding from the computer. Looking back at the screen, his eyes widened as he noticed that he had sent the unfinished, unproofread draft to his entire department. Oh, the horror.

"Snowdrop....." Zayne sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and you peeked over his shoulder, smiling sheepishly when you figured out what had happened.

"Whoopsies.... Sorry, Dr. Zayne."

".... *sigh* Well, its done. I suppose I can write a new mail later. Now, tell me what had you acting like that?"

"Okay so like--"

And that was how you found yourself telling the entire plot to Zayne who listened to you patiently.

RAFAYEL

"Rafayel."

"I know, Cutie. Just a little more."

"It's been 800 years-"

"Oh haha, you're a comedian now, aren't you?"

You snicker at Rafayel's deadpanned expression, before letting him go back to whatever he was painting. Since his studio was being renovated, it was only natural that he had taken over your apartment as his temporary studio. Something about the angle of the sun, that you hadn't bothered to listen completely to. When Rafayel ranted, you tended to tune out the words that you didn't quite understand. Which, when it came to the renowned artist who seemed to speak art as well, was about 75% of the time.

Sighing to yourself, you decided to clean up the mess he had created of your living room, around the tall ladder-isque stool he sat perched on. Paints, paintbrushes, more paints, more paintbrushes. Picking them up, you stack them on the coffee table before heading to sit down on the couch once more.

However, before you could sit down, the doorbell rang and Rafayel let out a disgruntled noise at the interruption to his 'inspirational time'.

"Cutie."

"I know, I know, go back to your painting."

You brush your clothes down with your hands and saunter over to the front door while Rafayel went back to his painting, leaning over in concentration.

When you opened the door, your eyes widened when you noticed the delivery boy and the logo of the official merch of one music group you were currently obsessed with. Unable to hold back your excitement, you screamed in delight, jumping on your feet as you snatched the box from the poor delivery boy.

"It's here! It's here! It's finally here!"

In the midst of your screaming, you failed to notice the yelp from the living room, followed by a thud and a string of colorful curses in Lemurian. It was only when you walked into the living room, grinning like a child on Christmas morning, that you noticed Rafayel sprawled starfish style on your fluffy carpet, the stool still creaking and a streak of blue paint on your furniture.

"Raffie! Oh my gosh, are you okay? Did you fall?" You rush to his side, and Rafayel looked up at you, blinking once before sitting up straight, looking around quickly. "Where is it? The thing that made you scream?" He quickly asked and you paused, the dots connecting in your mind.

"You fell because I screamed?"

"Well, of course. You're hurt? Everything okay?"

"Raffie, I just got excited cause I got my merch."

The look he gave you was one that could've easily won an Oscar. A look of pure incredulity while he stared at you as if you had grown another head.

"Cutie.... Nevermind, I don't wanna ask."

SYLUS

You had finally convinced Sylus to leave the N109 zone, where he spent his entire day cooped up in a dimly lit office, to go on a stroll with you in the park nearest to your home in Linkon City. He had, of course, protested until you bribed him with a promise to do whatever he wanted later that night. Well, Sylus was not afraid to admit that he was a weak man, especially when it came to something like that.

Hence, that was how he found himself walking with you hand-in-hand on the track in the park. The weather was pleasant, and the park was fairly crowded, filled with families who wanted to spend quality time together and burn some energy as well.

"Isn't this nice?" You asked with a beam, looking up at him and Sylus sighed, passing you a small smile. "Yes, Kitten. It's very nice." Luke and Kieran would have a field trip if they saw how tamed their boss had turned when it came to 'boss lady' as they liked to call you.

Just then, your eyes fell upon an ice cream stand on the side of the park pathway, and you beam, looking up at Sylus. "Wait here, I'll be right back!" With that, you let go of his hand and jogged towards the ice cream stand.

"Wait, kitten-" Sylus frowned when he realized you were out of earshot already, and he sighed, waiting for you to come back while skillfully ignoring the surprised looks he was getting from the spectators in the park. After all, it wasn't every day that someone showed up to the park in an immaculately tailored suit.

Checking the time, he was about to go check on you when he heard a loud, familiar scream. Instantly, he was rushing towards the sound of the scream, black and red mist already forming at his fingertips. Eradicate the threat, he thought as he looked around urgently, only to pause when he found you.

You were crouched in front of a doberman puppy, cooing loudly as you hugged and petted the happy pup. "Oh, you're a good boy! Who's a good boy? You are! Yes, you are!" You cooed and Sylus couldn't stop his amused yet slightly exasperated chuckle.

"Kitten, were you screaming because you found the dog cute?" He asked, unable to stop chuckling, covering his mouth with a hand, his previous protectiveness forgotten.

"Sylus! Look at him, he's the cutest, isn't he?"

"That he is, but my kitten is cuter. Now come on, let's get you that ice cream and get you home. I think we've had enough sun to last for a week."

CALEB

When you had mentioned to Caleb in passing that you were shifting to a newer apartment in Linkon, you should've expected this.

Him showing up at your doorstep with an easy smile, your personal handyman.

"Come on, pipsqueak. Let's get your stuff moved to the new place."

With that, both you and Caleb got busy packing up your stuff for the new home. While Caleb worked with the furniture that you couldn't figure out how to pack up, you worked in the kitchen, putting dishes and utensils into cardboard boxes, cushioned in between mountains of old newspaper.

Humming the tune of a pop song both of you loved nowadays, you moved through the kitchen, working through the mountain load of utensils you didn't even know you possessed.

When the time came to get down the plates from the very top shelf of the kitchen cabinet, you frowned before you shook your head, heading to the dining room with the purpose of getting a chair.

Moments later, you had clambered on top of the chair, a satisfied grin on your face now that you were able to get the plates with ease, without Caleb's help too.

Just as you picked up the first stack and moved it out of the cabinet, your eyes caught something moving at the very back of the cabinet.

A cockroach.

You know how the story goes.

Letting out a blood curdling scream, you lost your footing on the chair as you jumped back, falling off the chair while the stack of plates flew from your hands.

Loud footsteps were heard thundering down the hallway and Caleb entered the kitchen with wide eyes just before you were about to hit the ground.

With practiced ease, his hand shot out and you felt the soft energy of his Evol balancing you just millimeters away from the ground. The plates? Well, they didn't fare as well as, soon enough, the sound of ceramic and glass shattering filled the kitchen.

"Baby- Honey- what the hell was that?!"

"Caleb!" You cried out, reaching out for him and he was quick to float you straight into his arms, careful not to hurt your feet on the broken glass and ceramic.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

"Caleb, there's- there's a roach! In the cabinet!"

Caleb paused, letting out a gruff sigh as his face lost its initial panic. "Pipsqueak, are you serious right now? You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Caleb! Get rid of it!"

"Alright, alright! Jeez, you're going to make my hair go white before I even turn 30."

With that, Caleb grabbed a slipper and went to take care of the cockroach Asian-Mum style.

🍎⭐🐟❄️🐦‍⬛

Hope you enjoyed!

[fabulous-cookware252]

I just saw the worst, least-understanding-of-the-plot,-characters,-and-themes post about a classic movie I love and I can't let go of the bafflement it made me feel. I'm hoping ranting about it will be cathartic enough to lower my blood pressure.

[minkieater]

most to least likely in ateez to wanna share their girlfriend with the members…?

SHARETEEZ ☆ atz ot8 x fem!reader

please i love this topic so fucking much, thank you for asking this !!!!! shareteez is so important to me. the only government ship i used is yungi because im insane and addicted to them 😄 not proofread sorry 4 any mistakes <3

smut mdni 18+ | wc ~4k

most likely …

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐖𝐀 ☆

idk what it is about hwa but something about him screams voyeurism to me. i think he’d be the one to bring it up, and i also think he’d share you with every single member if he could. as the oldest, even if he doesn’t share his personal items, something about sharing you gives him a sense of control. he’s always sitting in the corner of the hotel room, watching, analyzing as one of his best friends makes his girl feel good, but also, something about watching two people he loves together, right in front of his face, gets him off. he doesn’t wanna be involved— he wants to sit in his corner and watch, see how you react, see what the others do that he does or doesn’t do, watch how his members fall apart because of you. he’s prideful about it, it’s a way of showing you off, showing his members what they can have for a night but never to keep. he’s never jealous if you cum quick or if you’re screaming for another member, he’s watching with calculated eyes, taking notes, trying to ignore the ache of his cock that he doesn’t touch until he can’t take it anymore.

his favorite person to share you with is san. san is a passionate man in everything he does, his motivation never dies, and god does that statement remain true when it comes to sex. seonghwa is addicted to letting san fuck you, he’s the only member that’s fucked you more than once, hwa is obsessed with how you react for him, how easily you fall apart under his touch, the sounds the two of you make… seonghwa nearly asks for his wrists to be tied to the chair. its impossible not to stroke his cock while san’s eating you out, to not cum at the same time you do, to not drool as he watches the muscles in san’s toned back flex as he fucks you. hwa is a mess in his corner, his lap covered in cum, hand slick and wrist aching while his cock lays flaccid and utterly spent��� but he still can’t stop, not when san hasn’t finished yet, not when you aren’t brainless and lifted to that fuzzy space that only san brings you to so easily. seonghwa could watch you for hours, his own personal movie, his favorite part would always be when you twisted your head to stare at him as you came, every single time. seonghwa would die a happy man in his corner if he was watching one of his best friends fuck you stupid.

𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐒𝐀𝐍 ☆

san would quite literally do anything his gf asked of him, but i think san is a fucking freak to begin with and watching you with someone else would be a dream to him. he’s obsessed with your pleasure, a demon possessed when it comes to getting you off, there isn’t a day that goes by where you aren’t finishing from some ministrations of choi san. if you even so much as look at another member with lingering eyes he’s on it— he’s observant, he’s horny, and his mind is always going, thinking of something new, trying it out with you, getting you past the finish line with it. san is a quiet man but he’s always storing details away, saving them for later, rewording them into propositions to make you think it was his idea. when san drops the idea of you hooking up with someone else, you’re the one shocked as if he’d just stripped you bare, peered inside your mind, as if all your thoughts were written across your forehead. san doesn’t get jealous, he’d do anything to get you off, and he means that.

san giggled to himself when he watched you approach yeosang in the backlit bar. quiet and meek, san would have never expected yeosang to agree to dance with you— but the blush that crossed yeosang’s cheeks, how his ears tipped red, san knew he was going to have fun with this. san stood with wooyoung as he watched you dance with yeosang, grinding on him, hands around his neck, lips ghosting his skin, san’s pants were agonizingly tight and only grew tighter every time yeosang glanced their way with worried eyes. he didn’t stop, though, he never asked for permission, and for some reason it made san hornier that yeosang knew you called the shots. so when the three of you made it back to your shared place and you sat with your back pressed against san’s chest and yeosang between your thighs, it was no surprise to any of you when san ended up finishing untouched, ropes of hot cum painting your back, sticking your skin to his. it was so hot, hotter than san could have ever expected, too hot to not make the occurrence a regular thing. after that night you invited the rest of the boys to your bedroom, one by one, it became a game to you and san. who could get you off the fastest, who did new things that you could incorporate into your own sex life, who you wanted to invite back into the bedroom. san was always present, always watching, always right there, always touching, always finishing at the same time as you.

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐈 ☆

mingi would share the world with yunho, so yungi topping mingi’s gf is so real to me i’m 100% convinced it’s true. unlike the other two before him, mingi is possessive and jealous by nature, he can be shy and insecure, but never when it comes to yunho. he’s third on this list because i think he’d be dating his gf for less than six months before he let yunho get his hands on her, Grade A Lover Boy ™, he’s so open to the idea that he’s the one pushing it to happen— he’s been having threesomes with yunho ever since he started having sex, so when it comes to you, his perfect little girlfriend, why wouldn’t he want to show you off to yunho? he boasts about you all the time, how pliant you are for him, how your pussy is the best he’s ever had, how your body was sculpted by god himself. it makes yunho drool and fills mingi with such a sense of pride he needs to show him as soon as he can, let him experience it for himself, but asking you is the hard part. somehow explaining the relationship between the two without making it sound like he’s objectifying you in any way, because he’s not, you’re the two people in this world he loves the most, and he’s just as confident in yunho’s skills as he is in how he feels about you.

when you agree without a second of contemplation mingi knows he’s found the one. so he invites yunho over to your shared apartment on a random weeknight, a couple glasses of liquor between you to ease your one sided nerves, and you were laid out bare on your mattress before you had a moment to second guess. two huge men towered over you, taking you for everything you were worth, making you finish over and over and over until you had nothing left to give. yunho’s long fingers inside you combined with mingi’s thick, calloused hands roaming across your body, in your mouth, in your hair, when the both of them filled you up, at the same time, you were a sight to be seen by the end, the end that you weren’t sure would ever come. you didn’t want it to, and neither did mingi, who loved everything about it. he enjoyed threesomes with yunho always, but with you, they’ve never been more in tune with one another, it’s never been so intimate. fucking has always been fucking, but with you it was more, it was a dance, a rhythm, a mutual agreement never spoken out loud. mingi’s relationship with yunho changed after that— aspects of your own relationship with mingi changed after that. it didn’t stop with just that one time, neither you or mingi could let it be a one time thing, yunho kept coming over, the two of you kept seeking him out, even when you were in public yunho became regular, routine, never spoken about, only enjoyed.

𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐖𝐎𝐎𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐆 ☆

even if wooyoung is a fucking freak i think this would definitely take him by surprise. i KNOW he is the mayor of freakville and would do anything at any point in time, but i think inviting someone else in, someone he knows so closely, so intimately, might make him double take just for a second. especially because its neither you or him that initiates it, it’s the third party peering in, the third party who has watched you, listened to you, can’t stop thinking about the two of you and wants to join in on the fun. you’re down immediately, but wooyoung…? as much as he would be down for a threesome, inviting a member in makes him think logistics. for once he’s thinking with his brain and not his cock when it comes to you, you’re his, and as much as he loves to show you off, a shred of insecurity lies deep in his gut somewhere. he thinks on it for a total of two (2) days and then he can’t stop thinking about it, what you’d look like under him, what you’d sound like, how he’d look inside you… it’s all too much for him all at once, the realization that he needs it, that he’d beg for it if it came down to it.

but he quickly remembers that it was him the two of you needed that final yes from. seonghwa comes over as soon as he shoots the text and the three of you are stripped bare without as much as hello, wooyoung thinks that maybe the two of you have him beat in freakiness. he doesn’t feel left out for a moment, though, not as seonghwa slips into easily found dominance, giving the two of you instruction, watching you make out sloppily on the bed before he’s pulling you apart and making you obey him. wooyoung’s cock was rock hard the moment he stepped foot into your bedroom, as soon as seonghwa used that voice on him, hitting that sweet submissive spot in his brain he couldn’t always tap into so easily. you were both switches in your relationship, neither of you dominant all the time, usually switching in an out of roles during one singular session, but seonghwa tamed you both with ease and wooyoung ate it up, he was a whimpering mess before he knew it, cock overstimulated and red and angry, laid against his stomach still wet from seonghwa’s mouth as he watched him fuck into you with no mercy— you were a crying, screaming mess, too, already came too many times, yet none of you wanted to stop. seonghwa was toying with you both and wooyoung was obsessed, he let it go on until either you or seonghwa had enough, and it seemed you had the same idea, too. both of you wanting to please him, satisfy him, give him what he wanted from both of you. only on nights where both you and wooyoung were reminiscing particularly hard did you call him and beg him to come over again, to dominate you both, to send you back into that headspace you’d never forget.

𝐊𝐀𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐆 ☆

yeosang is only down here cus i think if you brought it up poorly you’d hurt his feelings. he’s really a chill guy and he’s super versatile when it comes to sex, i think there’s not much that he’d say no to, but he’d definitely have to think it over for a long time before deciding to say yes to opening up your relationship to anyone, let alone another member. you’d have several conversations about it before even thinking about choosing a partner, setting boundaries for one another, what a threesome would consist of, why you’re doing it in the first place. choosing someone was another week-long conversation, going through every single member before deciding on one together, the reasons why you were choosing him, making sure none of this was being easily decided. yeosang is heavily aware that this is a big ask of another member, and he won’t be anything but wise in his choosing, in his intentions. then it came down to actually asking him, the safety of it all, precautions and boundaries, what would actually happen during the encounter. yeosang would want all bases covered before going into it, you’re too important to him to lose, and his members are too important to him to fuck up his dynamic with any of them. it’d be months of just talking and planning before anything actually happened.

the two of you choose wooyoung because he’s the closest to you both, you spend a decent amount of time together just you three, wooyoung going as far as joking that you adopted him to the other members all the time. he’s kind, respectful and light-hearted, you both trust him deeply, and you think you could show him a good time, and vice versa. wooyoung is def thrown off when you approach him with the seriousness of it all, he’s probably like yeah sure and then you two throw a five page long essay about why you chose him and what would happen in said threesome. not really. but it probably feels like that to wooyoung, who’s ready to strip his clothes off when you asked him if he’s open-minded. yeosang is feeling confident when the night finally comes, and falls into pace and rhythm with wooyoung easily, the two of them bouncing off one another and leaving you a writhing mess. it’s a dance of hands and spit and tongues and cum, kissing yeosang while riding wooyoung’s face, blowing wooyoung while yeosang stretches you out, relying on two sets of strong shoulders while they both try to fit inside you, fighting to keep your eyes open to watch as they messily makeout over your shoulder. it was a true threesome; not one of you left out, no one left untouched, wooyoung was exactly what you expected him to be, if not more. it left yeosang feeling so confident that he’s the one to suggest it happen again— after you caught him making out with wooyoung after one too many beers at the bar.

𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐇𝐎 ☆

jeong yunho is a deeply possessive man, we all know this, and i think there’s only one way this could possibly go. he isn’t possessive out of insecurity or jealousy, but because you’re his, and no one else should be able to see all of you, hear you the way only he gets you. soft and submissive, bendable, pliant, obeying— that’s how he loves you, how he needs you, yunho is dominant, extremely dominant, and when it comes to your sex life, you will not do anything unless he asks it of you, or unless he makes you. so when you make a silly joke about fucking mingi, he takes it personally, he almost spanks you for it— why would you want to invite anyone else into your bedroom? why do you want someone else to fuck you? you had a long session that night, yunho took it upon himself to fuck some sense back into you, because yunho is all you need, jokes or not, you know better than that. as the days followed, yunho found himself daydreaming about fucking both of you, dominating you at the same time, two people crying and begging at his mercy… it was less about sharing you and more about making the both of you his, even if it was just for a night. his cock was standing tall at the thought, he could see it in his head, thinking of his best friend that way opened another can of worms he wasn’t sure he even wanted to act on, so he didn’t. not for months.

then there’s that one time he’s out with you and mingi somewhere completely innocent, like the farmer’s market, somewhere the three of you go often, probably twice a month when your schedules allow. the two of you are deep in conversation standing in front of a fruit stand, and yunho’s speaking to you, trying to get your attention but neither of you hear him, and it pisses him off. he snaps his fingers, something he does to you when you’re lost in a session, when your mind floats away even with all of your training, when he needs you to come back down to earth. but instead of your head snapping up it’s the both of you, with wide eyes and parted lips, waiting for yunho to say something, waiting for instruction. it awakens a feeling he buried deep in his gut that he couldn’t help but get you both in the car and back to your place immediately. the bond the three of you shared has never gone unnoticed in your years of being friends, and that mental link you had was proving itself more than ever now, how both you and mingi went straight to the bedroom, sat yourselves quietly on the bed awaiting yunho’s instruction. it was heaven to yunho, as he instructed mingi on how exactly to make you cum, how to suck on your clit, how to curve his fingers inside you to hit that one spot that made you squirt on demand. it was even better when he instructed you on jerking mingi off, how he held mingi’s hands behind his back, how he made you edge him over and over until he cried, abdomen clenching and sweat beading down his skin. yunho’s favorite was when you both sucked him off at the same time, how your tongues danced with each other on his cock, how you both had that gleam in your eye solely to please him. yunho couldn’t get enough after that— having one person completely submit themselves to him was one thing, but to have two? it’s safe to say that was not the last time mingi was in your shared bedroom with yunho.

𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐇𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐉𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐆 ☆

another possessive demon freak is hongjoong! you would piss him off so bad if you didn’t bring this up in a delicate way, honestly even if you did bring it up delicately he’d still prolly be pissed off. i think he’s the only member that would get mad mad tho, like not speak to you or sleep on the couch or something. why would you need anyone but him? he gives you everything you ask for, and it’s still not enough? when would it be enough for you???? it drives him insane for days, bro can’t work because he’s legitimately tripping over you thirsting after another one of his members. plus your sex life is great, he breaks your back every time he fucks you, he doesn’t consider it sex unless you’ve came two or three times. why would you need anyone else??? even if he could accept the fact that you wanted more— he has to come to terms with the fact that he’s to share you? the thought is ridiculous. someone else seeing you spread out, writhing, hearing you, possibly touching you? it makes him homicidal tbh he’s actually fucking crazy. knowing you have exes makes him rage enough, but to willingly let someone else see you is a whole different ordeal.

but he hated the idea of letting someone else watch a little less, so there’s your compromise. you let him choose because he’s insane and he tries to think of someone who would get the most pleasure out of sitting off to the side and just enduring, someone borderline pathetic, someone so horny they’d say yes to everything. naturally his mind leads him right to wooyoung, who said yes in a heartbeat. sat in the corner of the room in a cozy chair, wooyoung already had his pants pulled down to his thighs when hongjoong had just started kissing you. he smiled into your lips, knowing he was putting on a show, pride consuming him at the fact that he got to show this part of you off. as much as he hated the idea initially, he warmed up to it quickly when he realized how desperate wooyoung was, when he saw how badly wooyoung wanted to join in, wanted to be touched… depriving him of that made his cock harder, made him want to please you more, wanted to show wooyoung what he’ll never fucking have. hearing wooyoung whine and moan and gasp whenever he locked eyes with you, when hongjoong made you cum again, it made hongjoong want to work harder, want to make you cum again and again and again, just to hear you, to hear him, to dangle you right in front of wooyoung’s face. hongjoong never thought of himself as an exhibitionist but i think that experience definitely changed his life, and he wouldn’t mind showing you off for someone else again.

𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐈 𝐉𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐇𝐎 ☆

tbh i think jongho would be weirded out. he doesn’t see a point in opening up your relationship unless he wasn’t enough for his gf, and at that point he’d just end the relationship lol. if he was invited in to someone else’s relationship i think he’d literally say fuck no. too easy to get messy, for feelings to get involved, what if another member got jealous and couldn’t look at jongho the same way? these guys are his brothers, he doesn’t need to know what the inside of their girlfriend feels like. that’s territory he’d legit never cross. he trusts the members and their intentions but his relationship with them is too important to let a night of fun mess all of that up. but if you begged him for a threesome, like really begged, and strategized in a way that’d leave jongho with no more valid arguing points OR leave him with the feeling of not being enough for you, the one person he’d share you with is hongjoong. hj knows how to keep a secret, he can turn the switch off to separate his feelings, to realize when a situation his purely situational. he trusts hj with every bone in his body, he knows hj would take care of you, and if jongho never wanted to speak about it again he knows hj would never bring it up first.

what jongho has never realized because why would he is how versatile hongjoong is when it comes to sex. when jongho laid down the ground rules hongjoong was respectful, which was the most important thing to jongho, about yours and his boundaries— no kissing, no saying names, no cuddling, no spending the night. everything else was free game, though, and hongjoong took advantage of every unchecked box. it came down to worshipping you, and he was everywhere jongho wasn’t, you wondered if the two even realized the other was there. if jongho was inside you, hongjoong was feeling you up, fingers pressed to your clit, his other hand tweaking your nipples, whispering nasty shit in your ear. if jongho was kissing you he was behind you, licking and sucking down your back, his hands roaming every inch of untouched skin, praising you about how soft you are, how sweet you taste. jongho was pleasantly surprised, hongjoong slipped in like he’d done this a thousand times before, like your pleasure was all that mattered to him, and that was all jongho could ask for, aside from his rules. they totally never spoke about it again tho.

… least likely

masterlist

perm tags: @chimivx 😛

[poisonofthepaint]

lucky you

jack calls you in on your day off, which leads to hooking up in the on-call room, which leads to him finding your tattoo.

wc: 2.5k

cw: MDNI, semi-public sex, f!reader, age gap, pinv, oral, lmk if i'm missing anything!

The date you were heading toward was less than exciting. You knew you needed a life outside of the hospital, Dana had given you a wake up call last week. You had been working doubles like it was nothing, but this was your first day off in a while, so you figured you’d download a dating app, get a free dinner on a Friday night. Not that you couldn’t afford dinner, this was more like dinner and a show. Max was a kind guy, but you could tell he didn’t take you seriously— that he underestimated you. So this was your chance to show up a man, and have him pay for your dinner. Win win.

Then, your phone rings. The ringtone that you have set for hospital staff interrupts your music and blares through the speakers. You groan, checking to see who it was. You were surprised to see that it was Jack, you figured since he was agreeing so hard with Dana last week that he would be the last person calling you.

“It’s my day off,” you answer

“I need you here.” Jack sounds out of breath. 

“Are you kidding?”

“You know I’m not. Ellis is sick, I thought we could manage but we cannot. I need you here.”

“You’re buying me dinner.” you say, exasperated.

“Gladly,” Jack ends the call. 

You know he wouldn’t call you unless it was actually an emergency, Jack wasn’t like that. He wanted to be able to manage. He wanted to be able to handle it by himself. So when he calls you, it’s important. You take off the blue dress you had on, switching it out for a plain white t-shirt before throwing your scrubs on top. You grab the bookbag full of your supplies for shifts and head out of your apartment.

The hospital is only a few blocks from your apartment, so you walk. It’s a bit chilly out; the springtime air blowing through the trees. It looks like it’s gonna storm, and you get to the hospital right before it starts, ducking your head as you walk into the entrance. 

The patients are grouchy in the waiting room, all groaning and yelling. The seats must’ve been taken up hours ago, there’s more people standing than sitting. You push your way through the front door.

“Good, you’re here.” Abbot was waiting at the doors like he had timed you. “You’re not supposed to wear perfume here.” he chastises.

“Had already sprayed it when you called me, figured I didn’t have time to shower.” 

“Right,” his eyes catch yours and he refuses to look away. “We have a lot of injuries from a car crash. A bunch of guys were speeding on the highway and about six of them were sitting in the open truck bed. A semi driver didn’t see them swerving around and knocked them off the road.”

Jack finally breaks eye contact and walks away, you follow him back into Trauma 1. There’s a young guy, probably around twenty-three, screaming in pain. His hand is holding on by a string, like, literally. It’s barely connected. 

“Noah, this is my best resident, she’s gonna take a look at you.” Jack tells him, yelling over the boy’s own screeching.

“I don’t care who she is, fix my fucking hand! I’m on a baseball scholarship!”

“I’m really glad I cancelled my date to be here.” you say, examining his arm.

“You were going on a date?” he says, you think you hear a tinge of jealousy in his voice, but you brush it off.

“Aren’t you the one who told me to go have fun?” Jack doesn’t answer, just goes back to the patient, and you do too.

There are a lot of injuries, some superficial, some very serious. Noah will lose his hand, because he was stupid. You learn that he was the driver of the truck, and that he was drinking. You try to have empathy for all of your patients, but it’s hard when they’re being willingly stupid, and killing their friends. Noah heads up into surgery, and everything is rather stable now. The ED returns to its normal business, waiting for beds upstairs, triaging emergencies from the ambulances. 

You sit at your station and chart your patients, trying to remember all that happened in the whirlwind of your arrival. Jack stands right in front of you, charting as well. He looks back once, twice.

“You need something?” you ask, glancing up at him.

“Nah, just making sure you’re good.”

“I am just peachy, although I could use some dinner.” you smile up at him brightly.

He makes a noise that’s somewhere between a scoff and a laugh, “Guess I did promise.”

Jack pulls out his phone, opening DoorDash before handing it over to you. You swipe through the restaurants before you find some Chinese place that catches your eye. You put what you want in the cart before handing his phone back to him.

  “Thank you, Dr. Abbot!” you get up from your seat and go to do a round of checkups.

You briefly see him shake his head as he looks down at his phone. 

It’s  a while before the food gets there, and even longer for the driver to argue with the nurse at triage. Jack finally sees the commotion and goes out and grabs it, apologizing to the nurse.

He calls you over and you grab the food, heading into the breakroom. You sit down and open up the paper brown bag. You think about how your night worked out, you got free dinner and a show anyway. And this was actually a show you quite enjoyed. You did love your job, maybe an unhealthy amount. But you had worked so hard to get here, and you were good at it. You were Abbot’s best resident. You were fast at assessing and scoping out which treatment would be best. You flew around the ED like it was nothing to you. 

After a few minutes of eating alone, Jack came to join you, taking what he ordered out of the bag.

“So, what’s wrong with Ellis?” you pry.

“She thinks she has the flu, super high fever and throwing up.”

“Got it, just wanted to make sure this wasn’t all a ploy to get me here on my day off.”

“And if it was?” Jack asks. 

You’re stunned for a second before you regain yourself, “Then I would say you’re very unprofessional, and that you’re interfering with my personal life.”

He shrugs– smirks, “You don’t want a healthy work life balance. Plus, we have fun together, don’t we?”

You try not to think about how he can read you; how he’s got you memorized like you’re the back of his hand. “We do.”

You finish your food and throw the empty container in the trash, excusing yourself. You swoop into the on-call room, trying to calm yourself. You rest your back against the door and swipe a hand down your face. 

The truth is, you’ve had a crush on Jack since your first day at The Pitt. it was a schoolgirl one at first, you thought he was cute. It was fun to be attracted to your boss; to have a little work crush that you could be excited about. But then, it started getting deeper, Jack paid extra attention to you, he could tell that you actually enjoyed the ED. You were always with him on cases, he picked you for his ‘team’ during busy mass casualties. He got to know you, you got to know him. He was no longer a mysterious crush who you just thought was cute. You liked him, in a way you didn’t want to. It was distracting some days. It was even more distracting when you had a feeling you weren’t being delusional. When you wondered why he called you, a second year resident, instead of one of the seniors, or another attending. 

There’s a knock at the door, and you open it, shocked to see Jack standing outside. He walks in and you allow him, moving out of the way so he can lock the door behind him. You can feel your heart in your throat. You sit down on the bed, hoping it’ll stabilize you. 

There’s silence; tension you could cut with a knife. He stands with his hands resting on a countertop. The storm rages outside the window, a big crack of thunder rings throughout the room. Jack is just looking, trying to scope you out. He pushes off and approaches you. You swallow, and look down at your feet, trying to avoid eye contact, but Jack isn’t having any of it. He grabs your chin and tilts your head up, forcing you to look at him. He leans down, presses his forehead against yours. He lets his lips ghost yours— just barely.

“Tell me to stop.” he begs, out of breath, just like when he called you.

You place a hand on his neck, fingers threading lightly through the hair at the bottom, “What if I don’t want you to?” He groans, burrows his head into your neck. “I want it, Jack, of course I want it.” 

That’s all it takes. His lips are on yours without another beat. The kiss is rough— needy. Your teeth clash against each other, and his tongue explores your mouth. He lays you back onto the bed and your legs open, making room for him. He settles himself and gets to work on your neck, his hand slowly slides up your shirt, resting on your stomach.

He’s still being cautious, you think. You push his hand up and he cups your breast. He makes a strained noise when he feels the lace on your bra.

“You were gonna wear that for him?” Jack asks, right into your ear.

“No, I was wearing it for myself.” an honest answer. 

Jack rips your pants off and sees, what he assumes, is the matching thong. The underwear shifts down a bit, and you think Jack is gonna pass out.

Your small tattoo, a mistake from undergrad. A scripture on your hip that reads, ‘lucky you.’

“You’re gonna fucking kill me, kid.” he brushes his thumb over the words. Thinks about them. Doesn’t move for a minute. 

“Good thing we’re in an emergency department.” 

The nickname sends a wave of arousal through you, just like it always does. It’s how he usually referred to you during emergencies, when you’d catch something that no one else saw. It was how he praised you. You never imagined you’d hear it in this context.

Jack stands up and you whine. He quickly strips off his clothes and is back on you in a second. He rests on his stomach and kisses your tattoo sloppily.

He rips off your underwear with ferocity. You’d be smart to feel a tinge of embarrassment. He is your boss. But you don’t. This feels right, this feels good. He swipes a finger through your folds and you keen. 

“So wet for me.” he mumbles.

Jack wastes no more time. His tongue makes quick work on your clit. He moves like he knows you. Like he’s done this a million times, like there’s no room for error. And there isn’t. You both knew this needed to be quick. There were patients outside of the door, and the nurses and other doctors will be wondering where you two went. He works at your clit and you try your hardest to not make any noise. He looks up at you while his tongue is buried in you, and you let out a cry. He reaches a free hand up and covers your mouth. You bite down on it and let your head fall back on the lumpy pillow.

Then, Jack pulls away. “The fuck?” you say it into his hand, so it’s a bit muffled.

“We’ve only got time for one thing. You’re gonna come when I do. Just had to get you ready.” He says.

You want to salute. You want to scream. You don’t really know how this is happening. 

Jack pulls off his boxers and you gulp. You see why he needed to get you ready. The length alone was bigger than anything you’ve taken, but he was girthy too. 

He pulls a condom out of a drawer in the room. “Did you stash that in here?” you laugh.

“No, they keep them in here. I always wondered why, but now I see.”

He rolls it on quickly and comes back to the bed. He rests on his heels, taking you in. “Are you sure?” Jack asks again.

“I’m positive. I’ve wanted this since I met you.”

He nods slowly, small smile coming to his lips. He moves so his hands are right next to your head. Jack lines himself up with your entrance and sinks in deep. 

“Shit,” he mumbles. “So fucking tight.”

“You feel so good,” you cry.

“Yeah? This good for you?” He sets a brutalizing pace, hips never faltering. His head falls into your neck again. “Your perfume is driving me fucking crazy, sweetheart. Could smell you whipping around this hospital. Every time you passed me, I thought I was going to have to take you right there.”

He’s rambling now, you realize. Pussydrunk from how you feel. 

“Maybe I’ll have to wear it more, break the rules a bit, if it leads to this.” you say, resisting the urge to moan in the middle of your sentences.

He pants, stifles his own noises. “You’re close,” you say.

“It’s been a while, every time I went on a date, I would just think of you.” 

“Is that true?”

“I’m already in your pants, no reason to lie.” his hips start to stutter. “Y’gonna come with me?”

You scope out the feeling in your stomach and focus in on it, Jack brings a hand down between your bodies and starts rubbing your clit. “Fuck, God, yes. Yes, I am.”

The room is filled with heavy breaths, the air has gone thick. You spot a bolt of lightning run through the sky and grab Jack’s head, bringing his ear down to your mouth. “Now,” you whisper.

The thunder hits right as you both finish. It’s loud enough to mask the noises neither of you could hold back. He continues the pace until you come down. You both gasp into each other. Jack slowly pulls out, taking the condom over to the trash can and burying it under some paper towels. 

He comes back to the bed and sits on the edge, massaging your shin. “I’m gonna make an assumption and say that was the best sex of your life,” you scoff, but don’t deny it. “But, we have to get back.”

“I know,” you say, wishing you could stay in this room forever. “God, this is really gonna fuck with my work life balance.”

Jack laughs and stands up, placing a kiss on your forehead. “C’mon, lucky girl. We’ll figure it out.”